Posted on 02/20/2006 7:52:04 AM PST by MNJohnnie
From Scrappleface, it's Satire
Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam
By Scott Ott, Editor-in-Chief, ScrappleFace.com
News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher.
(2006-02-19) — As the global death toll from protests over editorial cartoons rose to 45 yesterday, an Islamic scholar, or Mufti, issued a new fatwa adding a “Sixth Pillar” to the traditional five requirements of the religion.
The following is the new revised standard version of the pillars of Islam…
1. Testifying to God’s one-ness: “There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His prophet.”
2. Prayer: five times daily
3. Fasting: during daylight in the month of Ramadan
4. Giving charity: 2.5 percent of income to needy Muslims
5. Pilgrimage (Hajj) to Mecca, for those who are able, or
6. Participation in a violent demonstration to protect Allah from insult
The sixth pillar is technically part of the fifth pillar, the fatwa explains, “and it provides a cheap, convenient alternative to the Mecca Hajj that can be performed at an embassy or fast-food establishment near you.”
According to a written statement to be read in mosques worldwide this week. “This new expression of devotion is simply an acknowledgement of the important place that sacramental rioting has come to hold in the lives of so many Muslims.”
The fatwa has been issued, the statement said, “to codify the official silence of major Muslim leaders over the bloodshed and property damage caused by our followers as they valiantly try to shelter Allah (the great and powerful) from devastating emotional harm caused by these vicious cartoons.”
http://www.scrappleface.com/wp-print.php?p=2185
He did though.. He did a bit of a tailwalk, at the beginning of the show he said there was problems with the ditto cam feed, said he thought it was a D.O.S. attack, said it might be because he did NOT come out in favor of the UAE ports story...
But when he first referenced it, he talked about how "Westernized Dubai is" That set off my B.S. detector bigtime, I guess later Rush changed his mind a bit, but at first he didn't seem to think it was a big deal... (My take on this)
There is a picture of him in the book and he looks like a Kook. Bad hair ect, he looks liberal and that scares me ! LOL
Satire?
ATLANTA -- Out of Respect for the religion of Islam, CNN President Jonathan N. Klein announced today that the network will no longer air content that is offensive to the religion's followers, including any other material that distorts the image of the "religion of peace."
"Two weeks ago, we made the maverick decision not to air the Mohammed cartoons -- not because all of us in Atlanta are afraid of being turned into human shish kabobs-- but because we don't want to offend the followers of this great world religion," said Klein. "The fact that we're still alive-- er, I mean--that we've gotten positive feedback from the world, shows we made the right decision."
As part of the new policy, CNN will not air any material that depicts Islamic followers involved in violent acts, since that goes against tenets of the Islam, the religion of peace. As a result, CNN reporters, producers, and camera crews today pulled out of Brunei, Chad, Comoros, Cote d'Ivoire, Dijibouti, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Egypt, Gambia, Guinea, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Kazakhstan, Krygyzstan, Lebanon, Libya, Maldives, Malaysia, Mali, Mauritania, Morocco, Niger, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Palestine, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria, Azerbajan, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Burkina Faso, Senegal, Sierra Leone, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Tajikistan, Turkey, Tunisia, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, United Arab Emirates, Yemen, Chechnya, Eastern Timor, as well as parts of Detroit and Washington D.C.
"Since there won't be any news we can broadcast from those areas, there is no reason to keep news crews there,"he said. "If you look at our website today, you will notice it's pretty much Dick Cheney and Britney Spears."
When asked who would cover events in Islamic countries, Klein responded, "We'll leave it to MSNBC and some of those other guys. I heard the Food Channel might do something on Middle Eastern cuisine in the near future. You can check there."
Klein said he assured CNN staffers there will be no layoffs. "Some of these producers and reporters will be sent to the Vatican," he said. "There are so many accounts of how the Church is oppressing women, the poor and dissenters.As a news organization with a conscience, we want to get to the bottom of those stories."
http://maureenmartinblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/out-of-respect-for-islam-cnn-to-halt.html
That's the problem, I've gone back and forth on this but what I have a problem with is exactly the problem with ChiCom companies. Companies are owned by governments, who may not necessarily care about normal stockholders, since their "stockholders" are the government. And what happens if Dubai suddenly becomes an Islamic Republic?
In case anyone missed Pablum Jihadi's 'apology that wasn't', here's the vid with Mary, Gregory, Dowd ...
(scroll down)
http://www.exposetheleft.com/index.php
We have GOT to get a copy of that audio up somewhere~!!!
Rush thinks it's a DOS attack...
You can buy most Rush parodies at:
PaulShanklin.com
Did you see the column on the third pick?
Most of Tony's show was spent on this. There are a lot of links there - some from the Sunday show thread.
Gregory's non-apology apology...
"Is Rush saying that the port bosses won't be told anything about security arrangements?"
Actually he hasn't said anything about this yet. He's still on Cheney and the Cheney coverage. It may this is going to be considered a "local" story, because the other ABC guys talked about it today.
No... I meant the audio of Clinton himself saying: "I don't remember." I don't recal" I don't really remember" "I don't remember." I don't recal" "I don't really remember." I just don't recal" I don't just really remember" "I can't remember." I really just don't recal" etc lol!
BUT MONKEY
And judging from your ratings, not for a lot of others, either.
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