Put some ice on it.
Some Advice For Hollywood
by Jon Alvarez
I'm a huge fan of the movies and the escapism they provide. I also happen to be an avid collector of movies on DVD and I love the experience of seeing films on the big screen. However, I've grown resentful of many in Hollywood for their actions and words during the past year. I resent being put in the position where I have to remind the woman at Best Buy who is about to purchase Jennifer Aniston's "Picture Perfect" that Ms. Aniston called the leader of our country a "F#cking Idiot". As I watched that woman toss her initial choice to the side in disgust and proudly pick up a Bruce Willis movie, I realized that it is my duty to educate and advise the upcoming generations of Hollywood celebrities. For the sake of other movie fans like myself, I hope they will learn from this list of rules aimed at preserving and maintaining the star status they've worked so hard to achieve.
Rule #1 You are an ENTERTAINER. Your job is to play make-believe characters and to sell tickets and DVDs. Once you make it as a star, you will lead a charmed life and enjoy an opulent lifestyle. The average working stiff like myself will live vicariously thru you. Remember, you are in a business that is ultimately dependent upon obtaining and maintaining a large fan base that will spend its hard-earned income on your products.
Rule #2 Do not forget Rule #1. It is so important that we need to repeat it. Your flamboyant lifestyle is totally dependent upon the whims of the viewing public. That leads us to rule #3.
Rule #3 Stay out of politics unless you plan to run for political office and no longer wish to make a living as an entertainer. Remember the old saying concerning polite dinner conversation and the exclusion of topics related to religion and politics? You should apply this to your career as well. The fewer people you offend, the more tickets you will sell.
Rule #4 If you choose to ignore Rule #3 and seek to utilize your star status to speak out on political issues, remember that not everyone will share your point of view on the matter at hand. The more controversial the topic, the more likely you will lose a portion of your paying customers. Again, if you choose to become a political activist, it could cost you a portion of your livelihood. You may want to evaluate how much you enjoy the lifestyle, privilege, and status you have worked so hard to achieve.
Rule #5 Do not affix your signature to any type of political document, especially one that is linked to radical political groups. It will only come back to haunt you. Ask your agent first if he/she thinks it is a good idea. If your agent tells you it is not a problem, get a new agent. He doesn't have your long-term success in mind.
Rule #6 Don't allow anyone to talk you into marching in a parade or joining a protest where the following are present:
1. The majority of those present look like extras from "That 60's Show".
2. Those attending are willing to chain themselves to anything.
3. People are willing to lie down in front of oncoming cars.
4. Voluntary vomiting is used as a form of protest.
5. People in attendance feel compelled to hide their identity via a ski mask or a bandana.
6. The American Flag is not proudly displayed or where it is being desecrated.
The presence of any one or all of these items listed should clue you in that this is not going to help you sell more movie tickets.
Rule #7 Remember that freedom of speech is a two-way street. You are free to speak your mind, but with that freedom comes consequences. If you happen to choose a particular cause that is offensive to enough people, don't be surprised if you quickly become "persona non grata". This is what we refer to as the Danny Glover Rule. This may also apply if you wage personal attacks against a certain person or persons your viewing audience hold in high regard.
Rule#8 If you choose to ignore the Danny Glover Rule, please don't whine to the media about the repercussions of your actions. This only makes it worse. Your viewing public is made up largely of hard-working stiffs that don't want to come home from work and see you on TV telling them how wrong they are. That does not help your situation. Furthermore, don't confuse consumer backlash with McCarthyism. No one forced you to speak out and the government has not arrested you, so take your licks like an adult. We'll respect you more for it.
Rule #9 If you happen to ignore this advice and follow in the footsteps of celebrity activists like Martin Sheen, Janeane Garofalo, George Clooney, etc. and offend a large percentage of your viewing audience, be prepared to apologize. Don't delay, don't hide, and please be sincere about it. The public knows who you are; you were either interviewed on TV and in print, you affixed your signature to some silly statement, or participated in a protest march. It's best to confront this head on and just suck it up. That is, of course, if you wish to get back into our good graces. America is a great country and its citizens are very forgiving. However, it's impossible to forgive when forgiveness isn't sought. Please remember this. It's your career we're talking about.
So there you have it; nine simple rules for the next generation of Hollywood celebrities to follow if they wish to preserve and maintain their star status. In today's world of instant news coverage and limited privacy, these rules should be printed and handed out by every agent to their newest client. Listen to your fans Hollywood; your career depends on it!
http://www.pabaah.com/
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Jon Alvarez
PABAAH: Patriotic Americans Boycotting Anti-American Hollywood
www.PABAAH.com
The Hollywood leftists think that they should control the agenda and that the skum/little people/sheep should do exactly as they are told, and mass to their productions.
The left, for a long long time has marginalized 70% of this great land....the middle west. They have discounted the power of the American people here. In 2000 they paid for that, and in 2002 they paid again. But, they still treat us like rubes and idiots. This kind of thinking, by the left, seems to ignore 9/11. The heart of the people in 'fly over country' are running to the Republican party. The more the hard left/socialists/communists rag on the christian middle west, the more they will come to the Republican party.
I've lived in Texas, west Texas. Born and raised there I saw a religious life that made me a much better man. I now live in Minnesota and I see the same thing I saw in Texas, growing up. Sunday is for worship, church, and all those things. When church is over the rest of the Lord's day can be used to relax, but you honor the Lord first.
Hollwood needs an injection of America before they can communicate with America. I work hard every day, I don't have "people" to tell me how great I am. I have to earn that all by my self. I have people that tell me "no" and I have people that tell me "yes". It's my job to make the no equal the yes, and get the job done, the right way. The spoiled children in Hollywood have never lived in this real world and they have never made a contribution to this America. I have, and I know you can't fake accomplishment.
You want to work? Shut the f--k up, just like the rest of us.
Awwwwwwwwwwwww.......poor Janeane. I am all tore up about this...(giggle, sputter, snort...) NOT!
Then, settlement in hand I can relax on a beach with a cold cooler of Corona and complain about how the illegal immigrants cutting my lawn are demanding legal wages ....
Hand me a beer...and make it a Tall-boy.
Yes, Janeane. It was the right-wing lobby that did this to you.
More precisely, and to identify the particular right-winger that did this, it was me.
I, personally, scotched your newest series, Janeane.
It was me.
The Wages Of Treachery
Paid In Hard Currency
The conservative Right has been forced to flex its muscles and was amazed at the results that were achieved. They are now emboldened and empowered, and are speaking up more and more. The Left is beginning to feel the sting of the vast Right (not conspiracy, but righteous indignation), and is not taking the tables being turned in a nice way, even though they had no problem throwing their supposed weight around.
What goes around, comes around, and it is finally coming around to the Left and they don't like it.
-PJ