Posted on 05/14/2006 6:09:13 PM PDT by rhema
(pffffffhhhhhttt) sorry, what was that? I was eating ice cream.
I was saying that I am Homer of Borg. You will be assim— Ooooo! Donuts...
I had an operation and so I'm on the happy juice. You crack me up when I'm sober. You're ruining the stitches while I'm under the influence.
Yikes! Nothing serious, I hope?
You crack me up when I'm sober.
Thanks! :o)
You're ruining the stitches while I'm under the influence.
Wuh-oh. Okay, I'll tone it back a notch.
Knock-Knock.
Nothing major, just enough to keep me home.
Who's there?
Whew! Glad to hear it. :o)
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn't know you could yodel!
;o)
How many of the people whining and moaning about having their privacy invaded by the government knowing their calling patterns do you think shred their phone bills?
groan
I got one: A married couple sits down to a fine meal at an elegant restaurant. Suddenly a lady from another table begins to gag on her steak. She's gasping for breath and starts turning blue. The couple looks worried. Then the husband gets up and runs over to the gagging woman, lifts up her dress, pulls down her panties, and licks her butt. Suddenly the steak dislodges onto the table. Relieved the lady thanks the man. She puts her clothes back on and begins eating the rest of the meal.
Husband sits down with his wife. He wipes his mouth while she smiles nervously at him. Some people clap then return to their meals.
Another woman begins to gag at a table way in the back. People start yelling for the man to save her too. He looks at his wife. She looks nervously at him but waves him on. As fast as he can, he jumps over a few tables and reaches the choking woman. He pulls down her slacks and underwear and begins licking her rear. COUGH--out flies the chicken bone. She thanks the man as she pulls her clothes back up.
Husband is congratulated as he makes his way back to his wife. He sits down. Wipes his mouth and begins eating his meal as if nothing happened. By this time the wife's jealousy has the best of her. In a controlled fit of anger she looks her husband in the eye "What the hell do you call that nonsense?"
"Nonsense? Honey, I saved those women." says he.
"I'm aware what you did. But what's with the sex?" she demands.
"Sex??? That wasn't sex honey. Haven't you ever heard of the heiny-lick maneuver?"
There is something unctious and disgusting about "perpetual victims" like the author. They fear adulthood so much, that they insist upon dragging us all into their delusions or persecution. Sorry, but we are busy dealing with the real threats to our lives, and we don't have time to babysit with idiots like this guy.
So true. Nobody is listening to my actual phone calls, and my freedom is not being fringed one iota. These huge data mining operations can provide important information that can save the lives of many innocent people. Full speed ahead!
I didn't see anything unctuous at all; Soucheray's a big boy who takes the whole thing pretty matter-of-factly and says we're lucky to live in a country where all the information that's readily available about us isn't used by the government to dragoon us: "Or they are lying to me and they are bent only on one thing: prying into my life and wondering whom I am talking to. But that doesn't seem reasonable to conclude. . . .I guess you can either let that drive you crazy or be thankful that you live in the United States, still the best place in the world to live when you have no privacy."
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