Posted on 11/14/2006 8:06:04 AM PST by FLOutdoorsman
Carolyn
If you have eczema, it means you are allergic to something. I had it for years as well, the worst being one time having it flare up all up and down my back and arms, until it was found I was allergic to Tide detergent. I stopped washing my clothes in that stuff 7 years ago and haven`t had a flare up since.
This sounds about as intelligent as my concept for the FASTEST POSSIBLE weight loss and muscle-building program.
First: eat nothing other that a carefully designed mix of vitamin pills, EFAs and proteins. This prevents loss of muscle and vitamin deficiencies, but gives perhaps 200 calories a day.
Second: drink only icewater. Your body has to heat up the water. I calorie per degree per cubic centimeter of water. So, it has to heat up the water from 0C to 42C, there's 42 calories expended per cc right there. Figure that a glass of water is 100 cc's, that's 4200 calories per glass of icewater! A pound per glass! Woo-hoo! (Yes, yes, I know it doesn't REALLY work that way, but work with me here.)
Third: the exercise regimen.
Electrodes are placed all over the body, including insertion into the skin with tiny needles. (Yes, it is painful; no pain, no gain). Pulsed electricity is used to put all of the muscles in the body into FULL TETANUS. Thus EVERY muscle is brought rapidly to complete exhaustion. The process is then repeated.
Fourth: all of this repeated electro-tetanus is done while the person is completely submerged in icewater, breathing through a tube (it's important to have complete submersion, because so much heat is lost through the head, and you want to suck off lots of heat).
Fifth: as hypothermia approaches, dunk the body in hjot water to bring back uip temperature.
Lose 20 pounds in one day.
Or die.
I realize the whole concept is silly, but you are confusing physics calories with dietary Calories (note the capital C). Dietary Calories are physics kilocalories, so you only use up 4.2 Calories to heat up 100 cc of water to body temperature.
When we say "calorie", we really mean kilocalerie ... so the 4200 calories per glass of icewater is actually only 4.2 "calories".
Corpsickle **ping**
On the plus side, a tumbler of water is more like 400cc or not quite a pint, so your heat expenditure would quadruple to 16.8 Calories.
When they said "Freeze!" the suspect said, "Been there, done that..."
They should just move to the northeast for the winter. We get this every year. Just about freeze our butts off.
Ted Williams. Paging Ted Williams. You have a call on the white courtesy phone.
Sounds a lot like Hammertherapy. You hit yourself in the head with a hammer, repeatedly. When you stop doing that, you feel so much better.
I would think for some with serious vascualr disease there would be a risk for blod clots and severe damage to small blood vessels among other things.
Good!
Then drinks gallons and gallons of (caffeinated) icewater.
It can only add to the overall flavor of THE WORLD'S FASTEST WEIGHT LOSS AND EXERCISE PROGRAM.
Total body immersion in frozen slush with electric-jolt therapy followed by plunging into hot water, while drinking gallons of ice. WOO-HOO!
I thought about posting the obligatory 'shrinkage' picture, but I thought it would be too obvious.
"Pulsed electricity is used to put all of the muscles in the body into FULL TETANUS. Thus EVERY muscle is brought rapidly to complete exhaustion. The process is then repeated."
You do realize that many athletes have done this for years. (Cf. the Russky Olympic team.)
It's called -- among other things -- "electic stim" for stimulation.
Sure, they've done electric stimulation, but I am talking about FULL TETANUS here, so that EVERY muscle fiber fires and goes max at one. (THAT is colloquially called "electrocution").
And even if there have been some who have done that, they ain't nuthin' unless they do it immersed in icewater.
I think the Russians just SAID they were using electric stim, when REALLY they were using steroidal stim.
HEY!
I just thought of an addition to the Diet/Exercise routine!
Cholera!
There's no faster way to lose weight than the runs and fever!
So, in addition to electrocution in icewater whilst swilling icewater, lwet's be sure to infect our candidate with cholera!
Of course, that WILL make the ice slush bath look like a chocolate slurpee after awhile, but hey, we're talking 30 POUNDS A DAY folks!
One other little niggle with the math in your caloric usage calculation: Normal body temperature is 37 degrees C.
42 is a HIGH fever, as in 107 degrees F.
Many thanks!
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