Posted on 01/17/2006 10:42:36 AM PST by WatchYourself
BTTT
LOL. Whitness privileges are like Fairys. Only the annointed can even see them.
I suspect these people who have this "white guilt" and talk about "white privilege" are closet bigots. The columnist, for instance, has never invited a black person into his home and dwells on it, apparently.
BTTT!
You mean you did know about the United White People College Fund? (A Mind is a Terrible Thing)
I used to say I was going to start a United Caucasian College Fund. Then I was told I 'couldn't'.
White Like Eddie
Eddie Murphy: You know, a lot of people talk about racial prejudice. And some people have gone so far as to say that there are actually two Americas: one black and one white. But talk is cheap. So I decided to look into the problem myself, firsthand. To go underground and actually experience America.. as a white man.
[ enters Make Up Room ]
Eddie Murphy Voiceover: I hired the best make-up people in the business. If I was gonna pass as a white man, everything had to be perfect.
[ make-up is placed on Eddie's face ]
Eddie Murphy: Hmm, I think that's a little light.
Make-up Artist: Okay, let's try this. [ applies fake white moustache on Eddie's lips ]
Eddie Murphy: That's, uh.. I look kind of Harry Reemsish.
Make-up Artist: Mmm, I like it.
Eddie Murphy: I studied for my role very carefully. I watched lots of "Dynasty".
[ show Eddie watching TV ]
Eddie Murphy: See? See how they walk? Their butts are real tight when they walk. They keep their butts tight. I've gotta remember to keep my butt real tight when I walk.
Eddie Murphy Voiceover: And, I read a whole bunch of Hallmark Cards.
[ show Eddie reading greeting cards ]
Eddie Murphy: "For my lovely wife." That's it. That's it. That's it. Go ahead. "You always mean lots more to me than you could ever guess. For you have done so much to fill my life with happiness."
Eddie Murphy Voiceover: Finally, I was ready.
[ Eddie walks onto the street, the perfect portrait of a white man. He enters a convenience store, grabs a newspaper and drops it on the counter. ]
Clerk: What are you doing?
Eddie Murphy: I'm buying this newspaper.
Clerk: That's all right. There's nobody around. Go ahead, take it. Take it. [ Eddie gives him a quizzical look ] Go ahead, take it. Yeah. Take it. Take it.
[ Eddie takes the newspaper, and cautiously exits ]
Eddie Murphy Voiceover: Slowly, I began to realize that when white people are alone, they give things to each other for free.
[ cut to Eddie catching a bus. He sits down between two white women. ]
Eddie Murphy Voiceover: There was only one other black man on the bus. He got off on 45th Street. [ the busdriver looks around the bus carefully, then sets a party in motion, complete with music and cigarette girls ] The problem was much more serious than I'd ever imagined.
[ cut to Eddie at a bank, talking to a black Loan Officer ]
Loan Officer: Now, let me get this straight, Mr., ..uh.. Mr. White. You'd like to borrow $50,000 from our bank, but you have no collateral, you have no credit. You don't even have any I.D. Is that correct?
Eddie Murphy: That's right.
Loan Officer: Mr. White, I'm sorry. This is not a charity. This is a business..
White Loan Officer: Uh, Harry, why don't you, uh, take your break now? I'll take care of.. uh.. Mr. White.
Loan Officer: Well.. okay. Thanks, Bob. [ exits ]
White Loan Officer: [ laughs, then sits ] That was a close one, wasn't it?
Eddie Murphy: It certainly was.
White Loan Officer: We don't have to bother with these formalities, do we, Mr. White? Huh?
Eddie Murphy: What a silly Negro!
White Loan Officer: Just take what you want, Mr. White. Pay us back anytime. Or don't. We don't care.
Eddie Murphy: Tell me, do you know of any other banks like this in this area?
[ cut to Eddie back at the Make-up Room ]
Eddie Murphy: So, what did I learn from all of this? Well, I learned that we still have a very long way to go in this country before all men are truly equal. But I'll tell you something. [ pan to reveal Eddie's black buddies applying white make-up to their faces ] I've got a lot of friends, and we've got a lot of makeup. So, the next time you're huggin' up with some really super, groovy white guy, or you met a really great, super keen white chick, don't be too sure. They might be black.
[ fade to black ]
Do you suppose he meant "beneficiary"? A "benefactor" is a patron.
you have to bank them and then transfer them to a relative in another less homogenous state. they can then cash them in for frequent flyer miles.
You'll have to tune into the "White Entertainment Television" network for details.
'Peggy McIntosh, a “feminist scholar,” said that she has “come to see white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets that I can count on cashing in each day,..."
Being a married, middle aged white guy who has raised up children, I am an expert on my benefits.
My wife and I have been able to go to work and put in 2080 hours each for our employers, we have been allowed to keep the pay after the governments have taken out income tax, SS tax and house property tax. We have a telephone and cable TV which works great after we pay the federal/state excise tax and 911 fee. We eat and spend freely and don't mind the sales tax on goods we buy.
Our kids were able to go to public school and it was nice due to the school tax part of our property tax bill. We didn't mind during teacher meeting night when our kid's liberal, union teacher dropped us like a hot potato when an African-American couple showed up a bit before our time with her was up. We didn't mind when our 2 kids were put on the State University wait list due to its commitment to affirmative action, after all we were able to afford sending ours to private colleges. Oh, with all our benefits, we never qualified for those college tuition tax credits mentioned in Turbo Tax as we were too blessed with income. We are looking forward to retirement as those big white guy advantages will no doubt continue.
"You mean you did know about the United White People College Fund?"
Or, WET - White Entertainment Television
Or, Miss White America
Or, The White Democratic Caucus
Or...
Unfortunately, it's always a worthless piece of crap.
Don't forget that super-cool music show "Honky Train".
Yup...I'm going to watch the Miss. White America on the White Entertainment Television Channel as I fill out the forms so my kids can get the UCCF (United Cracker College Fund) scholarship.
Uh oh, I just realized that in all of the times that I've had a black person as a guest in my home, the fact that they were black never figured into my consideration. No, I had invited them because they were likable in their own right and I enjoyed their company.
Aw hell, that probably means I can't use that to assuage the "white guilt" that I'm supposed to have (it's probably filed next to that "white privilege" that I can't seem to locate either).
Geez, does this mean I have to invite over folks that I really don't like based upon their skin color? If so, could someone forward me Al Sharpton's phone number?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.