MEN -- ACCORDING TO WOMEN (Hilarious)

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[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

Men – According to Women

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ....WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine.

They all start out like grapes, and it's a womans job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

[SeaDragon]

Men are like a fine wine.

They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

OMG! this is pricless. I may have to frame this one.

[SeaDragon]

And lastly "can't shoot'em"

LOL

And that is because we shoot back....

[I_Love_My_Husband]

LOL!! I *love* men, wait, I *love* just my boyfriend only, but you know what I mean. This article is too true!!! Come on guys, don't be such spoil sports, lighten up! You guys just had a thread about women and PMS that I thought was hilarious! Get a sense of humor!

[AmishDude]

I will say this: Anyone who says "None of my relationships never work out, I never meet the right men." is missing that there is one constant that runs through all of those relationships.

[longleaf]

It's been my experience that women really don't want to be attached to a "nice guy." That trait is seen as weakness. It's a primordial thing over which they really have no control.

Also, an ugly or plain-looking man with money is far to be preferred, in their minds, to a handsome man of average or lower income.

I think an explanation of this could be that the handsome man might be given more opportunities to cheat on her, and she knows she won't have to worry about that as much with ol' Quasimodo.

[AmishDude]

The big mystery is why the nice men won't make a move.

Once bitten, twice shy?

[AmishDude]

Somewhere that decent single men of adequate masculine quality spend their free time. Churches. Volunteer organizations . . .

. . . math and computer science departments . . .

[klee]

Definition of the word Father:

A guy who carries pictures in his wallet where his money use to be.

[AmishDude]

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

But if he (still) has money, you can be assured that he's single!

[AmishDude]

incredibly smart (he's an electrical engineer)

. . . must refrain . . . from sarcastic remark . . . AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!

[Cagey]

Please remove me from your "ping" list.

LOL!

[AmishDude]

OK, OK . . .

incredibly smart (he's an electrical engineer)

Why would you make one statement, and disprove it in the next?

Whew. There. Thank you. :)

Electrical Engineering: "0,1,AND,OR,NOT"

[AmishDude]

I know, I know. We mathematicians tend to be a little defensive when others are deemed "intelligent". I mean, we hafta prove stuff, for heaven's sake!

[Old Professer]

Write this down:

If you want to make a man love you, first find a hard man and make him soft, he'll follow you around like a puppy dog.

[truthkeeper]

Aw, shucks. (BTW, what did I tell you before? Heh.)

[I_Love_My_Husband]

I love those *nerdy* math types, er I did. Well I do still, but I have one........ummm, you guys are NOT easy! The brain thing keeps going and going and going. Nothing is simple. Everything complicated with this type. But still, I'm committed forever, and I love him sooooo much!!