Posted on 09/05/2008 8:22:17 AM PDT by TSchmereL
Sarah Palin does not have 5 kids, she actually has 7. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Chuck Norris, and Jack Bauer.
The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eyes.
The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.
Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.
Sarah Palin is so pro-life that she personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.
It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.
Sarah Palin is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.
Sarah Palin’s presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.
Sarah Palin fired Jack Bauer because he was too soft in dealing with terrorists.
Sarah Palin’s pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.
Sarah Palin’s son Track is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.
Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone.
(X-Men reference)
Sarah Palin actually has Big Foot in her freezer.
Sarah Palin gave a speech in Texas after her water broke before flying home to Alaska to give birth. (Actually true)
Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
Sarah Palin once spilled coffee on Joe Biden & one of his $400 ties from Pink.
Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.
Sarah Palin will personally open a homemade can of whoopa** on Ahmadinejad, Putin, and Chavez as soon as she’s done making mooseburgers for her kids.
A grizzly bear once tried to stare down Sarah Palin. Once.
Sarah Palin will send Joe Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.
Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.
Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines. (Terminator reference)
Three of Sarah Palin’s 5 kids came out sideways and she never flinched.
Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Generally with her bare hands.
Sarah Palin was the original “Deadliest Catch.”
Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for Kodiak bear pelts with a slingshot.
Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.
Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.
Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.
Sarah Palin killed and ate the Grizzly Man.
Sarah Palin killed and ate Frank Murkowski.
Sarah Palin once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.
Sarah Palin wears half the makeup that John Edwards wears and still looks like twice the woman that he does.
Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.
Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.
Barama IS the unvetted candidate
Unfortunately, Bush's appointees on the FCC never are interested in punishing the Drive Bys for this kind of stuff.
That's what I want to know. I've been afraid to ask, but surely so staunch a conservative will be against illegal immigration. She may not have had to deal with it much in Alaska, of course.
I don't know how much, if any, influence she'll have with McCain on the issue. I'm certain he's going to push hard for amnesty and continued open borders (with, I expect, some window dressing about entry procedures). In addition to believing in it himself, he's going to want to punish all of us who nearly derailed his campaign over the issue last year.
CNN is saying Biden will be coming up about 2 O’clock in Langhard(?), Pennsylvania, get ready to re-zero the gaff clock
I want Rush to discuss how the left treats women, and why it is being run by a bunch of young black and white guys—who think ANY MAN is better than a qualified woman.
The cliche of ‘old white guys’ keeping women down, and holding them back, has now officially been disproved.
The party of ‘change’, the party of progressive thinkers, would rather elect an unqualifed man than a qualifed woman (Hillary Clinton) and will stop at nothing to smear any other female candidates on both sides.
Let them have it, Rush!
“I don’t think she’s said anything on the issue.”
Thanks, If anybody has anything on the record before last Friday I would be interested.
I wanted to bayonet that Biotch!
Couldn't agree more. What a damn shame.
They better not handle her at all or their liable to draw back a bloody nub.
Oh, I know it. But how about the bloody USSS?! Earth to the freaking Secret Service...
That sounds a little severe... ;)
McCain: “I don’t work for a party.” We know, Senator, and that’s one of the reasons you’re going to be a one-term president. Me, I’m voting for your running mate.
I heard that MSNBC was being referred to at the convention as “msDNC” by many attendees.
I am with McCain if he through the big government spending Republicans under the bus
Rush sounds impressed
Obama wrote two autobiographies before he even had a life to write about.
This page seems to document a little success using a product called Orb which I know nothing about :)
Good luck!
Stand up! Stand up and fight!
"Sarah Challenges Hillary to a Dual" (a gun dual, for those in Riolinda! ;)
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