The Church Of Global Warming (Damn Those America Haughty, SUV Driving Republican Voters Alert)

FRontpagemag.com ^ | 04/06/06 | Matt Tooley

[goldstategop]

Dear Friends, what's the greatest sin in the Western Wotld today? It isn't as you might be led to expect, that of the sin of being an accomplice to the ever widening march of Islam with its stench of mass murder and religious intolerance. No, its being ignorant of the danger of global warming and being a damned haughty American SUV driving Republican voter. That's all it takes to bring out the wrath and indignation of the Religous Left's Church Of Global Warming. The danger is always a more ephemeral kind and in contrast to religious Lefties getting all warmed up by the sight of an iceberg melting; they're indifferent to the sight of the mass murder of innocent human beings and are silent in the face of the true evil of our time. Then again to these people America stands more accursed than the entire realm of Islam.

(Denny Crane: "I Don't Want To Socialize With A Pinko Liberal Democrat Commie. Say What You Like About Republicans. We Stick To Our Convictions. Even When We Know We're Dead Wrong.")

[carumba]

Bishop Hanson called "all Americans to acknowledge our sinful complicity in producing one-quarter of the world’s carbon emissions, which exacerbate global warming, even though we are only five percent of the planet’s human population." The prelate's sermonizing, though phrased in the verbiage of religiosity, was drawn from the usual talking points of the Green Left. "We are committed to repent of our own sinful misuse and abuse of the Earth, direct and indirect," Hanson intoned. "We do this especially for the sake of the poor of the earth, working on their behalf, even as we contend with entrenched political, economic, and social forces."

We could kill two problems with one stone. We could stop producing, reduce ourselves to abject poverty, then the polluters would be under funded and the immigrants would stay home to die. If we make conditions really bad the population would die off in famines ala Somalia and North Korea. These leftist thinkers are way ahead. But with their commitment to earth movements and the atheistic left I wonder if their hearts are really into the Christian part of Christianity. Looks like lip service form where I stand.

[kb2614]

sigh

Gee and I thought Christains were suppose to tell the world about the Love of Jesus Christ and the forgivness of sins, etc. I must be one of those Bible thumping Rethuglicans.

[familyop]

Global warming is caused by lefties through too much pot smoking, crack smoking and soy flatulence. ...and too many divorced/separated, libertine couples with separate cars, separate houses to heat,...

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

soy flatulence

Thank you! I may have a name for my new band!

[Vaquero]

hey hey....keep driving those Hybrids....it will help bring down the price of gas for me....Thanx in advance.

[Izzy Dunne]

We could stop producing, reduce ourselves to abject poverty, then the polluters would be under funded and the immigrants would stay home to die. If we make conditions really bad the population would die off in famines ala Somalia and North Korea. These leftist thinkers are way ahead.

OK - the ones who feel most strongly about this can go first.

Bishop Hanson, lead the way!

I wonder what kind of car he drives?

[DustyMoment]

According to Ecumenical News International, Williams declared that Bush's supposed refusal to cut greenhouse emissions was not compatible with Christianity.

Hmmmmmm . . . . according to archeologists and astronomers, Christianity, then, isn't compatible with reality. Archeologists have discovered definite indications of global warming that occured 55 million years ago. I guess the mastodons were driving their SUVs for Bush in those days. But, astronomers have also discovered recent indications that the Martian polar ice caps are receding due to "global warming". If that's the case, why have we failed, as yet, to discover any signs of life on Mars or indications that the Martians are driving SUVs!!??

Details are simply a biatch!!!

[Kimmers]

Bishop Hanson, lead the way!

I wonder what kind of car he drives?


Maybe he drives a early model Volvo station wagon that has a lot of earth friendly bumper stickers.

[Inyo-Mono]

Citing an Arctic tribe of Lutherans whose village supposedly will soon be inundated by melting ice...

Possibly the funniest line I've read in a long time. :)

[Chanticleer]

Last year, the presiding bishop of the 5 million member Evangelical Lutheran Church in America appropriately used Earth Day, which he called the "Earth's Easter," to summon Lutherans to the altar call of Global Warming. Bishop Mark Hanson insisted that "our liturgical celebration of Earth Day" was a "matter of life and death," with the threat of climate change drawing nigh.

Earth's Easter? Is anyone else offended to have Earth Day compared to the Resurrection of our Lord?

[rockrr]

I have one just like it...just wish I could have gotten a V-10 ;'}

[Nomorjer Kinov]

SUV upgrade

[Donald Rumsfeld Fan]

"The forces unleashed by global climate change are literally washing away the earth," the bishop somberly preached, like Noah of old. "How will the rest of us respond to global climate change and its threat to the well-being of all creatures and species around the earth?" he asked darkly.

[Richard Axtell]

What is the best word or phrase to describe this new spiritual offensive of the "religious left"? How about "Psuedotheoscientific Idiocy"? Or, how about just what it is, which is "uniformed self destructive gullibility"? The "Human Caused Global Warming Fraud" is a lie. And it is a sin to lie. What is it to be blithely and ignorantly the conduit for a massive, fraudulent lie as this? Stupid. And you can't fix stupid. The answer to all of this, defund the "Religious Left".

[familyop]

"Thank you! I may have a name for my new band!"

Heh, heh. You're welcome! I put the phrase together from an old conversation with a friend (as she once told me about a Bay Area person or people who spoke proudly of issuing their tofu f*rts). No one else has used it for any business or art to the best of my knowledge.

I'll send you a freepmail now with my release of claim on the phrase to you and some quick advice for making sure that it remains yours.

It will be more sick (more cool) than most of the other names out there, IMO.

[familyop]

I will request one thing. If the name works and when the first recording is done, let me know and send a CD.

[Old Professer]

We will be saved by our inertia; to do what the reformers propose would require such a concentrated effort worldwide as to doom the notion outright if it weren't for the existence of the ceaseless sirens blaring night and day.

We are already nearly inured to such annoyances and soon they will be but a background buzz as we go about our daily rounds to market, work, play and rest.

[aberaussie]

Earth's Easter? Is anyone else offended to have Earth Day compared to the Resurrection of our Lord?

Hey, did I tell you we are going to get our Avalanche this summer? I'll have to ask our pastor if he approves!

[Chanticleer]

LOL, I was trying to figure out how we could have an avalanche in Florida!

Miss Chanticleer participated in local Earth Day celebration with 4-H, where she read a book to the audience (not much of one). Voter registration was set up, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from going over to ask if they were registering Republicans. After the kids read, Mother Nature (an older woman in a tunic wrapped in plastic vines) read. I shocked one woman when I wouldn't sign her petition to put someone on the ballot. After all, her candidate supports clean water, clean air, bringing our boys home, justice, etc. I wanted to start discussing the issues with her, but not wanting to upset Miss Chanti and our other 4-Hers I bit my tongue. I was SO glad to leave.

So, do they have voter registration at gun shows?