Serious question...year long addicted addict...I could use some qualified answers

Focault

[CharacterCounts]

All the counseling and therapy in the world will have little effect unless:

1. She is truly commited to kicking the addiction

2. She stops hanging around with the same friens she was hanging with while addicted. Trust me on this one, if she continues to spend time with addicts, sooner or later, they will wear her resistance down. Misery loves company.

[Ol' Sox]

Focault,

An addiction is a physical manifestation of a spiritual problem. The emptiness that she is trying to fill is a God-shaped hole in her heart. She needs to be gently and patiently introduced to the Lord. I speak from whence I know.

[colorado tanker]

I would recommend seeking out a group for families and friends of addicts. NarAnon and Families Anonymous are groups for families and friends of addicts; Al-Anon is for families and friends of alcoholics. Stay away from NarcAnon - its a scientology group. If there isn't a group near you, you could try seeking information from a treatment center or therapist experienced in helping addicts and families.

Bear in mind, you didn't cause this problem and you can't cure it. The best thing you can do is detach from the drug problem and let your friend work the problem, while you take care of yourself and keep being a good friend.

Good luck.

[Search4Truth]

One should not underestimate the power of a mother's love to cure whatever ails you. :)

[Humidston]

I've been told that cigarettes are about the hardest habit to break, so if people can quit smoking people should also be able to quit drugs.

Having said that, she definitely needs to find new friends and get into a support group ASAP. And if you want to participate in her sobriety you need to attend as well. Good luck! Most of this battle will be hers to fight.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Thank you all! this younger gal did not start off as my friend..but she has become one. I want to make sure she enjoys a future.

BTW she's old enough to be my daughter. I can't stand this happening to young people.

[jim_trent]

Sorry to hear this, but you need to realize that you can do nothing. IF SHE wants to get clean, you can provide support. Getting her involved in sports, hobbies, or other non-drug related things (as has been suggested) is necessary, but she has to want it. If she doesn't want to stay clean for her own sake, she will take advantage of you and fall back into drug use. Offer support, hobby supplies, memberships, time, but NO MONEY.

[metesky]

Next time you take her to a convenience store, park further away.

The longer run back to the car will do wonders for her health.

[smokeyb]

Well, if it isn't then someone needs to have a long talk with someone about the word TACT !

[hoosiermama]

How true. As a mother of a recovering addict, it is one of the most difficult tasks a parent can find themselves in. There are many ways to LOVE a person. One is to "let go and let God". God's love is more powerful than even a mothers. I know.
My son knows I will always be here for him, but he also know what enabling is and doesn't ask or want me to treat him in such a manner. It does not help the self esteem or sobriety.

[Badray]

"Oh yeah, this isn't a coincidence, having a cat show up on a zotted thread, with the Viking Kitties?"

Smokey! Don't stand too close to ZD in case he's on to something. He may be the next zot. LOL

[f.Christian]

The real successful people in recovery programs are those who work in the intake programs because they continue to see worst case scenarios and as a reminder what to avoid doing !

One man I know of personally said he would never take the chance again because his recovery (( didn't know he had a problem )) was a miracle - unexpected gift from God and he wasn't sure if there would be another !

[Search4Truth]

If I may make another suggestion; a close family friend had such a problem with his daughter, with all of is accompanying manifestations. He sent her to school in Mexico for a year. The change in his daughter was dramatic.

I believe that a big part of addiction is environmental. And removing someone from the environment in which they developed their problems, can give them the time they need to create a new life. Preferably this new environment would be conducive to developing a new and productive life.

If your young friend continues in the environment in which she developed her destructive behavior, then she is likely to continue it. She must be removed from the influences that caused her to make this terribly self-destructive choice. IMHO

[Search4Truth]

Your son appears to have a lot to be thankful for. He should count his blessings. And you can tell him a said so. We appear to take much for granted these days.

[RaceBannon]

I am a former addict. Not heroin, but it does not matter.

Methadone is not going to help. All it does is keep a junkie happy between fixes, she needs to come clean.

She now needs to re-examine her life from the point of: who did she hang around with, what personal life style did she identify with, and she needs to never go back to either. And I mean never.

Old friends that she did drugs with are FORBIDDEN to come in contact with her. ZERO.

Old places she hung out at are FORBIDDEN. ZERO.

She needs a new life.

She also needs to be told she dOES NOT HAVE A DISEASE, her problem IS her fault, and she needs to face that. It IS HER MISTAKE AND IT IS HER FAULT.

There is nothing that ever happened in her life that gave her the excuse to do drugs. She did it to herself.

I dont care what happened to her to 'mess her up'. There is no other reason a person does drugs other than that they picked up. They did drugs to themselves.

If other issues arise, personal issues that some former addicts use to cite as to why they needed drugs, tell her to see a Bible believing Pastor about it, because her problems are spiritual, not psychological.

Buy her a Bible, and open it to the Book of John, and let her read it abut 300 times. Let God do the rest.

Let her know you love her, and she can call you any time to talk, and that you will come pick her up if she finds herself in some place she does not belong. If possible, she needs an escort for the next 3 months to make sure she only goes to the store or mall or movies.

She is not to drink alchohol, smoke pot, or take any illegal drug, and if you hear of it, she is to be turned in and sent back to rehab immediately because her life depends on it. And I am not joking.

The only mercy shown to a active drug addict is anything that keeps them from doing drugs again. They need to live without the drugs on their own, but you can help that only a little.

[rwfromkansas]

Be there are for her....just love her.

And encourage her to fight the addiction. But, she has to decide to want to do so.

[Just another Joe]

FP, I can speak to this with some degree of personal experience.

#1 - Try to get her into a church that she will enjoy participating in. It won't do any good to just go on Sundays, she must participate in activities within the church.
The support can be unbelievable.

#2 - Try to get her out of the circle of friends that, either helped the addiction along - or - didn't do anything.

#3 - Try to get her into some type of support group (Narcotics Anonymous, etc)

#4 - Try is the only thing you can do. She must be the one that wants to change.

[headsonpikes]

Bump.

"The real successful people in recovery programs are those who work in the intake programs..."

There's some life-wisdom here.

;^)

[Tijeras_Slim]

Someone I knew nearly ruined himself and his family due to cocaine. He hit bottom, and dried out in the hospital (had been in a nearly fatal accident). A support group of others who had been addicted seemed to be the most helpful thing. He's been clean 12 years. I hope this all works out for the best for your friend.

[sit-rep]

You must fill the HUGE void now in her life. With what is impossible for me to say because I do not know her. All I can say is, I hope she is a strong enough person to help herself fill this void.

Good luck, and try not to involve too much entertainment in filling the void. Untill the void is at least 3/4 filled, entertainment will increase the desire for an increased entertainment...

JMHO...

SR