John Kerry On Iraq: More Dangerous Than The Insurgents

Memo of Correction

To: VRWC
From: PIO, Uniting a Better America Re-Election Foundation

Subject:

The Kerry Plan for Solving The Terrible Iraq Quagmire

CC: Ted Kennedy

Senator and War Hero John Forbes Kerry has taken bold decisive action in announcing his top secret plan to end the war in Iraq. "National security concerns force me to adumbrate, here," said the popular multi-term War Hero Senator, displaying the erudition and polish he acquired at Yale University, a fancy Ivy League College where JFK (for such is he known among the constituents of the Bay State), achieved an enviable academic record, passing many hard courses.

However, it is known that the plan involves small, but heavily armed, shallow-draft speedboats. They will strike from the marshlands of the Tigris and Euphrates. Swiftly, they will attack and destroy dangerous bunkers as they speed toward Baghdad, causing havoc behind the insurgent lines. This will cause psychological upset amongst the insurgents, immediate surrender, and mass conversions to Methodism. "Bingo," said the irrepressibly Irish War Hero and Senator, "war over!"

When asked about the timetable for this daring raid, the security-conscious War Hero and Senator merely placed a long patrician finger to his lips and gave a sly wink for the cameras. We are allowed to report that as he left the podium, he was humming what sounded like "The First Noël."

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