Posted on 04/05/2006 5:19:29 PM PDT by Giant Conservative
What's the going rate for a mohel?
Fifty bucks. Plus tips.
The title of this post has been altered from the original article. Please change it. Thank you.
John Kerry was Jerk-imcised.
Because it's in the Bible.
I have never known the mods to change it. But it is wrong. It reflects the narrow beliefs of the original poster. :)
See my post #166. Somehow this upsets people on both sides of the issue. Have we ever had a thread about innie vs. outie belly buttons?
I've test-driven both models and noticed no appreciable difference in either's mileage, acceleration or ability to negotiate hairpin turns. Both models are equally responsive, and withstand the start-and-stops of city driving and the higher speeds of the open highway with ease.
Especially people who have serious opinions about "bear poop" ... your term.
Testify!
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last
But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick
I tell ya, he's to die for - he really knows his shtick
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too
Workin' like a dog at the synagogue
He's there all day, he's there all day
Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmear
Just grab your yamuka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel
But if you wanna haggle, oh, he'll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shool
What's not to like? What's not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white BREAD with mayonnaise
Put on your yamukah and
hey ! hey ! do thAT HEBREW THING Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite chip
The parents pay the mohel and he gets to keep the tip!
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell
Show up at his home, he says "Shalom"
And "Have some cake - you want some cake?"
Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz
So grab your yamuka
The one you got for Chanukah
Let's put on our yamukah and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
I remember a documentary about an African nation that was plagued with cases of HIV, and the men weren't circumcised. After the people of this nation started circumcising all males, young and adult, the rate of spreading HIV greatly decreased.
If I was an adult male recently circumcised, I wouldn't be having sex again for quite awhile.
Jeez, I think I'll sue my doctor.
He musta taken off too much skin.
I jes can't get more than 7 inches!
you win the best post of the thread award
It was a lengthly study. The issue was that the virus did not have a foreskin to hide under, fester and multiply.
Will: What pray, sir, is a circumcision?
Rabbi: Oh, it's the latest rage. The ladies love it.
Will: Well, I want one.
Little John: Oh, I'll take two.
Ahchoo: Hey, put me down, too. I get one.
Robin Hood: I'm game. How's it done?
Rabbi: It's a snap. I take my little machine, I take your little thing. See? I put it into this little hole here, and nip the tip.
Merry Men: Ahhhhh!
Rabbi: Who's first?
Little John: I changed me mind.
Ahchoo: I forgot, man, I already got one.
Blinkin: Question.
Circumcision is bad...m'kay.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.