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Beware of Sheep Droppings
Miami Herald ^ | DAVE BARRY

Posted on 07/16/2006 9:22:17 AM PDT by nuconvert

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1 posted on 07/16/2006 9:22:19 AM PDT by nuconvert
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To: nuconvert

Have you talked to Art Bell about this?


2 posted on 07/16/2006 9:25:05 AM PDT by Minutemen ("It's a Religion of Peace")
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To: Minutemen

I wonder if the sheep reached terminal velocity before impact.


3 posted on 07/16/2006 9:26:58 AM PDT by driftdiver
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To: driftdiver

"I wonder if the sheep reached terminal velocity before impact"

Well, they sure did at the end!


4 posted on 07/16/2006 9:27:34 AM PDT by Bigh4u2 (Denial is the first requirement to be a liberal)
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To: Flyer; humblegunner; Allegra; TheMom; Xenalyte; thackney; Eaker; stevie_d_64; TXBSAFH; ...

Sunday Smile Ping


5 posted on 07/16/2006 9:27:59 AM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Whatever happened to Cynthia McKinney?)
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To: nuconvert

City Gent Good afternoon.

Rustic Afternoon.

City Gent A lovely day isn't it.

Rustic Eh, 'tis that.

City Gent You here on holiday or...?

Rustic Nope, I live 'ere.

City Gent Oh, jolly good too. (surveys field; he looks puzzled) I say, those are sheep aren't they?

Rustic Ar.

City Gent Yes, yes of course, I thought so...only...er why are they up in the trees?

Rustic A fair question and one that in recent weeks has been much on my mind. It's my considered opinion that they're nesting.

City Gent Nesting?

Rustic Ar.

City Gent Like birds?

Rustic Ar. Exactly. Birds is the key to the whole problem. It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their behavior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. (off-screen baa-ing) Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet. (sound of sheep plummeting) Observe for example that ewe in that oak tree. She is clearly trying to teach her lamb to fly. (baaaaaa...thump) Talk about the blind leading the blind.

City Gent But why do they think they're birds?

Rustic Another fair question. One thing is for sure; a sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'. (crash) As you see. As for flight, its body is totally unadapted to the problems of aviation. Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their heads, there's no shifting it.

City Gent But where did they get the idea from?

Rustic From Harold. He's that sheep there over under the elm. He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. He's the ring-leader. He has realized that a sheep's life consists of standing around for a few months and then being eaten. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. He's patently hit on the idea of escape.

City Gent Well why don't you just get rid of Harold?

Rustic Because of the enormous commercial possibilities should he succeed.


6 posted on 07/16/2006 9:31:34 AM PDT by LongElegantLegs (You can do that, and be a whack-job pedophile on meth.)
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To: nuconvert; leda

LOL


7 posted on 07/16/2006 9:31:51 AM PDT by patton (LGOPs = head toward the noise, kill anyone not dressed like you.)
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To: pax_et_bonum
reminds me of another story


8 posted on 07/16/2006 9:34:52 AM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: LongElegantLegs

Lol


9 posted on 07/16/2006 9:35:24 AM PDT by nuconvert ([there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: patton

lol! just gotta love dave barry :)


10 posted on 07/16/2006 9:43:58 AM PDT by leda (Life is always what you make it!)
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To: LongElegantLegs

LOLOLOL


11 posted on 07/16/2006 9:47:15 AM PDT by patton (LGOPs = head toward the noise, kill anyone not dressed like you.)
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To: pax_et_bonum; humblegunner; Flyer; thackney
LOL - I needed that smile! I love Dave Barry.

All anyone seems to want to talk about on FR today is the stupid war.

I want to laugh at stuff.

12 posted on 07/16/2006 10:12:23 AM PDT by Allegra (FReeping LIVE! from suddenly one of the safer places in the Middle East)
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To: nuconvert

Thank you for this post I sure needed a laugh....


13 posted on 07/16/2006 10:19:08 AM PDT by Kimmers
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To: thackney

Did that bite your sister, ere it met its demise?


14 posted on 07/16/2006 10:19:48 AM PDT by brothers4thID (Being lectured by Ted Kennedy on ethics is not unlike being lectured on dating protocol by Ted Bundy)
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To: thackney
I've read of this sort of thing.

Obviously the work of glaciation.

15 posted on 07/16/2006 10:40:48 AM PDT by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: thackney

Moose pole-vaulting gone bad?


16 posted on 07/16/2006 10:41:32 AM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Whatever happened to Cynthia McKinney?)
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To: Allegra; humblegunner; Flyer; thackney
I want to laugh at stuff.

Me, too.

Just wait till September.

:-)

17 posted on 07/16/2006 10:42:56 AM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Whatever happened to Cynthia McKinney?)
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To: Boxsford; Irish Rose; Ditter; kitkat

baaah, baaah Pong


18 posted on 07/16/2006 11:13:50 AM PDT by nuconvert ([there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: pax_et_bonum
Just wait till September.

Less...than....50....days!!

19 posted on 07/16/2006 11:29:28 AM PDT by Allegra (FReeping LIVE! from suddenly one of the safer places in the Middle East)
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To: brothers4thID; humblegunner; pax_et_bonum

Moose caught in power lines, hangs 50 feet in air
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1252425/posts


20 posted on 07/16/2006 1:04:15 PM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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