Posted on 08/07/2005 8:45:12 AM PDT by Loyalist
That's not it: We just answer the question that you MEAN--not the question you ask.
I'm serious. :-D
Maybe that's why you're...er.."lonesome"?
...just a thought...
;-)
A. Admit I was'nt listening.
B. Guess at what she asked and answer that.
C. Resume the last fight we had.
Per RedGreen picking the fight is the way to go.
Helicopters can ruin your hearing too.
Men teachers can demand audience with greater ease than most women, I believe...unless they're whiners.
Hey, mmercier's wife! Do you have an answer to this?
Men have a kind of compass in their brains. Women fill that spot up with a second communications spot. That's why women have "intuition": The right side of their brain can communicate with the left side. Men, on the other hand, don't feel the need to stop for directions because they just, basically, KNOW where things are: In THAT direction.
See? I told you so, you just weren't listening.
Uhn-huhn.
Here's an off-the-cuff comment from a professional who'd best be rated a quasi expert on this topic . . .
Men's brains do seem to be much more geared to hunting and finding animal food etc. than verbally communicating.
Women's brains are geared more for verbal communication and social nurturance, maintenance.
Then there's the whole issue that all of us are a mixture (varying with each person) of male/female in a list of ways.
It's probably a good thing for the children that men's brains are geared more toward food acquisition. But a bad thing if the men WON'T [they CAN] learn sufficient communication and nurturance skills to bond with and affirm well said children. Attachment disorders are destructive to children and society.
My own bias is that women must learn what communication expectations are reasonable with THEIR MAN and to get the rest of their communication, socialization needs met with their women friends. MOST HUBBIES CAN NEVER [LIKELY in most relationships] MEET ALL A WOMAN'S COMMUNCIATIONS, SOCIAL INTIMACY NEEDS. Fantasies to the contrary can unnecessarily doom a lot of relationships.
On the other hand, men need to quit unnecessarily being such doltish clods in the communications realm and LISTEN FROM THE HEART to their spouses--especially about the things that THE SPOUSE considers high priorities.
However, some women consider EVERYTHING that wanders through their verbal communication synapses to be HIGH PRIORITY. They fail to understand that EVERYTHING functionally = NOTHING. MEN CANNOT consider every fool thing to be a raging urgent priority to attend to. It doesn't matter if it looks like 'all they are doing is farting and scratching.' They are just not up to such a hurculean job of carefully and emotionally attending to so much communications detail as a woman would prefer. They certainly don't like to and most can't manage it well at all without enormous effort. And for most, the effort is just NOT WORTH IT.
That does NOT mean the woman is not worth it. It means that such a detailed--for them exhausting--effort at listening and understanding tankers full of verbal detail about questionable priorities is hardly manageable and just not worth it in the masculine over all scheme of things.
Yes, the seductress tonal range is designed to be attractive.
Now, the OTHER tonal ranges and strategies are a different . . . matter.
men process voices differently because of survival/self preservation instincts... men needed to assess another mans voice for it's threat level because women weren't dangerous until divorce lawyers came along.
LOL. TOOOOOO TRUE.
Wrong.
Just different smarts for different priorities.
But they can sure be willful dolts at avoiding overcoming their inborn verbal communications deficits.
Well put.
I have had to learn, however, that many women are like people in general.
When meeting new people, it is difficult to impossible to cut to the chase and leap to deep intimacy until a certain level of trust has been communicated/negotiated.
Many women share endless drivel unconsciously testing whether the listener is worthy deeper, more important nuggets.
Then a lot of women are narcissistic enough to just enjoy hearing the wind flow out of their mouths . . . seemingly. It's a type of control--often born out of insecurity and feeling out of control at key rearing ages. Capturing a hapless male to listen to their endless drivel is a way of feeling more in control. Not rational. Not helpful. Not reasonable. Not constructive. But IS very common.
die sooner if had to hear all the drivel?
Perhaps so--particularly since a male is prone to feel responsible and feel compelled to take problem-solving action when a woman is just thinking out loud as a kind of sounding board exercise without needing the man to jump instantly into problem-solving mode.
On the other hand, lots of women kind of get sadistic pleasure at seeing the man go through wrenching gyrations of jumping relentlessly trying to solve mission after mission impossible.
The 'damned-if-he-does-AND-damned-if-he-doesn't' phenomenon is PAINFULLY AND INFURIATINGLY COMMON in far too many male/female relationships being too often set up by the female--I HOPE UNconsciously.
We never miss a word that they whisper in our ears.
What a wise hubby.
However, I suspect that a lot of times, most women would not have a clue about what they really wanted. They would have to be trained to tune in and report that out rather than just engage in verbal diarrhea.
Great suggestion.
Responding with "Which fat bulges are we talking about?"
can also be hazardous to male health.
They'll state the obvious 27 different ways.
Super well put, imho.
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