Posted on 04/09/2018 4:57:45 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I was not, I was stating fact. I am not African-American and I am not living in those communities.
Legally and morally you are correct. But the first time the child wants to blackmail the parents, that is what will come out of his/her mouth.
Whoa... what did race have to do with this posting!!!???
I was speaking to your notion of you wanting to try to interfere with any of your family members being pregnant out of wed lock should they wish to give the baby up; as you stated you didn’t want the babies to be brought up in an unknown faith.
The girl in the posting went thru a Christ based agency and the child was given to a Christian couple. You came off judging the girl for doing that.
If your family’s tradition is to try to keep such unplanned “pregnancies” within the family to ensure the child is raised within a good faith structure well that is great! Yet there was no wrong in what this girl did, going thru a well regarded Christian agency and having ongoing assurances that the child remains in good hands!
I haven’t seen any evidence of a “stain” of illegitamacy. From what I’ve read it has to do with how individuals meet the needs of the child. Some years ago, one of the surprising findings of a meta-study of child rearing was how effective religious based orphanages were in raising children. Secular orphanges didn’t show the same results.
I adopted through a Christian agency many years ago. I do not recall needing a letter of reference from my Pastor or really any proof that we were practicing Christians at the time.
My son did (they were actually married for a while but neither one were capable of caring for themselves let alone a child). DH and I would have it no other way. I will say having a 5 year old in your mid fifties is quite the experience!
DH and I have adopted our granddaughter. We are legally mommy and daddy and thats what she calls us. I expect no less an outcome with her than if she was adopted by any other 2 people. In fact I think it will be better she is surrounded by our other loving children and an extended family that adore her.
***I don’t hate them, but I have absolutely zero desire to ever have to care for one.***
Just wow. Some people do not realize how mistaken they are. Taking care of a baby is one of life’s greatest joys. It is both an honor and a privilege.
Very few states have any grandparents rights. Even with my former daughter in law being a proven drug addict and felon who was homeless and moving in with a different drug dealer every few weeks it was a long and expensive legal process to get custody. Adoption was equally long and expensive. I would do it again tomorrow
“Just wow. Some people do not realize how mistaken they are. Taking care of a baby is one of lifes greatest joys. It is both an honor and a privilege.”
—
Sure,but if a person doesn’t want one they shouldn’t have one.
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My reply was to post 27, discussing what was happening in African-American communities.
As for the girl, keeping in touch with the child and family will bring serious conflicts in the child’s mind.
And I said nothing of interfering. I would hope that my daughters would allow us the blessing of helping to raise or raising the child. But being adults, they will make whatever choice they want to. If they are a minor, it is not interfering, it is being a responsible parent.
And I was talking about my family, not the person in the story. I do not know exactly what adoption agency they went through, nor do I really need to. The statement was only about what I would do.
what article?
Uh, this article posted above, in which she is quoted telling her story.
So what? All kids do that. My brothers and I used to seriously wonder whether we were adopted when our biological parents did something we didn't like. Bottom line, they are the parents and they will need to put up with teenage angst just like every other parent.
Just wow. Some people do not realize how mistaken they are.
On what basis do you conclude that I would enjoy taking care of a baby? Let me assure you, I know myself pretty well...and I haven't the slightest yearning to be responsible for a baby for an afternoon, let alone for years.
Not having children lets me devote my time and money to myself...and I like it that way.
Not everyone is cut out to be a parent.
Taking care of a baby is one of lifes greatest joys. It is both an honor and a privilege.
Thankfully, I'm in a position where I can take your word for it.
Thank you!
Just think how irresponsible it would be for someone who (like myself) has no paternal feelings whatsoever to have children.
Yes, I know!
Regards,
Yes, I realize there are some people who shouldn’t even be allowed near chldren, let alone raise them. Self-centeredness at its finest, if you ask me. Plenty of those folks also want to preach to those who do spend their time nurturing children on exactly how to do it to fit their preconceived notions of what good parenting looks like.
When my then fiancé got pregnant, I was 19 and she was 17. We told both of our parents we wanted to get married.
They supported us in that decision, and in January we celebrated 50 years of marriage.
There are single unmarried women who adopt children.
I don't think it's a good idea. A child needs a mother and father and a stable, loving household.
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