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Roger, 933 is clear for landing
South Bend Tribune ^ | December 15, 2004 | JOHN DOBBERSTEIN, CAROL DRAEGER and MICHAEL WANBAUGH

Posted on 12/15/2004 12:09:38 PM PST by billorites

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To: billorites

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock , 6 miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"



"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"


A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."


A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.

San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."



There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."



Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant.

"It took us a while to find a new pilot."



A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):

"Because you lost the bloody war."



One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:

"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


21 posted on 12/15/2004 1:06:23 PM PST by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: GoredInMich

That was great! Thanks!


22 posted on 12/15/2004 1:48:12 PM PST by luigi
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To: PleaseNoMore

Check the Freeper Foxhole today. What was put on was Robert Scott who wrote, "God Is My Co-Pilot". Good timing, seems He is still in the cockpit when needed.


23 posted on 12/15/2004 1:56:32 PM PST by U S Army EOD (John Kerry, the mother of all flip floppers.I)
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To: SAMWolf

Good timing.


24 posted on 12/15/2004 1:57:41 PM PST by U S Army EOD (John Kerry, the mother of all flip floppers.I)
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To: ArrogantBustard

I hope I do half as well if I ever have to face an emergency landing over a city.


25 posted on 12/15/2004 1:57:47 PM PST by snopercod (Bigger government means clinton won. Less freedom means Osama won. Get it?)
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To: snopercod

I'd fly with that Pilot any day.


26 posted on 12/15/2004 2:07:12 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilisation is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: ArrogantBustard

Me too. I always have a tendency to come in too high on those engine-out simulations. Need more practice.


27 posted on 12/15/2004 2:14:49 PM PST by snopercod (Bigger government means clinton won. Less freedom means Osama won. Get it?)
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To: billorites

That's a big airplane.


28 posted on 12/15/2004 2:16:56 PM PST by RightWhale (Destroy the dark; restore the light)
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To: Squantos

DAMN!!!


29 posted on 12/15/2004 2:35:23 PM PST by Travis McGee (----- www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com -----)
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To: He'sComingBack!

GPS's are starting to be produced with a new feature. When you push a button, it presents a circle on the moving map that shows your 'radius of action' in a power off glide.


30 posted on 12/15/2004 2:49:06 PM PST by CFIIIMEIATP737 ((I'm a Freeper and I approved of this ad.))
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To: U S Army EOD

Better to be "lucky" than good. ;-)


31 posted on 12/15/2004 2:52:10 PM PST by SAMWolf (I am Popeil of Borg. You will be assimilated - but WAIT! There's MORE!)
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To: Aeronaut

Thanks for the ping Aero. All I can say is just, "WOW!".


32 posted on 12/15/2004 2:56:44 PM PST by houeto (I keep tabs of how many FReepers 'get it' and how many don't...)
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To: billorites

Holy Tin Can, Batman!


33 posted on 12/15/2004 5:32:12 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Because I fly, I envy no (wo)man on earth. - Anon)
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To: U S Army EOD

Amen to that.


34 posted on 12/15/2004 6:02:37 PM PST by PleaseNoMore
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To: reagan_fanatic

Remember GOD was at the controls. We are the copiolts, not HIM!


35 posted on 12/16/2004 4:20:59 AM PST by TMSuchman (American by birth,rebel by choice, MARINE BY GOD!)
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To: billorites
a hatch door

Headline: "...media brilliance continues to astound...:

36 posted on 12/16/2004 4:21:50 AM PST by banjo joe
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To: izzatzo
And there I was, at FL250, when......

...and getting traffic advisories from NASA...

37 posted on 12/16/2004 4:26:22 AM PST by banjo joe
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