Posted on 09/08/2013 9:34:56 AM PDT by Dave346
I do kinda like the Perfessional Rasslin’ idea. Before every match you could have a three-minute ring speech, judged on the basis of grandiloquence, chest-pounding, and spittle-throwing. I’m guessing that might throw the advantage to some of the Muslim countries, though.
IOC is dominated by Europeans. That’s why baseball was voted out even though it is popular in North and South America and East Asia.
To my way of thinking there are really only three sports: baseball, basketball, and football. Everything else is either a game or an activity.
Hockey comes to mind. People think hockey is a sport. It’s not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the ...t out of somebody. If these guys had more brains then teeth, they’d do these things one at a time. First go ice-skating, then fool around with a puck, then you go to the bar and beat the ...t out of somebody. The day would last longer, and these guys would have a lot more fun. Another reason why hockey isn’t a sport is that it’s not played with a ball. Anything not played with a ball can’t be a sport. These are my rules, I make ‘em up.
Soccer. Soccer is not a sport because you can’t use your arms. Anything where you can’t use your arms can’t be a sport. Tap dancing isn’t a sport. I rest my case.
Running. People think running is a sport. Running isn’t a sport because anybody can do it. I can run, you can run. For Christ sakes, my mother can run! You don’t see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?
Swimming. Swimming isn’t a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense. Sailing isn’t a sport. Sailing is a way to get somewhere. Riding the bus isn’t a sport, why should sailing be a sport?
Boxing is not a sport either. Boxing is a way to beat the s... out of somebody. In that respect, boxing is actually a more sophisticated way of hockey. In spite of what the police tell you, beating the s... out of somebody is not a sport. When police brutality becomes an Olympic event, fine, then boxing can be a sport.
Bowling. Bowling isn’t a sport because you have to rent shoes. Don’t forget, these are my rules. I make ‘em up.
Billiards. Some people think billiards is a sport, but it can’t be, because there’s no chance of serious injury. Unless, of course, you welch on a bet in a tough neighborhood. Then, if you wind up with a pool cue stickin’ out of your ass, you know you might be the victim of a sports-related injury. But that ain’t billiards, that’s pool, and that starts with a P, and that rhymes with D, and that brings me to darts.
Darts could have been a sport, because at least there’s a chance to put someone’s eye out. But, alas, darts will never be a sport, because the whole object of the game is to reach zero, which goes against all sports logic.
Lacrosse is not a sport; lacrosse is a faggoty college activity. I don’t care how rough it is, anytime you’re running around a field, waving a stick with a little net on the end of it, you’re engaged in a faggoty college activity. Period.
Field hockey and fencing. Same thing. Faggoty college s.... Also these activities aren’t sports, because you can’t gamble on them. Anything you can’t gamble on can’t be a sport. When was the last time you made a fencing bet?
Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it. It took me a long time to come up with that rule, but dammit, I did it.
Polo isn’t a sport. Polo is golf on horseback. Without holes. It’s a great concept, but not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to even mention it, because it’s extremely cruel to horses.
Which brings me to hunting. You think hunting is a sport? Ask the deer. The only good thing about hunting is the many fatal accidents on the weekends. And, of course, the permanently disfigured hunters who survive such accidents.
Then you have tennis. Tennis is very trendy and very fruity, but it’s not a sport. It’s just a way to meet other trendy fruits. Technically, tennis is an advanced form a Ping-Pong. In fact, tennis is Ping-Pong played while standing on the table. Great concept, not a sport.
In fact, all racket games are nothing more the derivatives of Ping-Pong. Even volleyball is, technically, racketless, team Ping-Pong played with an inflated ball and raised net while standing on the table.
And finally welcome to golf. For my full take on golf, I refer you elsewhere in the book, but let it just be said golf is a game that might possibly be fun, if it could be played alone. But it’s the vacuous, striving, superficial, male-bonding joiners one has to associate with that makes it such a repulsive pastime. And it is decidedly not a sport. Period.
-George Carlin (although he went too far with the Golf one)
IOC is dominated by Europeans. That’s why baseball was voted out even though it is popular in North and South America and East Asia.
Wrestler and a supporter.
I could make an argument that dressage deserves an unquestioned place as well. Training to utter mastery of your horse was one of the things that could make or break a horse-warrior of many cultures, from Mongols to European knights to some of the Plains Indians tribes such as the Apache.
Even if modern dressage is rather silly and froufrou these days, the bond and mastery of the horse are showcased.
Don’t forget table tennis, BMX biking, and team handball. I honestly don’t know if any of these are exhibition sports or full medal events. Personally I would get rid of boxing before wrestling. Boxing has been destroyed over the last few decades with corruption and judging irregularities.
Making a solid case for its modernity despite being a core sport of the ancient Olympics, wrestling saved its place on the Summer Games program Sunday... It took just one round of voting by International Olympic Committee... Wrestling got 49 votes to 24 for baseball / softball and 22 for squash.
Yet Team Handball(European) also survived along with Rhythmic Pole Dancing.. Err I mean Rhythmic Gymnastics.
That is Great Great News. I was simply going to boycott the Olympics forever over this.
The first thing that needs to happen is to get the International Wrestling Foundation (FILA) out of France. Really out of Europe for that matter. At least they got rid of the previous president.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGearEu2PlU
Remember that this is a martial art. If you can’t see what’s happening, the slow-mo replay should help.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgJy92YFWDw
Note that Lei acknowledges to the referee that the first point is against him—in an Olympic gold medal bout.
Gentlemanly.
Most people’s reflexes are in the 1/10th of a second range. A fencer’s is in the 1/32nd of a second range.
The fastest moving object at the Olympics is the marksman’s bullet. The second fastest is the tip of a fencing sword.
I’ve talked to past high level wrestlers and they all have very negative things to say about FILA.
A lot of folks seem to have forgotten the Olympics are first and foremost a contest of the noble arts of war in their many forms.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
