Thankfully, hubby's grandfather stepped into the role as primary parent (my father-in-law dad died when hubby was still a toddler).
I have his grandfather to thank for helping raise such a fine man, a devoted husband, and a fabulous, nurturing father. Strong, too, to have survived that woman and still looked favorably on marriage.
I rejoice in the fact that my children see very little of my mother-in-law. She cut my husband to the core when she stated about my own two precious toddlers, "What do I need them for? They can't help me." This was her "excuse" when my husband asked why she didn't call to inquire about the kids every once in a while (as in not one phone call in 3 years - but there was hell to pay if he didn't call her religiously).
Even before they were born, she was quite emphatic that we should never expect her to babysit; she didn't want our future children over to her house until they learned not to make too much noise, etc. We are quiet, conservative people by nature, but she was confident that playing babies would rattle her nerves.
By the time my children arrived, we had moved to the other side of the country; but even if we hadn't, I certainly would not have asked.
I have the deepest sympathies for my sister-in-law, who is getting married shortly and hopes to start a family of her own.
I am sorry that my children are missing a relationship with my own parents, but they will know how she burns up the phone lines wanting details about them, sends packages like crazy, gifts and cards and love from across the miles. She almost cried when my son said, "Hi Grandma," for the first time of the phone, and spoiled my babies thoroughly when we spent several days with them over the winter.
If I could be just a 1/10th as good a mother to my children as my own mother was to me, my kids will have a great start in life.