U.S. Fast Food Chains Agree to Cheese Limits

The Onion ^ | 9/3/2002 | staff writer

[ivoteright]

My third grader needed a "current event" article to present at school today, and he chose the McDonald's fry oil story. I was so proud...I asked him if McDonald's was really worried about our health, and he said no, they were only worried about making money. Political correctness is for sale. I guess he won't be taking this article to school for a lesson on satire!

[dighton]

Black-armband time for America's Dairyland.

;-)

[dighton]

Mickey D's uses cheese?

They use a genuine ersatz cheese-like substance.

[headsonpikes]

"I can fashion my own diet..."

The Fashion/Irony Police will soon be on your case.

[Gumlegs]

They use a genuine ersatz cheese-like substance.

WHEYYYYYY cool!

[FreedomAvatar]

I do like a bit of Gorgonzola, Gromit.

[BlueLancer]

"The Fashion/Irony Police will soon be on your case."

SSSHHHHH! You weren't supposed to tell him that. We were just about ready to move in and make the grab, but you had to go and tell him, didn't you!!!

Now that you've spooked him, we'll just have to track him down again.

Be vewwy, vewwy quiet ...

[Lil'freeper]

The next step will be to boil frys in water. Yumm!

[Malcolm]

I can't wait..... </sarcasm>

[badfreeper]

"Mickey D's uses cheese? It looks like Velveeta. Is this a legitimate cheese thread?"

I think it's called pasteurized processed cheese type food product. Bleh. This is not a serious thread. The Onion is the source of all kinds of cheezy material. :)

[colorado tanker]

"This is not a serious thread. The Onion is the source of all kinds of cheezy material. :)." Sorry, I forgot to close my sarcasm tag. Just fries my onions when that happens.

[-YYZ-]

Process cheese slices (American cheese?) are not really cheese at all. They are a dairy product flavoured with some real cultured cheese ingredients, but they aren't cheese. Cheddar is cheese. Mozerella is cheese. That yellow pre-sliced and wrapped stuff they put on burgers at all the major chains is not cheese.

I must admit, though, that I prefer grilled cheese sandwiches made with process cheese slices rather than cheddar. The mildness and consistency after cooling just the right amount makes a good grilled cheese.

[Catspaw]

The Onion has disparaged all dairy cows in Wisconsin. They plan on a group methane release.

[Oztrich Boy]

"Blessed are the cheesemakers"

[blau993]

Fishheads, Fishheads, Fishheads, Fishheads

Fishheads, Fishheads, Fishheads,

Eat em up, YUM!

[Focault's Pendulum]

I wish that "Pre-Limit Double Quarter Pounder" was real! That looks good!That's the way I make '

That's the way I make 'em at home...but I'm afraid it's going to come to this in the end.

[firebrand]

If a word is used as an adjective (cheese slices), it's not really what it is when it's a noun.

[badfreeper]

"Process cheese slices (American cheese?) are not really cheese at all. They are a dairy product flavoured with some real cultured cheese ingredients, but they aren't cheese. Cheddar is cheese. Mozerella is cheese. That yellow pre-sliced and wrapped stuff they put on burgers at all the major chains is not cheese."

I agree wholeheartedly. One thing I've noticed (don't know if it's just me, though) is that dairy products taste different in the US. I've noticed it with milk and cheese, ice cream tastes the same but it's loaded with sugar and flavours. Ever notice any difference?

I wasn't going to bring this up since our American friends can't go there, but there's no better burger chain than Lick's. Real cheese, not to mention really good burgers. I've never looked into it because I don't have the start-up capital, but if the cost of a franchise is reasonable that would be a business to start up. They don't have any locations outside of Ontario.

[Genesis defender]

If a word is used as an adjective (cheese slices), it's not really what it is when it's a noun.

So what you're saying is that a slice of cheese is always cheese, but a cheese slice is not necessarily cheese?

BTW, my favorite "cheese" is chocolate cheese. I can get it at almost any decent cheese shop here in Wisconsin.

[dighton]

The Onion has disparaged all dairy cows in Wisconsin. They plan on a group methane release.

No smoking within 5,000 yards of Wisconsin.