Test-Tube Orphans (Children Struggle to Deal With Consequences of IVF Conceptions)

NCR ^ | August 31- September 6, 2008 | CELESTE MCGOVERN

[NYer]

“A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift,” according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. “The ‘supreme gift of marriage’ is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which alleged ‘right to a child’ would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right ‘to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his [her] parents,’ and ‘the right to be respected as a person from the moment of conception’” (No. 2378).

Catholic Ping
Please freepmail me if you want on/off this list

[NYer]

Ping!

[diamond6]

bttt

[pillut48]

“A child’s most fundamental human right is to be conceived with a natural biological heritage,” said Somerville. “Children have the right to be conceived with the untampered, natural sperm of one identified, adult living man and the natural ovum of one adult living woman.”

I'm guessing this is aimed at the Catholic community here, but the title didn't say Catholics only, so I just wanted to make a quick comment because this kind of prejudice toward all IVF children is a pet peeve of mine. All well and good if you can reproduce without any help to have a family, but not everyone on this planet is perfect in their bodies and have problems that prevent them from having a family naturally--[waves my hand to show I'm in that unlucky population]--and through ARTS technology, God has given me my beloved children. They are NOT 'tampered with, unnatural beings' by any means-God has blessed us with these 3 children and I will never be convinced that He in His infinite wisdom does not have special plans for them, since their miraculous existences come from Him alone. :*) BTW, since the author implies that infertile couples do not have a 'right' to have a child, does that mean ALL couples do not have a right to have a child? That it's simply the luck of the draw? There's so many stories of infertility being conquered in the Bible, not to mention Jesus' miraculous conception :*) which did not involve parental physical union (does that make adoptive father Joseph unimportant in the whole story?), I find it hard to believe that God would provide humanity with the science and technology to help infertile couples achieve what He commanded in Genesis ("Go forth and multiply")...as far as the donor situation is concerned, yes, there are many ethical questions to consider and steps should be definitely taken to help improve the whole situation so that those who are involved can determine in advance that they aren't genetically connected in case they want to marry, etc. But it is really aggravating to see ALL infertile couples lumped into that category as well. My husband and I have been married 14 years next week and through the help of ARTS have finally completed our family this past July when I gave birth to boy/girl twins. No one can ever convince me that God did not intend for these lives to be, since He is the Author of Creation and the only One who can create live. :*) Okey dokey, zipping up my mouth and throwing away the key now because I know this is a subject I can NEVER EVER EVER agree with the Church on, but I feel moved by the Spirit to add the above comments. If you are offended I'm sorry, please don't fill my mailbox with hate mail over my opinions! (Yes, that's happened in the past, and it still hurts to remember that someone told me my first daughter did not have a 'real' soul because she'd been conceived with the help of IVF.) :-(

[Cate]

I think your babies are blessed to have you for a parent :)

[jalisco555]

My triplet nieces, just shy of 18, were conceived via IVF and are a blessing and a joy to everyone who knows them.

[NYer]

Thank you for your frank and honest response.

All well and good if you can reproduce without any help to have a family, but not everyone on this planet is perfect in their bodies and have problems that prevent them from having a family naturally--[waves my hand to show I'm in that unlucky population

Ditto! There are a great number of infertile couples in this country and around the globe. Like you, we wrestled with how to address the pain of infertility. Ultimately, we turned to adoption. The reasoning being that these children were already born and in need of a loving home.

I find it hard to believe that God would provide humanity with the science and technology to help infertile couples achieve what He commanded in Genesis ("Go forth and multiply")...

God gave us brains and intelligence but He also gave us wisdom and faith to distinguish between right and wrong. Several years ago, a team of British infertility experts developed the means to harvest eggs from aborted girls. They viewed this as 'progress' in the arena of assisting infertile couples. A group of psychologists intervened, however, and pointed out the obvious flaw in their solution: the impact of the child learning that her mother had never been born.

Your children are being raised in a loving family. God has blessed them with you! Perhaps the day will never come but as they grow older, one or another may inquire as to their biological parents. This is true with adopted children. They have a need to know what they genetically inherited. There is also a natural curiosity to see "who they look like". A few years ago, a young girl and her mother appeared on the Good Morning America show. The young girl had tracked down her sperm donor father and was now going to meet him, on live tv! She blushed as the large monitor focused on a handsome man, his wife and two boys. The young girl learned that she had inherited her 'big feet' from her 'Dad', along with a few other things as well. She was thrilled to know that she also had 2 half brothers. And then the show host asked the big question: How many other children had he fathered. The man's face lit up with pride. According to the agency, he had fathered close to 100 children. The camera panned to the young girl's face. The big smile collapsed immediately as the realization of that statement sank in.

While you may not agree with the teachings of the Catholic Church, they are established to provide sanctity to human life from conception to natural death.

“Though it is true that sometimes it is lawful to tolerate a lesser moral evil in order to avoid a greater evil or in order to promote a greater good," it is never lawful, even for the gravest reasons, to do evil that good may come of it (18)—in other words, to intend directly something which of its very nature contradicts the moral order, and which must therefore be judged unworthy of man, even though the intention is to protect or promote the welfare of an individual, of a family or of society in general.”

HUMANAE VITAE

[MeanWestTexan]

The title is a bit misleading.

The problem at issue here is not IVF (which is generally done with a husband’s sperm and the wife’s eggs), but when so-called “donor” sperm or egg is used.

[MeanWestTexan]

It’s just basic luddism.

Extending the same logic against “tampering,” people shouldn’t use anti-biotics.

[dmz]

it still hurts to remember that someone told me my first daughter did not have a 'real' soul because she'd been conceived with the help of IVF.) :-(

And that person attempted to pass themselves off as a Christian? I think you can be fairly certain that the individual who said that to you will be a bit surprised at his/her reception at the Pearly Gates, as the sign will read "No admittance". Probably won't get any soup from the soup Nazi, either.

NEXT!

[hulagirl]

Here’s my take on it, and I have two adopted children. I honestly don’t understand why one would ever have to tell these sperm donor children ANYTHING about how they were conceived! After all, they are at least 1/2 of the couples’ genes, and knowing that stuff will just mess you up! If my kids weren’t 1/2 black and 1/2 japanese respectively, I would vote for not telling them they’re adopted at all. It definitely messes w/their minds, I have seen this firsthand. If the kid looks remotely like you, zip it! For their sakes!! Whether it’s morally right to use sperm donors, is “above my pay grade” (sorry, had to use it :-) ) It’s all quite complicated and I can see the wisdom of the church on it (I’m not catholic) , but also the desire to have children.

[hulagirl]

Here’s my take on it, and I have two adopted children. I honestly don’t understand why one would ever have to tell these sperm donor children ANYTHING about how they were conceived! After all, they are at least 1/2 of the couples’ genes, and knowing that stuff will just mess you up! If my kids weren’t 1/2 black and 1/2 japanese respectively, I would vote for not telling them they’re adopted at all. It definitely messes w/their minds, I have seen this firsthand. If the kid looks remotely like you, zip it! For their sakes!! Whether it’s morally right to use sperm donors, is “above my pay grade” (sorry, had to use it :-) ) It’s all quite complicated and I can see the wisdom of the church on it (I’m not catholic) , but also the desire to have children.

[NYer]

If the kid looks remotely like you, zip it! For their sakes!!

For their sakes? You mean, for your own. That is morally wrong - worse yet, it is a deceptive lie. Not only am I an adoptive parent, I am also adopted. If you can't trust your parents, how can you trust? Adoptive children have a right to know the medical history of their biological parents. This is especially true in order to understand what illnesses they may have inherited.

[pillut48]

one or another may inquire as to their biological parents

We are the biological parents! Part of my pet peeve--there's a lot of ignorance as far as exactly what IVF is. Just because an infertile couple needed help doesn't mean they had to go to donor sperm or eggs. I have tubal damage from endometriosis, but everything else worked fine, the embryo/s just couldn't travel to the uterus for implantation. IVF bypassed that and the result for us was 3 beautiful babies. :*)

[pillut48]

Thank you!

[pillut48]

“You will know them by their fruits...”-Matthew 7:16

[hulagirl]

Certainly, if there are illnesses involved, they would need to know, at a time when they could handle it. It certainly wouldn’t be for “my” sake, what would I have to gain? Knowing they were given up at birth loads children with too much baggage. I’m not saying I’m right, but that is my opinion, and I have experience in it. If a child is a test tube sperm donor baby for some single mom who had to own a human being, then I think that’s wrong to begin with and they’re in for trouble; I know a woman whose child has untold anger for being practically “decanted” w/no known biological OR adoptive father, no father at all.

[allmendream]

Bless you and your wonderful family. Thank you for that post. You said what needed to be said. IVF is as much a part of Gods plan as everything else, and it is a good and noble thing that brings blessed children and fulfills the command to be fruitful and multiply. Bless you and your wonderful family.

[pillut48]

Thank you so much for your kindness. :*) I am not a Catholic Church hater by any means, in fact I agree as a Christian with many of their beliefs, but on this issue it’s no go for me. Years of prayers, begging, pleading and finally acceptance of my condition (I lost 2 documented babies in the first trimester that are buried in the cemetery down the road from me)brought me ever so closer to God, and brought my children into this world. Unlike what some people have tried to tell me, Satan can NOT create life (yep, been told my belief in God’s will in my life was actually Satan in disguise and that the father of lies created my children’s lives) only God is the Creator. I know some people seem to believe that doctors and embryologists create life, but they don’t—IVF is a crapshoot, and if God doesn’t want a pregnancy to happen, it won’t—there’s not a single guarantee in the whole process (a million things must be in place before life begins, another sign of God’s miraculous hand at work) from start to finish! All the glory goes to my Heavenly Father and all my gratitude that He finally let me have my family after so many years of trying, waiting, loss and grief. :*)