Posted on 11/08/2007 8:41:58 AM PST by Lorianne
Works for me!
Hate to admit it but my own child is less than perfect and there have been times I would have liked to give him back. :-) I don’t understand what this mother expected. Children are not puppies.
I’m one of those newbies you may be referring to, but thankfully I’m not stupid enough to think Lorianne is the women mentioned in the article. I saw a link to the story on AOL (great way to find news, right?) and as an adoptee, I found it interesting. The AOL link to the article didn’t work, and someone had posted a link to the discussion on your group in the comment section. I couldn’t post my comments without joining, so here I am. Is there a big issue with new people joining the forum or have you guys had trouble with trolls in the past?
Trolls who would join that day and post on a thread and all swear the ‘victim’ was their long lost brother/sister/mother/father/dog/cat etc....
Also, usually the trolls post once and never join the group and discuss what the others have posted. One slam wonders. Which is the case here. You’re the only one to actually discuss and read the whole thread. So thank you!
Lastly, yeah, the fact that some folks are bashing Lorianne (and being newbies too) makes it a bit rude and “trollish” in their hit and run behavior and ignoring the admins requests.
99.9% of the regulars here know that this is a news site and that what is posted ISN’T about the poster.
Otherwise, we like newbies....so welcome! Stay, have fun!
Thank you for the welcome! I’ll pull up a chair and bring some popcorn and watch the troll’s with you! lol We’ve had trouble with issues as you described on other boards I have posted on in the past. Very entertaining on boring days when my son is in school!
take care,
Ash
take care,
Ash
FYI, one of the legendary trolls of the early days of FR was a poster named ASH, and his appearance always triggered ASH ALERTS!
Just wanted to warn you if the old timers started freaking out on you. (I'm not an old timer, only been here 7 years, plus 3 lurking.)
We're a fun bunch, so enjoy.
In this season of Advent my prayers are for all children who suffer the loss of home and family. May Jesus watch over them and bring joy to their hearts and lives.
Don Morgan and his Ash alterts, that goes way back.
There is not way this poster is our Ash.
I should use spell check. “no way”
“the system fails to inform the future parents of the massive amount of problems of the child they are attempting to dump,,and yes i mean dump,,to get rid of the bill that this particular child is costing the county, as counties only see kids as a dollar amount and how does one get rid of that bill,”
This is tragically true, and it leads to a desperate form of thinking that any parents are good enough for these kids. There has been a series of TV ads aired lately (I don’t know if they’re being shown all over the country or only in my area) that show scenes of stupid, clueless, or obnoxious parents dealing with their children. Then the ad says: “You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent. There are thousands of kids in foster care who would love to put up with you.”
Those ads make me sick to my stomach, because they sum up a lot of what our fellow posters have been outraged about. The implied message is that second rate is good enough for these rejected kids, and they should be damn grateful that anybody takes them in, even if that person is a lousy parent.
Granted, you can have lousy biological parents, too, (believe me, I did), but the difference is that nobody has the responsibility to screen biological parents before they let them take you home. A system with an attitude like this sets people up to fail. And the example that started all this commentary is in Britain, which supposedly has more low-cost services available via its more socialist systems than the USA does. Here, they make you jump through hoops to adopt a baby, but if you’re willing to take an older child they’re more than willing to hand one over.
I could swear I’ve read this story before, about a year ago.
I’m adopted myself and before I got married I wasn’t very close to my adoptive mother who was actually supposed to be my aunt (my birthmother’s sister-in-law). I know my birthmother and am still in contact with her. I feel sorry for the fact Zahnia was dropped off by her mother and I hope she finds someone that can work with her and love her. I think she was jealous of Laura and that’s probably why she did the things she did. Again, I hope all is well for both parties involved.
Sorry, but those who criticize the adoptive mother are just plain wrong. Yes, she’s an adult, but she has emotions, too. I don’t know her, but mightn’t she have had her own anxieties about rejection, which this child exacerbated? Why must it always be the adult’s fault? All children are not just little darlings, and this child was apparently not making things easier for either herself, the woman who took her in, or her new sibling. There is such a thing as natural chemistry, by the way, and it cannot be forced.
As for treating the child as a “pet,” and patronizing her by putting African themed decorations in her room...does no one at least give the woman credit for trying to make the child feel at home? Perhaps she might have asked how the little girl wanted to have her room done, but to insult her intentions seems awfully holier-than-thou to me.
And what about the woman’s own daughter? Funny how all the terribly righteous comments never mentioned the hideous effect that this literal third wheel might have been having on the woman’s own child? To suddenly have your life made miserable by a stranger determined not to fit in? Someone who is taking your mother’s attention away from you, turning your house and your relationship with your own mom around completely, making your life a nightmare? Does it occur to none of the critics that this child’s life was being made miserable by this intruder, and that her mother had her interests to consider as well...and that, in fact, as her natural daughter, her needs, frankly, were of paramount importance to her mother?
If I had to choose between my own beloved daughter, whom I had nurtured and bonded with for 11 years, and her wellbeing and happiness, and an adoptive child who was given a full year’s trial but seemingly never tried to meet her adoptive mother and sister halfway...I know what I’d do, and it would not be to keep the adoptive child.
The road to hell....
She should never have taken on this child except to give her a place to live, to be a friend rather than a mother.
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