Library cat attack spawns lawsuit

North County Times (SoCal) ^ | 11/28/01

[Atticus]

Does the library cat's name happen to be Fred, by any chance?

[Don Joe]

"this guy bats left handed..."

Is that a polite way of saying there's no appreciable wear in his loafers?

Would that make him "round-toed"? (as opposed to "round-heeled")

Enquiring Cynical minds want to know!

[Don Joe]

Heheheheh, that looks about right.

[spunkets]

"Memories of the incident cause recurring "terror and fear" for Espinosa"

The jury ought to find for the plaintiff and award him a box of Depends.

[dandelion]

Those symptoms, when viewed as part of the "big picture", are part of a condition known as "Fraudulent Parasitic Victimitis". The sufferer constantly requires larger and larger sums of money and complete subservience from other human beings. The only known cure for "Fraudulent Parasitic Victimitis" is a Private Investigator, a hidden camera, and jail time combined...

[Catspaw]

In my latest AllPets catalog is an item (#191606) entitled, "Minimize Mishaps Created When Bathing or Medicating Cats." It's a "grooming bag [that] securely restrains the animal, preventing jumping and running away. Use while bathing, flea dipping, blow drying, nail clipping and during ear/eye care. Great for cats, rabbits, ferrets and small dogs up to 16 lbs." It costs $10.99. It looks like a mesh laundry sack.

My question: how do you get the cat into the bag in the first place?

[bluefish]

Heh heh. I like the way you write and just bookmarked your name. Heh heh..

[Cagey]

Probably just lay the bag down on the floor?

[bluefish]

Cool! Growing up, I had a cat named Fred. He was awesome because he enjoyed boxing with me. Sort of like a kitten bats at you, but a much more refined style. I'd get down with my face at his level and only use my thumbs. He would smack the crap out of me and never back down. I usually gave up first.

[JRandomFreeper]

You certainly have a way with words Don Joe. You created a wonderful mental image. LOL! Cool cat, btw.

/john

[NativeNewYorker]

How does the dog help with panic attacks?

I assumed some Sacramento legislator-on-the-take inserted a provision allowing for this to be paid for by the State...

[Atticus]

You beat me by a minute. That cat never fails to crack me up.

[Lady In Blue]

hahahahahahahahahaha!

[Lady In Blue]

Thanks for the next best laugh I had this evening! Your Fred must have been some cat! lol!

[CheneyChick]

Whew - am checking in late today on FR. Am glad to see FRed made his timely appearance!

[mountaineer]

I think FReD ran away from home after the unfortunate, ahem, anti-constipation procedure, and became a library cat only after a brief career as a bar bouncer and as Hillary Clinton's fashion advisor.

[CheneyChick]

You know how your mama told you not to cross your eyes cuz they'd stick that way? Well, FRed has the same look as when he first looked at Hillary, and it stuck.

[Don Joe]

"I like the way you write"

Thanks. I must confess -- I'm a writer. :)

[oldvike]

Damn I wish America had a "Loser Pays Law".

[Don Joe]

"You certainly have a way with words Don Joe. You created a wonderful mental image. LOL! Cool cat, btw."

Thanks. He's a different kinda cat alright. Big black and white "tuxedo", strong as an ox, no real sense of his own power. At first, the other cats were terrified of him. They're gradually getting beyond that, and he's slowly learning to fit in with them. But, he goes nuts for my wife and me. When I pick him up, he grabs my neck and starts licking my beard over and over trying to groom it for me, purring like a motorboat. He'd let me hold him for hours, if I'd do it. That's kinda rare. I may be reading too much into it (I don't think I am), but I think he's grateful for being rescued. He came scratching at the sliding glass door to the kitchen one night in the dead of winter. A couple of our cats were looking at him through the window, and when my wife slid the door open, he came running in! Very unusual. He was a wreck, all cut up, and half his ear frostbitten real bad. (It eventually dried up and fell off.) But, he didn't have the typical "starvation cat" look that most ferals have. This guy was obviously a successful hunter. Fast, strong, and he knows how to hold still and quiet. But, it had to be a hard life, between the cold and the predators. So, I think he's glad to be here.