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Scientists Can Make Plants Scream
Ananova ^
| 11-23-2001
Posted on 11/23/2001 8:31:27 PM PST by blam
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To: PoorMuttly
Wanna really hear a scream...wire up a donut!Want to REALLY, REALLY hear a scream?
Eat a donut in front of Rosie O'Donnel.
To: Lazamataz
That's TWO screams.
As soon as a banana starts to purr ...I will stop eating it.
43
posted on
11/24/2001 9:58:34 AM PST
by
Sungirl
To: blam
It's all the Vegans fault. The mean, self centered indulgers in plant eating should feel real guilty. Moo.
44
posted on
11/24/2001 10:02:06 AM PST
by
Roebucks
To: blam
I can hear this guy saying "Ve haf vays to make you Tok!"
To: blam
Old news. FR has been making socialists and other vegetables scream for years.
To: A CA Guy
Put a picture of Hillary in front of them and they'll uproot themselves and commit suicide as well.
ROFLMAO
Oh, Good Grief!
LOL
To: COB1
vegeterian: noun,
too dumb to hunt
48
posted on
11/24/2001 10:21:49 AM PST
by
ofMagog
To: blam
Y'know, there used to be a website for an "organization" called PETVA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables Also), but it seems to have disappeared. Oh, well... let's see what I can find as a substitute. Ah, this will do nicely:
<><><><><><>
Sunday May 13 10:37 PM EST
Protesters Clash in Portland
By BBspot.com Correspondent Ralf the Dog
Portland, OR - Members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and PETV (People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables) clashed today. Protests started peacefully with members of PETA throwing fake animal blood made from maple syrup and carrot juice at the PETV protesters while the PETV protesters were throwing fake maple syrup and carrot juice made from blood at the PETA people.
Later the PETA and PETV members started throwing rocks at each other. At this point members of PETM (People for the Ethical Treatment of Minerals) entered the fight but they were quickly overwhelmed because they were throwing ham sandwiches with mustard and tomatoes.
After the wounded and dead were taken off of the battlefield, members of PETV called a peace conference to address their differences. "We invited the PETA people to our headquarters for vegetarian chili and a movie."
When asked how the two groups got along the PETV members said that they liked the PETA members, "They were very tender hearted. Very tender. The movie 'Silence of the Lambs' was also quite good. "
No members of PETA were available for comment.
***********************************************
You've Gotta See This!
To: blam; Orual
"You have, this evening, cut a basketful of roses. You have with a sharp pair of scissors cut through the stems of living things, and each rose that you cut screamed in the most terrible way. Did you know that, Mrs. Saunders?"
"No," she said. "I certainly didn't know that."
"It happens to be true," he said. He was breathing rather rapidly, but he was trying to control his excitement. "I heard them shrieking. Each time you cut one, I heard the cry of pain. A very high-pitched sound, approximately one hundred and thirty-two thousand vibrations a second. You couldn't possibly have heard it yourself. But I heard it."
"Did you really, Mr. Klausner?" She decided she would make a dash for the house in about five seconds.
-- Roald Dahl, The Sound Machine, c. 1950. Collected in Someone Like You.
50
posted on
11/24/2001 10:23:37 AM PST
by
dighton
To: blam
My wife won't feed me beans anymore as a result of their delayed sceaming.
To: blam
better keep this guy away from the sewer system. all the gas coming from there will scream him into the nutt house...
To: PoorMuttly
Wanna really hear a scream...wire up a donut!Funny thing about doughnut is when they scream, they scream my name.
To: TightSqueeze
Your name is "Noooo! Eat the Jelly guy!!!" ?
To: SamAdams76
Uh-oh, that would mean no more beer, too. Better keep this quiet.
To: blam
The German newspaper Express reports Mr Gaebler demonstrated the method by cutting a leaf off an orchid, which caused a piercing scream. Does this mean pruning rosebushes and trees and such will be outlawed by treehuggers? Could pruning be considered a hate crime if you know it will scream?
To: blam
Well now I have to admit...I use to sneak up behind eggplants and scream at them when they weren't looking just to hear them scream and jump....damn...hate when the truth gets out.
To: blam
I refuse to eat anything that does or doesn't have a face on it.
To: dighton
Great post. Queen's gambit.
FR!
59
posted on
11/24/2001 10:04:40 PM PST
by
alcuin
To: SamAdams76
Now that we have proven that plants are capable of suffering, does this mean that vegetarians are now going to have to starve to death? Yes! This leaves only dirt, sand, and rocks for them to eat!
60
posted on
11/24/2001 10:06:36 PM PST
by
Jay W
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