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Me ^ | 05.02.02 | Registered

Posted on 05/02/2002 9:58:33 AM PDT by Registered

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To: JackelopeBreeder
13 year old: "Hey mom? I'm goin' to the shootin' range."

Mom: "Tommy, that is the fourth time today!"

41 posted on 05/02/2002 11:01:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: Registered
Term limits for both houses.
The ability to terminate the employment of federal employees.
Dropping membership in the U.N. and moving their headquarters to Saudi Arabia.
Outlaw of any corporate donations to a political party or candidate.
Forgiving ourselves the national debt, most of which we owe to ourselves.
Income tax flat rate of 10% for everyone. (even God doesn't ask for more than that)
Only natrual born male property owner's allowed to vote.
Closed borders
zero immigration for 50 years
Locally controlled public schools
No tax payer funded abortions

I could do this all day....later.

42 posted on 05/02/2002 11:02:12 AM PDT by MissAmericanPie
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To: maxwell
Sorry dude didn't mean to sit on it (*wink,wink,nudge,nudge*) . . .you know if you're not paying attention, I'm going to hit it a second time, every time
43 posted on 05/02/2002 11:02:41 AM PDT by realpatriot71
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To: Registered
"I have a dream that one day my children will be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
44 posted on 05/02/2002 11:07:37 AM PDT by Oschisms
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To: Lazamataz
that is the fourth time today!"

Amateur...

45 posted on 05/02/2002 11:15:21 AM PDT by maxwell
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To: maxwell
Little Tommy didn't say what time of the day it was.....;^)
46 posted on 05/02/2002 11:16:23 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: stanz
bttt to your post #16.
47 posted on 05/02/2002 11:19:18 AM PDT by summer
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To: Gabz;Yakboy
Go to Walmart electronics department and buy a little spray bottle of "Endust for Electronics"...anti- static cleaning and dusting spray, safe for PC's, VCR's, TV's.

Hubbie bought it just for me, when I gooped up the keyboard and the letters would stick like thissssssssssss.

(Use a cue-tip to get between the letter with the Endust).

sw

48 posted on 05/02/2002 11:21:30 AM PDT by spectre
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To: Registered
RETRIBUTION


49 posted on 05/02/2002 11:22:41 AM PDT by chudogg
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To: realpatriot71
Duuuuude... Now I'm jonesin'... It's been months... What I wouldn't do for a hit, man...
50 posted on 05/02/2002 11:25:58 AM PDT by maxwell
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To: dubyaismypresident
One name comes to mind: Molly Falconer
51 posted on 05/02/2002 11:28:00 AM PDT by AdA$tra
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To: maxwell
i havent smoked since high school, although i wouldnt mind taking a rip with GW.


52 posted on 05/02/2002 11:28:38 AM PDT by chudogg
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To: Registered
Repeal of the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Amendments would be a great start.
53 posted on 05/02/2002 11:28:46 AM PDT by antidisestablishment
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To: Registered
The resurrection of Vince Foster, Ron Brown and a host of others unfortunate enough to meet their end while associated with the Clintons. I'd love to hear the testimonies that came out of the hearings and trials that would follow.
54 posted on 05/02/2002 11:32:19 AM PDT by TADSLOS
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To: maxwell
LOL - after a few months, the next time you smoke you'll get so freakin' high you won't know what to do with yourself.
55 posted on 05/02/2002 11:34:38 AM PDT by realpatriot71
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To: stanz
You asked for it:

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest o

f this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good. (yes, I'm done now)

The Longest Insult

56 posted on 05/02/2002 11:35:31 AM PDT by antidisestablishment
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To: Registered
My Conservative Dream:

That the insight, intelligence and humor of my fellow Freepers is never to end!

57 posted on 05/02/2002 11:38:07 AM PDT by shetlan
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To: antidisestablishment; fourdeuce82d; stanz
I got a good one too y'all... (Thanks deuce!)

Your honor, officers of the court, ladies and gentlemen of the press, thank you for the opportunity to substantiate my protestations of intellectual vacuity. I am retarded; a microcephalic, bereft of even the slightest scintilla of cognitive puissance. My cranium encompasses a vacuole of stygian emptiness, innocent of intellect, devoid of thought....I's an ijit.

58 posted on 05/02/2002 11:39:10 AM PDT by maxwell
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To: Lazamataz
Nah, with zero tolerance everyone would be home schooled. It would be up to the parents to teach Johnny not to shoot off all the time. It would go from "Can I do it until I need glasses" to " Can I do it until I need a new set of toes".
59 posted on 05/02/2002 11:48:34 AM PDT by techcor
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To: Registered
My dreams:
Bill and Hillary go to jail and lose all their wealth as a result of their actions in office
The mideast runs out of oil. Completely. Now.
The Supreme Court rules that any tax on income is unconstitutional
Black Americans realize that the biggest obstacle they face is their self-appointed leadership
60 posted on 05/02/2002 11:55:31 AM PDT by bobsatwork
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