Why Do Divorce Laws Marginalize Men?

Askmen ^ | Douglas Cooney

[Pikachu_Dad]

A very nice post Ethan.

[Yasotay]

In a secret court .... without legal representation .... I was falsely accused of a crime ..... and had my freedom taken away from me ..... so am I a terrorist??? .... no only a father who did win custody ten years ago of a then 4 year old girl. America is not free, it has not been for over ten years now .... but I encourage ALL fathers to FIGHT. If your kids aren't worth fighting for, then nothing is!!!

[Don Corleone]

If you watch the current crop of TV sitcoms and also the ads that support them you will soon see that the males are made out to be incompetent dolts,goof balls of unending stupidity, and generally inferior intelectually and emotionally to the female stars. No more "Father Knows Best" or "The Cosby Show" or "Dick Van Dyke" The tables have been turned and it seems as if we "Wusses" are willing to accept it that way. Can you say,"P-Whipped?"

[PackerBoy]

Think of it as Gender Reparations.

[umgud]

My ex got the house and $1,500/mo alimony
I got all 4 kids and all the bills.
Best deal I ever made.

[reformed_dem]

I've seen both sides of this. I've seen a woman get custody of her child (that she really didn't want) just because she thought she should. The father was a much better and more stable choice, but he only gets weekends and half the summer.

On the other side, I've seen a woman getting screwed over by her soon-to-be ex-husband. He cheated on her and started hiding money as he made his plans to leave her. He started reducing his salary so as (he hopes anyway) not to have to pay her as much alimony and child support as he should. She put him through college working 2 jobs and now he's the big wage earner, trying to leave her and their child high and dry.

[clockwork]

Thanks for the article. It is so right on. We don't hear much about "dead-beat Moms" in the media do we. Here in Georgia there have been several attempts to lower the age at which a child can choose which parent to live with from 14 to 12. Of course, the divorce lawyers and feminist groups lobby against it and win. Basically, the middle class Dads are being forced to pay for the sins of the lower class Dads (better known as "my babies daddy"). In some communities it is normal for 16 year olds to start downloading babies with multiple "fathers" and then request that the state support them. These "fathers" never have an intention to support their children so the government reacts by passing more and more punitive laws. Of course, the only ones who actually comply are the typical middle class Dads who would have supported their children anyway after Mom ran off with her areobics instructor. They just don't want to give 30-40 percent of their income so the ex-wife can afford to get a massage and pedicure every week with her new lover....meanwhile having to buy the kids most of their essential items because Mom sends them to "visitation" in rags. Been there done that.

[goodnesswins]

I can tell you a story of a guy who tried to get the child support from his ex (in a joint custody - where he had NEVER paid child support), got the house (she let him have it just so she could get away from him) and then he kept the kid from seeing his mother whenever he could.....in other words, it CAN work both ways. Despicable people do despicable things.

[cherry]

not this again....our biweekly lecture ....

[dogbyte12]

Well, my situation was a tad different. My dad cheated on my mom, and beat the crap out of me and my brothers. The school psychologist found out, and told my mom that she would put us in protective care(mom was unaware of the abuse of us kids), unless we removed my dad from the house, (which mom payed the payments on, because dad spent his bigger check on booze).

Dad refused to pay child support, moved out of state. Gave us $25 on our b-day, and for x-mas, and called maybe 5 times a year, took us every other summer for 2 weeks. Mom worked 3 jobs to put us in private school.

Some guys are complete a-holes. My dad is one of them. He quit drinking after my mom booted him out, then 4 years later proceded to knock a woman up, and of course refused to accept any responsibility, financial, emotional or otherwise. No booze to blame this time.

I am not going to be holding a pity party for him next Sunday. Yes some guys get amazingly screwed by the system. Some others though, get off way too easy.

[Sparta]

Guys, just find a woman you hate and give her half your stuff and be done with it.

That's all what a 21st Century American marriage is.

[LasVegasMac]

God Bless and - excuse the contrite expression - You Da MAN!

It has to be hard, but the kids are great - even when they act like nipple heads.

LVM

[Pikachu_Dad]

Urban myth? Balderdash.

Most dads are driven away by vindictive, evil women and the corrupt courts.

[LasVegasMac]

Flash for you - most of the seperations I've seen were when I was in the military. The wife finding Jody while hubby was off defending the country.

I have the opposite view you do - the women are the ones acting the part of the whore - and the men pay for it. Being in the military, they are screwed beyond belief.

LVM

[Yasotay]

Most fathers don't even ask for the custody of their kids...

Why? Because men know it is a very ugly fight and the odds are stacked way against them .... so most of them just leave because they believe they can't win.

[jethropalerobber]

How many men do you see in the well baby clinic?

i think you are being a little unfair.

i agree with you that generally it is women more than men who raise children (whether single, married, or divorced), but everyone's story is different. does not being at the well baby clinic denote a lack of interest in the child, or does it just reflect a very common division of labor choice?

also, i can understand child support payments, but i have never understood alimony - it seems like a throwback to pre equal rights days. the whole concept of alimony seems really insulting and i can't see why any woman would seek or accept it.

what do you think?

[Ben Chad]

You might enjoy the movie, Life as a House. Take a box of tissues.

[NonValueAdded]

I've heard it summed up this way: "I hope the blanking you got was worth the blanking you're gonna get."

The article shows us the answer is usually no. Talk about your marriage penalty!