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£7million Spent on Consultants Who Advise Civil Servants to Put 'Black Tape on Desks'
This Is London ^ | 1/4/2007 | This Is London

Posted on 01/07/2007 2:07:36 PM PST by Dallas59

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To: GSlob

Yes, "inactive fruit" can be a problem. But I worry more about active fruits...the ones who ask, and tell.


41 posted on 01/07/2007 3:25:12 PM PST by Clioman
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To: Dallas59
£7million Spent on Consultants Who Advise Civil Servants to Put 'Black Tape on Desks'

Where do I apply? I'll make up similar nonsense for only $10 Million US dollars.

42 posted on 01/07/2007 3:25:21 PM PST by RJL
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To: GretchenM

"when I was a lad I did my turn as office boy in an attorney's firm...I polished up the handles so carefully, that now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navy." Gilbert and Sullivan sized them up just about right. If it doesn't bother the Brits, however, then spending a few pounds for some consulting work by establishment fellows to help recompense them for the confiscation of their hereditary estates may be okay; welfare money is necessary at various levels of the economic and social strata lest all manner of horrible sorts end up partying or dining with the royals and such-- but mind you, spend no consulting money for the former colonists anywhere.


43 posted on 01/07/2007 3:28:38 PM PST by mathurine (ua)
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To: Dallas59
You can't make this crap up.

FMCDH(BITS)

44 posted on 01/07/2007 3:29:05 PM PST by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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To: GSlob
Why, the "inactive fruit" part was brilliant. Everyone knows that inactive fruits are unbelievably pernicious and a serious health hazard.

I found an "in-active" banana in my eclosed bookcase that became that way over a long weekend. I had a problem with fruit flies for a couple of days. After all ...

A bird flies like an arrow

but

fruit flies like a banana.
45 posted on 01/07/2007 3:30:44 PM PST by tang-soo (Prophecy of the Seventy Weeks - Read Daniel Chapter 9)
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To: Last Laugh

"I would NOT make a good government employee."

Well, actually, 'Lean/Six Sigma' was first practiced in the private sector. It's now one of the 'new initiatives' being adopted by the government to raise efficiencies. My boss keeps threatening to send me to 'Lean/Six Sigma' training. I keep threatening him with all my work he would have to do if he does. Pretty much a stand-off.


46 posted on 01/07/2007 3:31:07 PM PST by DugwayDuke (Only children believe that they have any choice except the lesser of two evils.)
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To: Dallas59

47 posted on 01/07/2007 3:33:38 PM PST by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: GSlob
"Why, the "inactive fruit" part was brilliant. Everyone knows that inactive fruits are unbelievably pernicious and a serious health hazard."

Not to mention horny as hell!

48 posted on 01/07/2007 4:00:02 PM PST by albee (Okay. so he missed aThe best thing you can do for the poor is.....not be one of them. - Eric Hoffer)
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To: Dallas59

Wowsers!! How can I get in on this boondoggle? I know where the chair goes in relation to the desk. That should be good for at LEAST 2 million pounds!!


49 posted on 01/07/2007 4:20:58 PM PST by DustyMoment (FloriDUH - proud inventors of pregnant/hanging chads and judicide!!)
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To: DugwayDuke
Back in the day, I learned that the only thing on my desk should be what I was currently working on. That A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind.

The theory is not new. But, have employees devolved to the point that they need black tape?

That, to me, is an insult to intelligence

Your Boss should be commended on his sense of humor! There are some who think so little of their employees that they'd really send them!

50 posted on 01/07/2007 4:33:42 PM PST by Last Laugh (We the People are in charge, so let's act like it!)
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To: Liberty1970

Its been my experience that people ignore them everywhere after said consultants have moved on. I really wonder why companies waste time and resources on such petty things.

This is a prime example of the creative ideas consultants come up with. None of which is useful.


51 posted on 01/07/2007 5:08:02 PM PST by packrat35 (guest worker/day worker=SlaveMart)
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To: DugwayDuke

I had to do a six sigma project 3 times a week for a month. Complete waste of my time, especially since I had to go finish all my regular work in 5-6 hours instead of 8 because I was wasting time with their paperwork BS.

Where do these ideas come from?


52 posted on 01/07/2007 5:14:46 PM PST by packrat35 (guest worker/day worker=SlaveMart)
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To: magslinger

i always get a "lean desk" by picking a random pile of papers and placing it in the circular file, then repeating until the desk is "clean" - works like a charm!


53 posted on 01/07/2007 5:40:01 PM PST by chilepepper (The map is not the territory -- Alfred Korzybski)
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To: Dallas59

Ah the celebration of rules over reason! Can our extinction be far away?


54 posted on 01/07/2007 6:11:56 PM PST by rockrr (Never argue with a man who buys ammo in bulk...)
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To: c-b 1

The true artist sees order in chaos.


55 posted on 01/07/2007 6:55:44 PM PST by DUMBGRUNT (islam is a mutant meme)
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To: DUMBGRUNT

LOL An artist I am not.


56 posted on 01/07/2007 6:58:46 PM PST by c-b 1 (Reporting from behind enemy lines, in occupied AZTLAN.)
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To: muawiyah
Look, every office worker with a serious "paper flow" knows, sequentially, by date of aging, exactly where every single document is that he or she has to work.

I've had bosses describe that as the paleontology method of filing. That project was active when trilobites were alive so the paperwork should be right here ... [ pulls out report on project from deep in a pile]

57 posted on 01/07/2007 8:46:25 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Baker's Iraq Surrender Group - warming up the last helicopter out of Baghdad.)
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To: Dallas59

Having spent a good part of my career as an eefficiency consultant I can tell you that these consultants are way off base.

This is a total waste of money.


58 posted on 01/08/2007 1:29:06 PM PST by TexanToTheCore (If it ain't Rugby or Bullriding, it's for girls.........................................)
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To: packrat35

"I had to do a six sigma project 3 times a week for a month. Complete waste of my time, especially since I had to go finish all my regular work in 5-6 hours instead of 8 because I was wasting time with their paperwork BS. Where do these ideas come from?"

Don't you know, management is just trying to give you the tools to be more effective? My office just appointed a very senior level staff position to implement six-sigma office wide. You have no idea how much I look forward to that.


59 posted on 01/08/2007 4:47:49 PM PST by DugwayDuke (Only children believe that they have any choice except the lesser of two evils.)
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