Why Christians should welcome, rather than stigmatize, unwed mothers and their children.

http://www.christianitytoday.com ^ | 9 16 06 | Amy Laura Hall

[PleaseNoMore]

From what I gather her situation is working out well for her and the other students. As I said, she is living in a Christian home but I do not know what the long term plans are for her once she progresses in her pregnancy. As for her attending being a disruption or negative for the other students? I don't think it is either. I don't believe her being pregnant is going to cause other female students to go have sex and get pregnant. If her situation influences them in any way I hope it teaches them there are consequences for your actons, forgiveness, etc. Of course, I must emphasize this is a small private school. Were she to attend a large public school, things may be different.

[Sloth]

Have you ever been in the line at a grocery store, seen a woman with 3 kids acting like monkeys, and as she begins to pay for her food with food stamps, and you start to hear the voice of judgment?

Food stamps is nothing, but failure to control one's kids is absolutely deserving of negative judgment. Parents who do that don't really love their children.

[justshutupandtakeit]

I remember very well the flack Quayle took. And see the flack Bill Cosby is NOW taking from those who are devoted to destroying their own race, the poverty pimps and democrat Black churches.

Those decent Black families who must live in the middle of this insanity have all my respect and sympathy.

[justshutupandtakeit]

May God bless this woman and her family.

[truthkeeper]

Thank you, sincerely.

[the OlLine Rebel]

"I had heard that they were a gift from God and assumed that you prayed for one and God gave you one. (I was raised in the 50's)"


That's what my mother told me! Specifically, "pray really hard"! ;-D

She was raised in the '40s-'50s, though, and I was raised in the '70s-'80s. I guess I just got a hand-me-down explanation.

[longtermmemmory]

I remember a conversation with a judge that said 70% of all his criminal cases were from mother only families. He believed recitivism was linked to that too.

The problem is we are PC prohibited from being honest in the ivory towers and proclaiming that fatherhood is vital to citizenship. (as in civic responsibility)

[The Ghost of FReepers Past]

Any time there are standards, deviations from those standards are stigmatized. It's just the way the world goes round. The solution is not to end the stigma and thus render ineffective the standard. The solution is to keep the stigma but add hope. Give offenders of the standard an opportunity to overcome it, to rectify it, to turn around and do right. The stigma should not be an obstacle to change for the better, but neither should it be a trojan horse to maintaining moral guidelines and standards.

Working through an earned stigma and turning your life around used to be viewed as admitting blame and accepting responsibility. It took some humility to overcome, but the person was the better for it. My how things have changed.

[justshutupandtakeit]

This is a major reason that the public schools in the big cities have been destroyed.

[naturalized]

The local church is not a social service program - it is a place where people can assemble together and give honor and glory to God.

All due respect, but loving the Lord God with all your heart and soul and might is more than showing up at the local box and putting in your hour's worth. While I agree that we don't do enough to encourage abstinence, how does telling an unwed mother to sin no more further this - she is going to have the baby and we should act to discourage her desire to terminate the pregnancy. Embracing her (and the father) without condoning the sin and helping them be responsible for the consequences seems to be a better reflection of the kingdom of God.

Rather than ostracism, which I used to believe in, I now prefer the example of the first to recognize the teachings of the Messiah:

32All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. 33With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.

Acts 4

[Auntie Mame]

I agree. It seems so many stigmatize unwed mothers at the same time they rant on about how awful abortion is. The logic escapes me.

[wmfights]

"There are so many teens who don't know "how" to behave in a Christian manner because they have not been taught what sinful behavior is. Yes, I blame Christians for some of it, including myself, because we aren't out there reaching these kids like the church should."
__________________________________

I have a 15 year old son. I have discussed sex with him since he was in 5th grade and consequences. Most of his classmates parents can't believe I'm serious when I'm telling him if he gets a girl pregnant his options are as follows: one, adoption, since the two of them have no ability to provide or raise a child; two, get married quit school (maybe go at nights) and provide for the child he helped to create and finally: three, quit school get a job and give 25-40% of what you earn to the girl for the baby for the next 18 years if she won't marry you.

Parents always ask are you serious? They can't conceive of the idea that there would be such serious consequences. I think this is the root of the problem, not churches taking over parents roles of parenting.

[wmfights]

"Please tell me she'll be giving that baby up for adoption to a loving, two-family home. After all, it's the truly Christian thing to do."
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Amen!

That is the message we should be promoting in our churches.

[wmfights]

" She has two years of school left and has already began taking some college credit courses and plans to attend our local community college to pursue a degree in Nursing once she graduates."
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Is she being subsidized by the State? What happened to the father?

[truthkeeper]

I understand nurses work 12-hour shifts nowadays...

[BaBaStooey]

The message to be focusing on here is personal responsibility. Unwed mothers just happen to be caught up in the big picture.

Everyone must take responsibility for their actions, and they shouldn't cheat or take shortcuts or play God to try to escape their responsibilities.

[wmfights]

"It seems so many stigmatize unwed mothers at the same time they rant on about how awful abortion is. The logic escapes me."
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Let me try to explain. The baby is innocent in the whole mess and should not be the recipient of the punishment ie., abortion. Adoption to two married adults capable of raising the child in a loving home is the best solution.

BTW, the stigma should be carried by the father of the baby as well. Both parties should be shamed for their self centered act.

[blu]

I agree. Think of all the face-time an unwed teenager gets- counselors, family, church, friends. It would be much more valuable to that teen if that face-time was spent teaching her how to be a good mother, rather than telling her how bad she is.

As usual, life happens and we deal with it. A mistake was made, it'd be a waste to spend the rest of her life dealing negatively with it. Help her learn from it.Oh, and not to neglect the father! Him I'd give an economics lesson, and show him how to be a good, RESPONSIBLE father. (truthfully, tho, as the mom of 2 boys, he would get a SEVERE lecture from me!)

[wmfights]

"I understand nurses work 12-hour shifts nowadays..."
_________________________

Who will raise the child?

It seems like the child is the one who suffers. The child doesn't get to have a strong male role model in his/her life.

[blu]

Cindy, you think unwed pregnant teens should stay out of sight? Stay at home to be educated? Why?