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Cops Called on Parents Whose Autistic 5-Year-Old Son's Hair Was Too Messy
Reason ^ | Feb. 12, 2018 | Lenore Skenazy

Posted on 02/12/2018 11:31:54 AM PST by nickcarraway

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To: Kozak

I have a daughter who has a brain injury. She was 5 before she could talk. When she first started talking we gave her whatever she asked for.

Well, that just couldn’t be sustained and she had a meltdown when I said no to getting her a sida. I disn’t have money for it.


41 posted on 02/12/2018 12:12:57 PM PST by luckystarmom
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To: robroys woman

It says women are destroying western civilization..


42 posted on 02/12/2018 12:13:30 PM PST by riri
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To: Yaelle
Asians lose face very quickly. We were at a restaurant with our friend who is married to a Japanese woman and we watched her kid have a meltdown (spoiled, not autistic). I sympathetically patted her on the back and I truly thought she'd commit harikari in front of me. Never again after watching her hysterical embarrassment!

So glad your son has grown up to be a healthy person. God bless.

43 posted on 02/12/2018 12:15:25 PM PST by miss marmelstein
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To: Kozak

I have a severely autistic, non-verbal, self-injurious, 8-year-old daughter, and face many of the same issues.

Once, a young girl, probably about 12 years old, modeled for me what I think every ADULT should do when they see a parent in public with a child like this, and they have some concerns.

She didn’t call the police, she didn’t stay at a distance and give me a dirty look. She came over and talked to me and asked questions like - “Is she your daughter” and asked my daughter “Are you okay”?

Another great example was in a supermarket during a meltdown at an auto checkout and someone came over and offered to bag my groceries while I got her under control.

So yes, there are much better things to do then call the police ... it’s called getting involved personally and being a good neighbor, asking questions directly if you’re concerned and then offering help if you can, as these two Good Samaritans did.

It’d be a much better world all around if folks could follow those examples in situations like the one described in this post. For example, one could have walked over and said something like - “Pardon me, I’m just concerned about your child, is everything okay?” And then upon hearing about his condition, one could make a more informed decision as to whether any outside authorities needed to be involved.

Sure, one encounter with the police may not seem that troublesome - but just think about the added stress to these families caused by multiple such encounters that occur simply because they choose (as they should) to NOT cloister their special child in their homes, but try to help them learn to engage in public by bringing them to shops and parks, etc. So I implore everyone reading this to think about that before taking the easy way out by calling the police every time over the slightest concerns in these situations.


44 posted on 02/12/2018 12:15:38 PM PST by zencycler
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To: matthew fuller

For heaven’s sake,ONE busybody doesn’t make an entire city a s-—hole.

.


45 posted on 02/12/2018 12:17:19 PM PST by Mears
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To: nickcarraway

They are lucky they got nice cops. I’ve read so many horror stories that started just like this.

Between the busibody caller, the dispatcher who may or may not be an idiot, to the cops who may or may not be idiots or juiced on steroids, distortions occur that can lead to tragedy. Maybe we will soon be able to text pics/video to 911. I wonder if that would help.


46 posted on 02/12/2018 12:17:35 PM PST by Forgotten Amendments
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To: miss marmelstein

“You’d call the police if you saw someone wearing a coat on a hot day?”

Like Klebold and Harriss?


47 posted on 02/12/2018 12:18:53 PM PST by AppyPappy (Don't mistake your dorm political discussions with the desires of the nation)
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To: Yaelle

My quote “normal” twin had a meltdown when she was 6. Her special needs sister wasn’t feeling well and we had to leave a skating party early.

She was seaming and yelling and throwing things in the car.

I pulled into a McDonald’s Parking lot and told her to get out of the car.

I wouldn’t let her back in while she was screaming.

A guy saw this and starting yelling that he was going to call the cops for child abuse for me.

Then he noticed my other daughter in the car.

The one that was screaming shut up quickly and hot in the car when he started coming over.

She never behaved poorly in public again. She’s 21 and remembers it. She’ll admit that she was terrible.


48 posted on 02/12/2018 12:22:52 PM PST by luckystarmom
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To: nickcarraway

After 26 years of marriage, I’m still smiling....


49 posted on 02/12/2018 12:23:32 PM PST by trebb (I stopped picking on the mentally ill hypocrites who pose as conservatives...;-})
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To: riri

It says women are destroying western civilization..


Some are trying...


50 posted on 02/12/2018 12:28:45 PM PST by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm male.)
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To: Kozak

“I think the parents here are way too sensative..”

Here is the problem, if your kid is a paraplegic, it’s obvious to everyone who sees him what “his problem” is.

No so for kids with autism (kids ‘on the spectrum’).

Ponder these:
- dealing with the fact that family & friends can no longer “put up with” your son’s emotional outbursts at a restaurant or other family event.
- wouldn’t it be nice if your family could all go to church together?
- wouldn’t it be nice if you could have a baby-sitter who didn’t mind getting beat-up by your son, or one who didn’t mind when your son breaks their things, or pees on the floor when the sitter is around.
- etc. etc.

But yeah, we tend to be sensitive to “the looks”.

Let me know when you’ve walked a mile in shoes like ours...


51 posted on 02/12/2018 12:30:07 PM PST by jonno (Having an opinion is not the same as having the answer...)
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To: nickcarraway

Mixed feelings...glad that some people care, but not happy at the conclusions sometimes jumped to.


52 posted on 02/12/2018 12:30:40 PM PST by JimRed ( TERM LIMITS, NOW! Build the Wall Faster! TRUTH is the new HATE SPEECH.)
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To: Kozak
So strangers should just ignore kids who look like they may be mistreated because, maybe, just maybe they might be autistic.

Sorry I think the parents here are way too sensative..


Messy hair is not a reason to call the cops. Whoever the busybodies were that called the cops, they could have walked over to the parents and asked if everything was okay and said they were concerned about the hair (or whatever the issue is) - many parents of autistic kids will give a satisfactory explanation.

Those parents are not too sensitive - they are probably very aware that if you get a cop who is having a bad day, he can escalate a situation to the point where CPS is involved and that child is removed from the parents and is traumatized. Those parents were extremely lucky to get the cops they did.

I was blessed with three very healthy children, and was not aware of the whole autistic thing outside of the Rainman movie, until my niece had a son who is autistic.

The first time I witnessed a meltdown of my grand-nephew, I was caught off guard. It was in a store, it happened so fast, I'm not sure what caused it. The amount of patience and understanding I witnessed in my niece was stunning.

I began to realize that while parents of other kids can think about what's going on a week, a month, a year down the road, parents of autistic kids are sometimes praying to just get through a single day without any serious issues.

When my grandnephew had that meltdown, I recognized the glares and stares that other people made towards my niece.

It was the same look I've had on my face at various times in my life, when I witnessed a kid screaming in a store or thrashing about in the arms of a parent taking them out of a store. More than once I muttered under my breath that the kid just needed a good spanking. Not a very Christian thing to do - the parents did not deserve me glaring at them - they did not ask for that situation to happen.

While I'm sure some of those kids were being raised poorly and/or were spoiled, I wish now that I could go back to those parents of autistic kids, apologize for glaring, and ask them if they needed any help, and tell them that I'll say a prayer for them.
53 posted on 02/12/2018 12:31:05 PM PST by af_vet_rr
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To: miss marmelstein
You’d call the police if you saw someone wearing a coat on a hot day?

If you wait until you hear the "Allhu Akbar" BOOM, you've waited too long!

54 posted on 02/12/2018 12:36:31 PM PST by JimRed ( TERM LIMITS, NOW! Build the Wall Faster! TRUTH is the new HATE SPEECH.)
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To: miss marmelstein

Couldn’t agree with you more. I have an autistic nephew and every time some idiot says they are just spoiled or parents are just milking the system for some more money or extra attention it makes me angry. These people obviously have never had to deal w/autism. Much less 24/7/365. I wish all those people would spend just a day with one autistic kid. They would at least stop posting such nonsense.


55 posted on 02/12/2018 12:37:43 PM PST by 1malumprohibitum
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To: nickcarraway

He would be cared for in the Netherlands.....

Send him there...


56 posted on 02/12/2018 12:41:00 PM PST by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me - https://www.youtube.cwom/watch?v=wH-pk2vZG2M5)
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To: robroys woman
Some are trying...

Unfortunately, I don't even think, for one minute, they think they are having a detrimental impact.

They think they are #bossb*tches, "women on the rise" and you are just intimidated by a strong woman and all the other BS they repeat.

I literally saw a crew of them in Walmart this morning having a serious committee meeting in the snack aisle. Serious as heart attacks about whatever irrelevant decision they were making.

57 posted on 02/12/2018 12:43:25 PM PST by riri
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To: riri

They think they are #bossb*tches, “women on the rise” and you are just intimidated by a strong woman and all the other BS they repeat.


Well, I think they are cute, and tell them so. ;)

But I don’t suffer misandry, and I tell them so.


58 posted on 02/12/2018 12:46:55 PM PST by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm male.)
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To: nickcarraway
When my son was four or five Band-Aids with Scoobie on them came out and he'd stick them on for decoration. One time in a Books-A-Million (damn I miss them) a Police officer approached me from behind and said, "Excuse me sir". I turned around and it was a city police I had worked with.

The officer looked shocked and said, "Um, we got a call that someone was here with a battered child and you were pointed out". Well, we went to the Kids section and I introduced him to my Scoobie covered son. It was obvious to the officer that the Band-Aids weren't covering injuries since a couple of them had come loose and been stuck on again at a different angle or were just in a row down his arm, etc.

He actually got ticked off because he knew I had pushed the issue about abused kids once when a foster care family was involved and it led to three people going to jail after seven current and former foster care kids testified about being abused (there were more but they were either very young or didn't want to testify).

People can make honest mistakes like when they see a black eye and a cut on a child's face, multiple bruises on both arms when the kid plays football or wrestles which often leads to bruising on young kids, is into BS Kung Fu fights (that was a fad for a while leading to many broken bones and nasty looking injuries from kicks to the face), etc. But a four year old covered in Scoobie Band-Aids and a child with messy hair are instances of someone trying too hard to be 'concerned' (in my experience to impress whoever they're with) and sucking up the time of officers who could be doing something more useful.

JMHo

59 posted on 02/12/2018 12:48:54 PM PST by Rashputin (Jesus Christ doesn't evacuate His troops, He leads them to victory !!)
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To: robroys woman
Well, I think they are cute, and tell them so. ;)

You should probably stop that.

Five years from now, you'll be shocked to find out you were engaging in "inappropriate conduct". (:

60 posted on 02/12/2018 12:49:47 PM PST by riri
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