26 Things the Movies have taught us

a friend | 9-29-2001

[cornelis]

Arrows are removable, unless deadly.

[sonsofliberty2000]

Very important: Let the Wookie win.

Patriot Paradox

[ClearBlueSky]

Except in the original Star Wars films, where the smart-mouthed Solo didn't die- but should have, IMO.

[Dr.Zoidberg]

Always grab the girl and start running with her over your shoulder, if you don't, she will trip over the extremely dense air at her ankles and get you both caught as you stop to help her to her feet.

[Dr.Zoidberg]

Sorry, Aquinasfan I missed your post along a similar line...

Oh well.

[satan]

You forgot African-American judges and Presidents.

[Big Giant Head]

If you're the good guy, prepare for a two-hour epic beating, bruising and whoopin' that you'll have to overcome to beat the bad guys.

Expect bloody noses, facial wounds, dirty grungy clothes, masses of bad guys swarming after you, etc.

Prepare witty lines and funny facial smirks for when encountering an unexpected twenty-seventh attack by yet another entire division of bad guys.

And be prepared to put out when the leading lady, who is always belittling you, comes around and falls in love with you as she cleans that one wound on your shoulder that makes you wince.

[Merdoug]

How about this one: Bullets will never penetrate materials that the hero is hiding behind, be it car doors, walls or wooden tables.

[SFConservative]

multipurpose, thanks for reviving this thread and Cagey, thanks for starting it. Great fun so far.

One observation I've made is that in the USA, all judges are not only required to be African-American, but also female. All judges not meeting that requirement were apparently forced out of the job some years ago.

[glaux]

Nurses always plunge the hypodermic needle in patients arm with force sufficient to drive a ten penney nail.

When working a computer keyboard, moveie stars always type at a rate of 10,000 wpm--and always without errors.

[The KG9 Kid]

Cars that leave the highway at high speed across a dirt field will inevitably explode into flames.

Car accidents on a Los Angeles freeway will always involve a 1970s station wagon that gets airborne and rolls upside down.

[HP8753]

Pump Shotguns can't have a round jacked into the chamber until after the Bad guy,Monster,Alien,or strange sound has been encountered

[Windsong]

In Star Trek (and ESPECIALLY in Next Generation), enemy ships (Romulan/Federation) almost always encounter each other at perpendicular angles. Never at "odd" angles.

[Old Professer]

Steering geometry hasn't changed much in 75 years; suspensions have. We still have the toe-in relationship (parallel tracking of the tires in an axial line), camber angle (tilt toward the center or outside of the sideline of the vehicle of the front tires), and caster angle (the shopping-cart wheel set-back is positive and used on most cars) and finally the kingpin inclination angle (an imaginary line drawn from the top center of a wheel to the outside bottom of the tire at the contact point). When all of these angles and relationships are correct to design specifications, a car should track without correction at the wheel (assuming a flat, level road surface).

[Pilsner]

Hint:

When searching the files of an evil scientist, always go directly to the filing cabinet labled "X." In all of history no evil scientist has ever called his master plan "Project W"

[bicycle thug]

"Nobody makes their first jump" was an important one from 'the Matrix.' Although Cypher's advice to Neo to run if he sees an agent did prove to be unenformed.

Guess he never "freed his mind" enough before getting whacked for being a traitor. ;-)

(Yes I am counting minutes and seconds until the last movie's release on the 5th.)

[multipurpose]

LOL, I'm sorry.

[Burkeman1]

In all films dealing with ancient times-the bad guys have an English accent and the good guys have an American accent.

[Burkeman1]

In any movie in which there is a black butler, maid, chauffer, caddy, or servant- they "know things", SECRET things, that no evil whitey could ever know.

Rip off from the guy who writes for the Sierra Times.