How a Kidnapped Boy Readjusts

time.com ^ | 1/19/07 | MICHAEL LINDENBERGER/RICHWOODS

[calex59]

There are many reasons what a young boy would not try to escape if he had the chance. One would be shame if he was molested, which he probably was. The other, and usually a far greater factor, is fear. An 11 yo is easy to intimidate and once intimadated will find it hard to overcome the fear. Another thing to take into account is the Stockholm syndrome that can cause a captive to become used to his/her captors. All of these things, but especially fear, could have caused this child to not try to escape.

Other children have been abducted and have not tried to escape for years, they can't all have liked living with their kidnappers. People who take this stanch without knowing the facts are ignorant asshats IMO.

[keats5]

Let's face it. People in the media are mercilessly trashing both Shawn and his family. They really don't need this right now. It's kind of like spitting in the face of a returning soldier. The family had the choice of letting the victim bashing continue or to use the media to their advantage. Strangely enough, once people actually heard from Shawn, they became more convinced he actually was a victim who is relieved to finally be home with his family.

Shawn and his parents also said they wanted to offer hope to other families like theirs. Letting Shawn decide this for himself could be healing. He hasn't had such freedom for 41/2 years. The parents have been consulting with child advocates and arraigned the interview with perimeters set by the FBI.

Sometimes one well publicized media event is the best way to end gossip and suspicion. I think I would have done the same thing. The parents arraigned some initial interviews, including this one with Oprah, and then put people on notice they were going to be unavailable for awhile after that. They took no money from Oprah.

Let's just give the family the benefit of the doubt. If we really care about Shawn, it's best not to cast aspersions on his parents right now.

[rockinqsranch]

"Better to get out right away and let the media take all the pics they want and then go heal."

Going on the Oprah Winfrey show only benefitted her ratings, and the parents ego's.

A picture session perhaps to get the media campers off the lawn, but to go on National Television was stupid.

[CindyDawg]

Maybe he thought he couldn't go back. Who knows. I would take him out of the media and homeschool him, and finish raising him privately though. IMO he will probably try to run away. It's hard to go from undisciplined to structure. I don't understand this not bringing things up until he talks about it either. I think I would assume the worse and let him know that nothing that might have happened would change me loving him, and if something bad happened he could tell me.

[Guenevere]

I have compassion for the young man...

... putting him on Oprah was unconscionable!

[sine_nomine]

Has Bills' wife left him? The stuff on tape would normally be enough to sink a career. That was in the harrassment lawsuit against him.

[keats5]

Use your imagination. All the pervert needs to shame the boy into submission is a compromising photo and an internet connection. After that he could give the kid a phone, a computer, a bike and even a truck. The pervert still owns the kid.

[retMD]

Agreed. An additional reason is that kidnappers may try (and succeed) in convincing children that their parents are angry at them or don't want them. What kid can't recall an episode, however minor, where Mom or Dad was angry or unhappy over the child's behavior? It plays right into the natural "it's my fault" reaction.

If you don't believe it, check out how many kids feel responsible for a parent dying, despite the fact they had nothing to do with it.

O'Reilly should be ashamed.

[Halls]

I wasn't watching BOR, thanks very much. I read what he said online in articles and posts about Shawn.

People asking questions is putting judgment on a child that deserves none of that. i think it is sad when people like you question the judgement of a child who has been terrorized.

[dforest]

I don't know much about Bills wife, but I can remember some harassment lawsuit that was settled a couple of years ago. You know, sometimes BOR just shows total ignorance and he rarely apologizes for some of the really crass stuff he says. But, you know, hes just lookin out for you!

[Halls]

Your opinion is unconscionable!

[ican'tbelieveit]

That is what I consider your misguided, selfish opinion.

[A_perfect_lady]

I don't remember anyone saying Elizabeth Smart liked being molested by that ugly old coot and his nasty wife. Why would they say it about this boy? It's weird.

[rockinqsranch]

You apparently haven't had to face the World as a victim of such perversity. That is fortunate for you.

[Halls]

because he stayed with the guy for 4 years and didn't try and get away. This is why people are saying these cruel things about this boy.

People need to educate themself and realize that we cannot project what we think Shawn should have, could have, would have done. No one understands it, but that doesn't mean we should point the finger at him because we can't understand it. We haven't been there. The only one that can understand what Shawn has gone through was Steven Staynor and he is dead.

Shawn told Oprah in private that he didn't try to get away because he was terrified. People don't realize the depth of that meaning and if they think about it a bit more maybe they will see this was just a child when taken and still a child who was so terrified he never tried to get away.

There is only that explanation and it is good enough for me!

[panthermom]

Please......Devlin did not KIDNAP a child because he wanted a best friend and I am sure Shawn did not stay because he could skip school and play video games all day. Have you ever had someone close to you be horribly abused? I have, and that child went through her days like NOTHING was going on. And you know what, it was going on right under our noses. It was not until she got to college that she had a mental breakdown that it all came to light. I would bet anything that Shawn was abused and told horrific things and stayed in order to protect his family, either from being hurt or humiliated by what was going on because the abuser ALWAYS puts the blame on the child. Another thing, it certainly would fit that since Shawn was maturing he did not fit Devlin's fantasy anymore, in comes Ben. I would not be surprised if there was a boy there when Shawn showed up 4 years ago. If there was and something happened to the other boy and Shawn was witness to it, by God, you had better believe he would not second guess a threat. They should have cadaver dogs checking Devlin's property.

[panthermom]

My husband and I saw it and our jaws dropped. Just this morning my husband was saying he was still angry for O'Reillys comments.

[ishabibble]

Please go to Fox web site and view the Talking Points clip.
That is not what Bill O'Reilly said. He is asking the same question that everyone else is asking, and the closest that O'Reilly came to anything being said here is to wonder out loud as to why the boy didn't contact his parents.

Anyone can look at this video before they form a lynch mob.

[keats5]

"I don't understand this not bringing things up until he talks about it either. I think I would assume the worse and let him know that nothing that might have happened would change me loving him, and if something bad happened he could tell me."

I agree. I understand the experts say to let everything come out gradually, but I'm not sure the experts are right. Sometimes kids need "permission" to open up. If this was my son I'd tell him exactly what I suspected and tell him if that happened we could grieve and heal together.

[ican'tbelieveit]

You shouldn't assume. I was sexually molested by a brother as a very young child. The boy chose to go out and be seen. Would you rather that the media sit on his front lawn and snap pictures of him every time they think he appears at a window; report every time he goes to the bathroom?