Posted on 06/30/2009 9:30:53 AM PDT by Maelstorm
It appears you’re doing things together as a family as well as individual attention. That’s great, and as you say, more families should do such things.
I guess my problem has been knowing this family could do the same (perhaps not to extent you do but they could find things to do as a family when time permits) but don’t make the attempt. Then, when an idea comes along, it’s limited to one sibling at the apparent (self-inflicted?) expense of the others.
I was an only child so never had such issues growing up. But I have no doubt that my parents would have treated all of us the same. Not to say that if I had a sibling, one of us or the other wouldn’t have ‘special’ time with dad or mom occasionally. But that wouldn’t be a big deal because we’d know that it would even out, and there’d always be the family ‘thing’ to rely on. That isn’t the case here, and I think the dad’s attention to who’s apparently his favorite has left marks.
I have a friend who works for DOJ in the child exploitation/obscenity division and he says that the idea of "prison justice" is mostly a myth. The reason some molestors get targetted is because they tend to be weak white guys with no gang connections. A lot of the people trafficking in kids and/or child porn are connected to organized crimed (especially Russian organized crime), so they tend to be left alone.
Criminals are scum- the idea that they will dispense justice in prison isn't really based in reality.
I recall traveling with my father on a school day to see a football game.....some people were obviously staring at us and talking about us.....my father said we were leaving right then.....it went totally over my head. After reading this, I now understand.
Free Republic isn’t a court of law - it’s the court of public opinion.
We often get questions or comments when we’re out on weekdays, but the kids just smile beatifically and say, “We’re homeschooled!” I can’t think of anything we do - including trips to Wal-mart - that the schools don’t do as “educational” trips.
Wow!
Look at the photo ... he is definitely a ‘pretty boy’....
When my daughter goes off to college, she turns to me and says, “Daddy, let’s saddle up the motorcycle and ride across the country”, I will joyfully go and spend time with her, before letting her go. Anybody who wants to sneer at me for it had better not do so where I can hear them.
That’s fine. And I suggest you read my down-thread posts to understand the “rest of the story”.
In regard to that, would you not do the same for your other children if it’s possible? This trip had nothing to do with going to school, or focused on an interest this one youth had. He and she went, leaving the rest of the family home (and not very happy, either). Don’t we as fathers need to weigh things regarding family welfare when making decisions? Doncha think the other girls would have enjoyed a trip to the West Coast? Somewhere they’ve never been? Doncha think that would be kinda neat, especially considering they seldom do such things separately, or as a family? Doncha?
Well, obviously I
Don’t know the particulars of this family. But I do think that, absent criminal abuse, it really is nobody else’s business.
Making it one's business would be involving (or should I say intruding) oneself with the family. That's not what I'm doing. I'm bringing this up to others to get a better understanding of my feelings about an issue that was brought to my attention, and made me begin to wonder about things.
There's a lot of that that goes on on this forum. Look on almost any thread and you'll find judgmental statements about someone; whether they are well known or not. And many of those threads don't involve criminal abuse. Yet it happens daily. Is that all wrong?
So, no, this isn't any of our business, nor do I intend to make it mine. But I do wonder about the proper course to take in things when issues are brought to my attention, and I have no compunction over expressing my mental wanderings.
Try to be open to the possibility that the parents are intelligent, and doing what is in the best interests of all their children.
Woo Woo
This line of thinking is.. I first typed ‘unfortunate’, but that doesn’t cover it at all.
This line of thinking is _devastating_ our conceptions of normal human relationships. Every story like this comes chips away at a very crucial element of human relationships: non-sexual intimacy.
Whether it is between father and daughter, brother and brother, friend and friend, people who have close relationships with anyone are increasingly subject to the suspicion that that relationship is sexual.
The end result will be a society of people who cannot form any true bonds with anyone outside a socially sanctioned sexual relationship. Not only would that be a horrible thing in the eyes of our ancestors, it would serve, in my opinion, to evicerate a critical aspect of humanity itself.
I don’t know who to blame for this phenomenon. As in most cases, there is plenty to go around, I suspect.
Some wimmins are "Beautiful when they're angry" (Megyn Kelly immediately comes to mind), but some others let all their ugliness out when they're pissed......(and Nancy Grace comes to mind....that pigsnout she sports begins to go Waxman)
sex should only ever be between two consenting adults.
Anyone who breaks this simpel rule should be punished severely.
oh yeah! It’s happened to my dad too!
We just call him DAD really loud.
Other kids ALWAYS get their nose bent out of shape.
Like I always say to my own...”who told you life is fair?”
They each get their turn eventually and if they get resentful they just have to deal with it.
Sounds to me like you’ve got a nosy neighbor that ought to worry about his/her own house.
Unless there is reason to suspect abuse (good reason) people are better off when they mind their own business.
yes - I think if I allowed one child’s resentment to dictate what I do or don’t do for another child then I’ve given into emotional manipulation.
There’s no reason to suspect abuse. Absolutely none. And I don’t agree with those neighbors at all. It’s just that their bringing it up, as sordid as it is, got me wondering about the trip in terms of its affect on the family as a whole.
As I’ve said, I’ve no problem with fathers, daughters, sons taking trips. But I’ve also tried to look at it in the context of the whole family relationship. I’ve released more than I’d hoped to when I revealed that the other daughters were upset. I hadn’t intended to go that far, but it’s a fact. And that also prompted my questions.
While I agree that kids can be resentful, and that life isn’t fair, looking at the context of the family dynamics I wondered whether all would come into their own. I’m not being judgmental toward this family, but trying to put this in the broader sense of family bonding and how it should work. What they do is their own business, but for my own edification, I want to have a personal sense of proper family interaction. And that helps when confronting neighbors such as those we have...
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