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The world's funniest joke was written by Spike Milligan
The Daily Telegraph (UK) ^ | June 9, 2006 | By Roger Highfield, Science Editor

Posted on 06/12/2006 9:27:43 AM PDT by aculeus

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To: keithtoo

That us EXACTLY how a lib would react. I had a lib friend come out of his seat at a Christmas party when I said that I believed in the death penalty and I thought we should fast-track them. "That is SO WRONG" he said. Totally lost it. I just laughed. They have no sense of balance.


21 posted on 06/12/2006 9:37:02 AM PDT by bboop (Stealth Tutor)
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To: dirtboy

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...
Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!


22 posted on 06/12/2006 9:37:05 AM PDT by SteelCurtain_SSN720 (If you pass the rabid child, say "hammer down" for me)
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To: aculeus
Hogwash, the world's funniest joke was written by Ernest Scribbler.

Voice Over:
This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes. In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world... and, as a consequence, he will die... laughing.

Ernest stops writing, pauses to look at what he has written... a smile slowly spreads across his face, turning very, very slowly to uncontrolled hysterical laughter... he staggers to his feet and reels across room helpless with mounting mirth and eventually collapses and dies on the floor.

Voice Over:
It was obvious that this joke was lethal...
no one could read it and live...

Ernest's mother enters. She sees him dead, she gives a little cry of horror and bends over his body, weeping. Brokenly she notices the piece of paper in his hand and picks it up and reads it between her sobs. Immediately she breaks out into hysterical laughter, leaps three feet into the air, and falls down dead without more ado. Cut to news type shot of commentator standing in front of the house.

Commentator:
This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden... violent... comedy.
Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.

Inspector:
I shall enter the house and attempt to remove the joke.

About now an upstairs window in the house is fiung open and a doctor, rears his head out, hysterical with laughter, and dies hanging over the window sill.

23 posted on 06/12/2006 9:37:22 AM PDT by #1CTYankee (That's right, I have no proof. So what of it??)
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To: ElkGroveDan

Damn!!! too slow.


24 posted on 06/12/2006 9:38:07 AM PDT by SteelCurtain_SSN720 (If you pass the rabid child, say "hammer down" for me)
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To: No Blue States
A leaky fountain pen in a breast pocket is funnier than someone stumbling and falling down, imo.

25 posted on 06/12/2006 9:38:39 AM PDT by I see my hands (_8(|)
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To: aculeus
What is this? Some kind of a joke?

26 posted on 06/12/2006 9:38:48 AM PDT by keithtoo ("Drilling in ANWaR is OK with us" - Alaskan Caribou Benevolent Association.)
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To: aculeus

People might be surprised how many writings, jokes, and slogans originated on FR. The "I'm a bad American" essay and "Sore Loserman", to name two. There are others as well.


27 posted on 06/12/2006 9:38:57 AM PDT by Our man in washington
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To: BeHoldAPaleHorse
"Dalek" as in Doctor Who Daleks?

Why a Dalek?

28 posted on 06/12/2006 9:39:02 AM PDT by SamAdams_Lite
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To: SteelCurtain_SSN720
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

The Killer Joke.

"Der Flippermeyer!"

29 posted on 06/12/2006 9:39:49 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative
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To: najida

I thought it was a goose (longer neck) but I have to agree with you. It's between that one and the newlywed that lost half his foot.


30 posted on 06/12/2006 9:39:57 AM PDT by Barb4Bush
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To: aculeus
Two guys walking down the street. They come across a dog licking it's privates. One guy says "Heh, wish I could do that.". The other replies "You should maybe pet him first.".

<rimshot>
31 posted on 06/12/2006 9:41:03 AM PDT by Spruce (Keep your mitts off my wallet)
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To: BeHoldAPaleHorse
John Kerry sits down at a bar.

Bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

32 posted on 06/12/2006 9:41:41 AM PDT by SamAdams_Lite
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To: Hildy

LOL!


33 posted on 06/12/2006 9:42:14 AM PDT by talleyman (Kerry & the Surrender-Donkey Treasoncrats - trashing the troops for 40 years.)
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To: I see my hands

lol

That picture of the guy with the free mamogram box is definately in the top 10 too.


34 posted on 06/12/2006 9:42:26 AM PDT by No Blue States
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To: Hildy

got to remember that one ping.


35 posted on 06/12/2006 9:43:23 AM PDT by dangerdoc (dangerdoc (not actually dangerous any more))
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To: ElkGroveDan

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.............fwwap....(stop breathing)


36 posted on 06/12/2006 9:44:20 AM PDT by Conan the Librarian (The Best in Life is to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and the Dewey Decimal System)
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To: Hildy

The "Duck" joke really quacked me up


37 posted on 06/12/2006 9:46:01 AM PDT by wally-balls
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To: aculeus
Milligan was a genius. When I was a kid, just outside of NYC, late at night I used to be able to pick up the Canadian Broadcasting System on AM (out of Toronto?), playing old recordings of The Goon Show.

It was the best. I almost remember the name of the orchestra that played during the breaks.

Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, and Harry Seacombe. (One of Seacombe's identities was Sir Cedric Sea-Goon). I think Milligan played the deranged, apparently retarded character named Eccles, among a dozen or so others.

RIP, gents. You changed the world for the weirder, and better.

38 posted on 06/12/2006 9:46:26 AM PDT by SamuraiScot
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To: aculeus
Joke: Science Editor at work.

Hey! He was probably working under a government funded grant!

39 posted on 06/12/2006 9:47:10 AM PDT by The Sons of Liberty (Former SAC Trained Killer)
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To: Spruce

Same as the joke that Lewis Grizzard told.

Two Georgia Bulldog fans were at a game and saw UGA V cleaning himself.

One says "I wish I could do that"

The other says "That dawg would bite you!"


40 posted on 06/12/2006 9:47:50 AM PDT by Conan the Librarian (The Best in Life is to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and the Dewey Decimal System)
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