Sex-Starved Marriages - Women Struggle to Cope With Spouses' Low Sex Drives

ABC News ^ | 09/26/03 | John Stossel

[maui_hawaii]

Meaning no disrespect here, but nothing you've said has anything to do with low sex drive in married males. The whole thing is exactly related to sex drive.

If you've gotten burned, can't trust your partner, or had your feelings hurt... then you say its not related to sex?

Thats absolutely related to sex.

Its not just the sheer physiology of it.

The state of the mind relates directly to the state of the body.

[sweetliberty]

I think with your attitude it is no wonder that you are still single and that is probably a good thing. You will never find anyone "good enough" until you do a little soul-searching and accept that some of your relationship issues may lie with you and not with every woman you meet. What we see in others is most often a reflection of ourselves and if the image is a negative one it is because there is something in our own character that we don't want to look at.

[sweetliberty]

"So if you're expecting ladies not to talk about you, you are expecting something that never was and never will be. Especially if you refuse to pay for dinner!"

ROTFL! Isn't that the truth?

[maui_hawaii]

I'd rather be single for ever than divorced. No offense intended, but thats just my thing.

The fact of the matter is, I have met women that act the ways I think women should act.

Most of them are above 70 years old.

[Ol' Sox]

Proverbs 21

9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

[sweetliberty]

"I have met women that act the ways I think women should act."

Well, I'm sure that these women would be thrilled to know that they meet YOUR standards. Perhaps I am misunderstanding you, but your attitude seems selfish and arrogant to me, although I do commend you for at least being honest enough about it not to delude women into thinking you're something you're not.

[Quix]

Thanks.

My 80 year old Dad enjoyed that with a great chuckle.

[oceanperch]

Boy everyone has an opinion on this subject matter.

I recently had an exp. of a lifetime.
Right or wrong it happened.
I took up a chaste lifestyle 13yrs ago and being overweight was a big help but about 8 weeks ago I had an affair with a young man who made me hot just being in my presence.

Well it was not the best idea to open pandoras box after all these years. Wow talk about over come by the flesh. Woooe. Affair is over but I have yet to regret it. Wrong morally of coarse. I highly doubt it will ever happen again.

Now I am excersizing and have quiet the bounce in my walk and smile on my face. Best sex in my life and loved every minute of it.

My only regret it ended. Now I know how older men feel about younger woman.

Now I do not want to be single anymore. I was commited to being single for life too.

I want to get married and do it the right way but a healthy uninhibited sex life is going to be in the agreement.

I can still smell him and to make things more immorall I practiced my photography so now I guess I am guilty of pornography too.

I fell and fell hard guess I will have to hit bottom LOL worse than a drunk.

[PatrioticAmerican]

Condidering that most women are fatter than they ever have been...

[Melas]

Did you just say that if a girl wants to date you, she can't have friends? Isn't isolation from friends and family a major indicator of abuse?

[Quix]

I suppose my limited experience is one reason . . .

But personally, I can think of a lot more backrubs I've enjoyed than sexual experiences. On the one hand, it's kind of sad.

And on the other hand you have different fingers.

Errr . . .

And on the other hand sex could be overrated.

There used to be a tribe on the cold southern tip of South American which tended to wear no to little clothes and have sex totally and only for procreation and that very rarely. They thought it odd and disgusting that anyone would think anything else about it.

Personally, I like to think of it as a great mysterious example of Christ's Love for The Church.

Alas, the example far too routinely falls so far short of even hints of that mystery.

Perhaps it is because of such lack of sacrificial, servant-hearted Love freely exchanged between the partners in a list of other ways.

[oceanperch]

Oh I did feel guilty about visiting Free Republic while it was going on.

My holier than thou I am a chaste Catholic conservative woman and anyone can do it attitude was shot all to hell.

(picking self up an dusting off)

[ValerieUSA]

Diabetes affects many functions... from circulation, nerves, pituitary gland, hormone production and blood pressure (blood pressure meds are a cause of impotence in men, too) ... they all contribute to permanent damage to sexual organs and desire that cannot be treated with viagra or TLC.

[maui_hawaii]

I don't know...maybe I play eye for an eye. At least to some extent its that way.

Thats not saying I throw the book at someone for a small thing.

If they want to play hardball then we can do that too.

Most of the time I just keep my mouth shut and keep the powder dry. I've seen many girls that show interest in dating...but when I see outrageous habits or behavior, I quietly decline keep to myself.

I am too observant. Sometimes foresight gets in my way.

[Quix]

Ah, well, I've always been poor at guessing satire and humor in some contexts of some sorts.

He has my cheers and respect for all he does. The main thing is that You Love him as he is.

Sounds like you do.

More power to both of you--and God's best wholeness, healing and intimacy of all the best sorts.

[Melas]

I think that one of the problems with low male sex drive might be from having an unattractive spouse.

Some people stay good looking longer than others, but age uglies the best of us up. There has to be more there than looks.

My wife doesn't look the same at 43 that she did at 23, and goodness knows that I don't look the same either. There has to be something more enduring about your love life than looks. Not that I would have believed it when I was 20, or even 30.

[Doc On The Bay]

You MAY have just posted the best summarization of the emasculation of the American Male I have EVER SEEN!

SO MUCH of male sexual "performance & Desire" is Mental/emotional, that any concerted effort to discredit "Maleness" is likely to have an inordinately large effect.

ALAS!, "Male Sexuality" is a fragile Entity; a Man's "Physical Performance" is NOT a "Physiological 'Given,' (as the "Feminists" would have us believe,)," a Man's "Sexual Performance" is MOSTLY a Psychological Event.

( To the Ignorant Feminists--), Sorry, Ladies, Human Males are FAR MORE complex than "Your Average Paramecium!!"

Short of Electric Rectal Probes, NO Male Human Treated as a "Sperm Donor" is likely to Voluntarily respond to such an insult with a "Sperm Sample" under ANY circumstances!

Somehow, Sadly, a LOT of Women have forgotten that Sex is a "Partnership!"

I HOPE we have not descended to this level, but I FEAR THAT the Current generation of women are UTTERLY IGNORANT of Human Sexual Behavior!

HUMAN/Mammalian SEX requires that BOTH "Male & Female" "Partners" participate!

If the "FEMINAZI's" have successfully poisoned "Reproduction," American Females will be left Wondering WHY their "Lothario's" Can't Deliver!

There can be NO BETTER Indightment of "Feminizm" than the FAILURE of American Males to "Perform!!"

Watch Out, "Feminists!,"--the MALES have, thus Far, been unwilling to openly Fight the psychopathology fomented by the "Feminists."

The "BACKLASH" is going to be BRUTAL & 'MALE!!'"

Doc Apparently, the "Feminists" NEVER spent much time attempting to understand "The Male!"

All of our Information indicates that the "Politically Active" members of the "Feminists" have ASSUMED THAT "Males" are merely "Misguided Females!"

SORRY!!--"Males," & "Females," are NOT "Variations on the Same Theme!!"

While we may Both want the same Outcome, you can NEVER ASSUME that we (Men & Women) "Think Alike!"

SO BE IT!

Doc

[oceanperch]

Watch it you may eat your words someday.

[maui_hawaii]

You are getting absolutely rediculous.

No one cares if she has friends. I actually think family relationships is very important.

I certainly don't want to isolate anyone from that. I actually want to encourage it.

As for the friends thing though, it must be kept in check.

If you and your wife had a long and extremely personal family discussion... What would you feel like if she went out and blabbed all of your deeply held personal feelings to her group of friends? What if its something that you don't want or feel that she should share with others?

That represents the kind of limits on friends I am talking about.

If we are going to have that relationship then she has to respect that relationship. Its not just her...its both.

She would feel just as bad if I went out and told all the guys on a construction site about ALL of the details of what we did in bed. That would be equally bad.

Secondly, on the limits to friends, I have met many girls who can't make a choice or decision one without consulting her friends. Why? Why can't they think for themselves?

I watched that show Cupid on TV and it was extremely wrong IMO. If she has to ask her friends if she should like me or not, then she's not the one.

I like women who have their own minds. Thats not saying ALL the time, because no one can do everything without advice...but some take that advice gathering to extremes.

Thats the stuff I don't like.

[bethelgrad]

I've never heard of a guy having low sex drive. My wife, and the wives of many of my friends, however.....