Our 1st Quarter 2006 FReepathon is Underway!

To: Michael Goldsberry

The joke? My joke was terrible...or Leapfrog's sense of direction?

I know...still a sensitive subject, I apologize to you Leapfrog, where ever you are. Sorry...

1,101 posted on 01/02/2006 6:16:21 PM PST by Txsleuth (Official Snow Flake!)

Remember how Kerry and Edwards acted like they couldn't keep their hands off each other??? ...

Well, the way Edwards was glavanting around Kerry's mansions, what did you expect?

1,102 posted on 01/02/2006 6:18:10 PM PST by Lady Jag (Honor - Dignity - Courage - Troll Consumption)

To: Jim Robinson; All; Fiddlstix; apackof2; Lady Jag; Michael Goldsberry; Brad's Gramma; RottiBiz

Click the the pic for
Bonnie Tyler ~ I need a hero

1,103 posted on 01/02/2006 6:20:28 PM PST by trussell (Work for God...the retirement benefits are great!)

Sorry...

Hey, I slammed you once. Chill. We're FRiends.

That drive from Galveston to Sugar Land really, really... really! sucked, though.

1,104 posted on 01/02/2006 6:22:06 PM PST by Michael Goldsberry (Freepathon Sidebeer Moderator)

Now that would make a great T-shirt

1,105 posted on 01/02/2006 6:22:14 PM PST by apackof2 (You can stand me up at the gates of hell, I'll stand my ground and I won’t back down)

Where did you get the promiscuous picture of Martin Short? ; )

1,106 posted on 01/02/2006 6:22:35 PM PST by EGPWS

It ain't so bad really. I have some of the more common little problems due to aging.......
BP a little high, etc....
Truth is I'm in better shape than 75% of the people I know my age....
Hell, I'm in better shape than 70% of people 20 years younger than me....
ROFL!

1,107 posted on 01/02/2006 6:22:36 PM PST by Fiddlstix (Tagline Repair Service. Let us fix those broken Taglines. Inquire within(Presented by TagLines R US))

I can hear Kerry now..."HUBBA HUBBA, SILKY PONY...GIDDY AP OVER HERE!!!"

1,108 posted on 01/02/2006 6:23:11 PM PST by Txsleuth (Official Snow Flake!)

I know...when I was 20, I used to think that I wouldn't want to LIVE to be so "old" as 50!! LOL

Now....I see how ignorant "youth" makes one! LOL

1,109 posted on 01/02/2006 6:24:45 PM PST by Txsleuth (Official Snow Flake!)

He ain't even Irish.

He was before he wasn't.

Wasn't he?

1,110 posted on 01/02/2006 6:25:21 PM PST by EGPWS

To: Brad's Gramma; Txsleuth; Lady Jag

Oh Oh..now you two have done IT!!
She's gone to get a forsythia switch..
I'm gettin outtahere..

1,111 posted on 01/02/2006 6:25:55 PM PST by concretebob (Which part of "National Security" does the press find confusing?)

Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua. But on each run, he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day.

With some apprehension, he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.

"Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb.

"No. Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.

This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" He'd yell back, "Five dollars!"

One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the junior Senator.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five bucks!"

1,112 posted on 01/02/2006 6:26:35 PM PST by Lady Jag (Honor - Dignity - Courage - Troll Consumption)

To: Fiddlstix; Lady Jag; trussell

1,113 posted on 01/02/2006 6:27:46 PM PST by apackof2 (You can stand me up at the gates of hell, I'll stand my ground and I won’t back down)

He was before he wasn't.

Click the Pic

You decide......
J

1,114 posted on 01/02/2006 6:28:16 PM PST by Fiddlstix (Tagline Repair Service. Let us fix those broken Taglines. Inquire within(Presented by TagLines R US))

Now that would make a great T-shirt

In most states. I'd be afraid to wear it in MA.

1,115 posted on 01/02/2006 6:28:25 PM PST by Lady Jag (Honor - Dignity - Courage - Troll Consumption)

1,116 posted on 01/02/2006 6:29:15 PM PST by Fiddlstix (Tagline Repair Service. Let us fix those broken Taglines. Inquire within(Presented by TagLines R US))

Ok now that is a waste of a perfectly good male anatomy

1,117 posted on 01/02/2006 6:29:32 PM PST by apackof2 (You can stand me up at the gates of hell, I'll stand my ground and I won’t back down)

"See what you get for five bucks!"

ROFLOL!!!

1,118 posted on 01/02/2006 6:30:37 PM PST by apackof2 (You can stand me up at the gates of hell, I'll stand my ground and I won’t back down)

Hey, wait a minute! Martin Short is a greatly talented man! Edwards is a bottom feeder in the sewer of socialism!

1,119 posted on 01/02/2006 6:31:05 PM PST by Lady Jag (Honor - Dignity - Courage - Troll Consumption)

To: apackof2; All

ABBOTT and COSTELLO:
Costello Buys A Computer

Remember ABBOTT and COSTELLO Jokes? Hope you enjoy this one. In today's world, Bud ABBOTT and Lou COSTELLO's famous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this....

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks.I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer.I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer!I need something I can use to write proposals,track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

1,120 posted on 01/02/2006 6:31:21 PM PST by Fiddlstix (Tagline Repair Service. Let us fix those broken Taglines. Inquire within(Presented by TagLines R US))

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