Posted on 09/14/2006 3:48:37 PM PDT by RDTF
Too, too funny.
I've had that gif a long time, someone else made it but I added Kerry's head.
LOL, funny!
Short and to the point.
I like the "rice fanny grenade" reference.
John Kerry, in dire need of carrying Ohio in his 2004 presidential bid, decided he should go "goose hunting" to maybe shore up the NRA and hunter's votes.
Kerry goes and buys his hunting licence, full camo gear, and brandishing his new shotgun, paused for the pre-hunt photo ops, and then takes off with a few other hunters, and begins his goose quest.
Going quite far off the "beaten path", to remain out of sight of the press incase he comes up "empty" in his "endeavor", Kerry and crew finally see a chance for a goose as a flock finally flies overhead within shotgun range. The rest of Kerry's team hold their fire to give Kerry his chance for a "kill".
Kerry fires twice and misses, but quickly reloads, and his third shot at the flock, hits it's mark and wings one of the geese. The bird does not go down right away, but injuredly glides on a downward path ahead of Kerry's party and lands out of their sight near what appears to be a farmers barn and house.
Kerry's party quickly goes to redeem their "prize", and climbing over the farmer's fence that marks his property, see the goose still flapping beside the farmer's barn. Kerry quickly heads to the barn, but is stopped short of retrieving the goose, as he is suddenly met by the farmer who owns the property.
Kerry says to the farmer:"Hello, I'm John Kerry, the Senator from Mass who is running for President. I shot a goose, and it landed by the barn and I was going to retrieve it."
The farmer replies:"Yes, I recognize you Senator, but it seems like you are unfamiliar with the goose hunting rules here in Ohio. If the goose lands on someone elses property, you do not have ownership of the bird, unless you are the winner of the challenge by the owner of the property."
Kerry replies: "I didn't know about the Ohio rule challenge. What is it?"
The farmer replies:"The owner of the property gets to pick the challenge. If you refuse, I get to keep the goose."
Kerry questions the farmer: "Well, it sounds fair, but what is your challenge ?"
The farmer replies: "You and I will have a contest. The contest is, we will take turns accepting a kick to the groin, and the last one standing gets to keep the goose. Agreed?"
Kerry thinks for a moment. He doesn't want to come away from his well publicized "goose hunt" empty handed, and the farmer doesn't look very strong. The war hero Kerry says to the farmer: "Well, it's a strange challenge, but let's go for it !!"
The farmer replies: "Ok Senator, but because I am the property owner, I get to start the challenge."
Kerry agrees. He hands his shotgun to one of the members of his party, and takes an open stance ready to accept the farmer's first attempt.
The farmer approaches Kerry, and gives him such a kick, that Kerry is lifted off his feet, and crumples into a writhing ball of pain. The farmer backs away, waiting to see if Kerry will survive his first kick. Kerry groans in pain, but after a few minutes, with his friends cheering him to get up, rises to his feet.
With Kerry's party cheering him on, Kerry says to the farmer: "Well that was pretty good, but now according to your rules, it's my turn to kick you !!"
The farmer replies: "Aw, you can keep the goose !!"
John Kerry is the gift that keeps on giving
2008 will be a feast
I've even enlisted the Beach Boys for BG music
LOL, did the Beach Boys go surfing USA?? Can't recall their songs but you've got tricks up your sleeve!
Ah, that's good Phil, I like it.
I believe he needs a manicure.
Yuck! I'll never forget how those two man handled each other during the campaign. It was down right creepy.
Great joke. And the moral of the story is: Kerry is one dumb SOB.
http://news.bostonherald.com/editorial/view.bg?articleid=157096&srvc=home
Letter published in Boston Herald..
Safer without Kerry
By Brigitte Maser/ Letters
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Maybe post-9/11 policy hasnt made the world safer, but the fact that John Kerry didnt get elected president has (Post-9/11 policy hasnt made world safer, Sept. 9). I am not a Democrat who desires to oppose policy that has seemingly failed in conquering an enemy that is the very epitome of evil. I am an American citizen who believes that we need to believe in our government, what our freedom means and at the same time can be confused about why we would allow a terrorist to enter our country and speak of tolerance and understanding when he has none of his own.
Kerry can sit in his Beacon Hill townhouse and write columns blithely reminding us that we need to restore our moral authority and our values because this is what will win the war on terror. Well two days before the fifth anniversary of 9/11, a man who claims he can lead a country still didnt have the slightest clue about the people who live in it.
If he did, he would have been elected.
Brigitte Maser, Medford
The Swiftboat men will haunt him.
...to his grave. ;^)
Ping
Kerry will never get to take his shot at the Swifties. Hillary will have his testicles in a glass jar early in the Dem primaries. However, the greatest humiliation will be reserved for Al Gore who will end up having to run as vice-presidential candidate on a Clinton ticket. What a delicious irony that will be!
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