From trophy wife to toxic wife

Telegraph ^ | 16 January 2007

[Aquinasfan]

Sad. But he made his bed.

[Froufrou]

Good to know, thank you. Sounds as fair as I would expect from our British friends. Cute name, snugs!

[Froufrou]

"I think you and others here are being very unfair to working mothers most I know do so to actually make ends meet."

Having been a working mom, I do apologize. I would never think of trashing my own. Technically, I'm still a working mom, except my little one has flown the coop.

[AdamSelene235]

Strong argument for an air tight prenup.

No such thing. Prenups are routinely set aside by a judge for being "inequitable".

[MistrX]

Hopefully, I will be a grandpa!
Thanks

[MistrX]

Grand!

[derllak]

Yeah, grampa is a step up from being a dad. You can always just give the kids back when they get to be a handful, hehehe!
I have no doubt you and wife will be great grandparents. ;)
Bless you both!

[MistrX]

Thank you

[GeorgefromGeorgia]

I had one bad marriage (my first) and have one great marriage (still enjoying). The first was hell the second is heaven. Marriage involves compromise, but find someone that enjoys your company and wants to make you happy, not some selfish bit-- that wants for me, me , me. Single life is overrated, and kids are great. The older you get, the more a great marriage beats the heck out of single life.

[Bookwoman]

he would be taking care of the baby on the weekends so his wife could have 'her time'.

When I was a young stay-at-home mom with an infant, our son did not sleep for more than short periods at a time. Not only did I not have any "my time", I did not get any sleep! Almost as soon as I dropped off, you guessed it, the baby woke up screaming! This went on for months. As soon as my husband got home from work he wanted to do his own thing and I got no relief. I figured it was my job anyway since I was "stay at home mom" and we couldn't afford outside help. My family was not in the area and I didn't have many friends since we had just moved there. Finally, I got deathly ill from exhaustion and out-of-control respiratory infections because my immune system was so compromised. It took a long time to get back on my feet - and I still got no help. Now if a person has a Nanny or other household help, I think they don't need "their time" on the weekend. But in cases like mine, I really needed time - just to get some sleep! There are cases too where the men want it all their way and the women no say. I chose to stay because I knew my kids would NEVER see their father if I divorced him. They are grown up now and neither of them wants anything much to do with him.

[silver charm]

this article is funny (if somewhat vicious) on the surface but troubling underneath. Basically a man acquires a sparkling little jewel (the trophy wife) to complete is collection of perfect accessories and make a statement he has arrived. But unlike the Impressionist painting or the Aston Martin car, the wife has a personality and opinions etc of her own. Required to basically be displayed and cause the owner (her husband) to be envied by his peers.
Low and behold, things somehow go horribly wrong.........

I was a bartender in the lounge of a pretty nice restaurt many many years ago. The regulars would often muse about how awful women were and how all the good ones were taken, no good ones ever existed etc. I asked them from time to time how they would know a "good woman" from a "bad one". If there were 20 women in a room, 2-3 of them "good ones", how would the recognize the good ones? Ofcourse they all agreed that the loud mouth sumo wrestling termagant type was not what the wanted, but basically, to a man, the description of a "good woman" was; Blond, young 18 to 25 years old, petite, very slim, big boobs, blue eyes and long legs.

Basicaly, they were all looking for Barbie. Barbie is made out of plastic. Vapid, "I'm pretty because everybody says I am" 22 year olds that are fortunate enough to have the above attributes foremost on their resumes are unlikely to mature into the kind of idealized woman these men want and expect.

[doberville]

There are none so snobbish as those who were NOT "to the
manor born".

[NYpeanut]

wow, scary loser alert needed there.

[Yaelle]

When she protested Dr. Laura simply stated "Of course you are, smart women do not date married men."

And under her breath she added, off mike, "Except me."

Her opinions are right on here but let's face it; she DID go for her married coworker and DID pull him away from his wife and three kids, but I am sure there must have been a Good Reason.

[Yaelle]

I could have written a lot of your post. My mother was a high-flier in her career as well. I was on my own after school and I regret the trouble I got into (nothing that anyone knew about but, you know, blonde teen in a sportscar type of trouble). She just WASN'T THERE.

So life finds me AT HOME with my little ones, homeschooling them too. You cannot have it all. I had it, one at a time (career, then mothering). That's how it works best.

[Kimmers]

I was not aware of that so using google as my friend it appears that she has a rather interesting history.

I do know that people can change in their behavior and their thinking.

I do agree with her, smart women do not date married men and married men do not date other women.

[xarmydog]

Good on you.You seem very mature and a parent with a good set of priorities.Rare in cases being mentioned.

[girlangler]

Wow, can't believe this thread is still going.

There are successful May/December relationships. But,in this article I think they are describing women who married (often married) men for a free ride. Those kind probably are doomed in most cases.

I do love these grandkids, since my husband don't fish I have a whole new generation of fishing partners. They also know how to con lots of fishing equipment out of me!!!!!

[DugwayDuke]

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a difficult time. This was not the issue with my friend. His wife was about six months pregnant when he made his announcement.

As I remember his exact words were that he and his wife had decided that she would not be receiving significant intellectual challenges during the week while spending time with the baby. Therefore they had decided that in order for her to get these intellectual challenges he would stay home with the baby on the weekend so she could spend time doing other things like shopping at the mall with her friends. IOW, this had nothing to do with a lack of sleep or any of the other things you mentioned. It sounds much more consistent with the description of these women in this article.

[Dr.Deth]

I rarely jest, and don't call me Shirley ;)