Posted on 12/30/2006 4:39:20 PM PST by bruinbirdman
I am bemused by the folks who insist that there is nothing wrong with outsourcing the raising of children.
Of course, it's usually just a rationalization of one's own selfish behavior. After all, "If I want it, it's good".
I am even more amused by the complaints I hear from parents about the problems they have with child care. They themselves can't be bothered with the children, but they expect paid mercenaries to actually give a darn about them!
I am glad to hear that it worked for you. You sound like the exception.
I say what I think based on observation. I have two kids and know many other families with kids. My point is that it is "better" to have a parent home (grandparen?) than to have children raised by others (daycare). I never said daycare couldn't work, what I said was that it wasn't the best case. Another point is that two jobs aren't necessary to pay for the things kids need most. Time is what is most necessary. Time to do things together, time to share and to "bond." That some can pull it off, doesn't make using daycare to raise children "best."
You are correct. There are countless negatives to having Mom work full time. But the Dems/Libs who are ruining our country will never recognize that as they do not deal with reality very well.
I found that with my youngest daughter, what they said worked out. She started learning to read at the same age as the others but had a terrible time for a fw years. She'd also write things in mirror image, perfectly. She pulled out of it about 5th grade. In the meantime, we taught her all she needed to know, just took our time with the reading. She's doing fine now. Just a late bloomer, I guess.
Paid mercenaries???????????
You sure sound defensive about your decisions. Why is that when you're so sure of yourself?
I have to admit I'm one of those parents who with my first child I had no choice, the second, sadly, I did and didn't come back home until he was four, and then off to kindergarten. What I regret to my dying day is all the time I missed, no making that up, no matter how great they turned out.
Unfortunately, I both my spouse and I worked during our children's pre-school years. Fortunately, my parents watched them while we worked. I believe that it is best that mom should be home, but some times circumstances don't allow for that.
The problem is that quality time (whatever that is) doen't happen on schedule. My Mom worked when I was growing up, and yeah, I'm ok. But I can tell you that when she came home after work she was tired. I loved my Mom and I know she did what she thought was best, and I treasure the time we DID have together, but I also resented (as a kid) her not being there when I got home.
Everyone does what they will do, and frankly, it's their own business. However, I think people need to make their decisions with their eyes wide open and based on the best information available no matter what they choose.
susie
They didn't have daycare centers staffed by strangers. The children either packed along with Mom or they were cared for by a family member (grandmothers/aunts/etc). THAT is the natural order of human existance. The idea of sending children into large same age groups to be tended by strangers is a modern contrivance as far as I can tell.
susie
The best situation is mom at home, but grandma is a great second-string mom and the kids will not suffer from that arrangement. Grandparents ususally love their grandchildren intensely.
The most common meaning of mercenary is a free lance soldier. Do you expect anyone do perform a job for free?
Nope, not defensive. Just hate to see people put down for using daycare when it can be an excellent alternative. I've seen maladjusted kids that were home schooled and very well adjusted kids who were not. A lot depends on the makeup of the child and the parent-child dynamic. Some parents cannot deal with children day in and day out and still function as an adult and relate to their husband. Some kids end up forever tied to mama's apron strings, never venturing much past that stage.To each his own.
Do you expect anyone do perform a job for free?
Do you expect anyone to love your children for money?
Grandparents ususally love their grandchildren intensely
You can say that again. I went to pop my daughter on her backside for doing something naughty, my Dad had a cow!
From your response it seemed that you may have thought I was equating daycare workers with warriors. Rather, I was pointing out that daycare workers are paid to perform a service, that service being to watch over children.
While many children do fine essentially being raised by strangers, the love of a mommy and daddy is generally preferable for the emotional and spiritual welfare of children.
Even if the daycare worker is a wonderful, warm individual, she or he is usually there temporarily. The turnover among daycare workers isn't much better in a typical center than at McDonald's. So how does a child bond to a succession of strange adults?
I agree that the love of parents is preferred. However, to suggest that parents who have two choices: both work or live in poverty, and choose to both work are somehow doing wrong, is a little over the top.
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