Larry the Cableguy is a riot. He would be a perfect FReeper.
What the hell is this russia? When ya go to vote remember this. Wear underware 'cause the lines are long and your testicles start to rash up and you'll end up walkin' to the booth like ya gotta take a poop so big you'd need a breathin' coach!
Ok listen up. Remember theirs people tryin' to kill us. We didn't do 'nothin' to provoke this.! We was just sittin' here watchin' reruns of the Simpsons when them peckerheads flew planes over hear and killed people. If you think just goin' into Afghanistan was gonna end it your nuttier than John Kerrys wife. This is gonna go on for a long time. The reason they ain' t here now blowin' up a grade school is because our brave soldiers are keepin' them sum bitches on the run over there. The reason were safe on our way to the mall or the titty club or church is because our soldiers got these assholes runnin' around like sand crabs with there heads cut off! . We cant give them a chance to organize and head this way. If you don't think they wanna get over in our back yard than you got the brains of the guy that thought up the TV show My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss!
Some people just don't realize that there will always be a group of people that want to kill us. Look in the history books. It'll never end. There will always be a time when we have to defend our way of life. This is never easy and it sucks. I don't like it. Believe me I would love more than anything to wake up one day and see dogs lyin' with cats, and Lions Lyin' with sheep and Strippers Lyin' with strippers with me in the middle. But it'll never happen and every now and then we gotta defend ourselves.
Thats why we have a military. Them folks aint there to serve coffee at white house tea parties! There around to kill scumbags. And if the Media would let 'em do there jobs and keep there commie asses away from 'em they could do it alot easier. War more than sucks but its a fact of life. If you think John Kerry would be better at protectin' ya then by all means vote for him and his plan he never tells us about. If ya think Bush would be better than vote for him I don't give a rats ass i'm one dude. Im an American and I'll still love it regardless the outcome. One thing Im not gonna do is throw hatred toward my friends that don't vote the way I do. (well maybe this one cocky lib prick that thinks he's better than everybody else, but my other friends I love) But for Gods sake be smart. Remember our economy will never survive if we have to live in fear. Alot of good a nice portfolio, a new house and a bitchin' car'll do ya if ya gotta worry about dyin' up at the burger King. And don't think it cant happen. (ex:911) So go vote and if my boy loses, so be it. The sun will still set, the moon will still rise, Michael Moore will always be a conceited asshole and I will still have democratic friends. (except for that cocky lib prick I told ya about earlier that thinks he's better than everyone else)
I guess the point I'm trin' to make is lets all no matter the outcome try and get along because were still all Americans in the end. Ill probably get hate mail because of this commentary but ya know what! Kiss my redneck republican ass! Your the kinda people Im talkin' about. Direct your anger toward terrorists that want to kill ya not me. Im not the one flyin' planes into buildings. Im not one promisin' to blow up schools, and I damn sure aint one of these and tofu fartin' fairy tree huggers that are naive enuff to think we have to wait to get attacked before we do anything to defend ourselves and even then say if we just treat them nice and whisper we love 'em in there ears there not gonna not hate us anymore!
Happy Voting. Me and my democratic buddy Randy are gonna go to Hooters. Democrat or Republican we can both agree on t*tties! Im Larry the cable guy, and I approved this Message!
Larry the Cable Guy for President in 2008!
Alright, Johnny Allright!
Larry just went up a few notches in my book
"You better watch out I think she's a guy I ain't quite sure but something ain't right Hillary Clinton coming to town.
Oh wait....Stewrant couldn't handle it. I'm sure he could book Phil Donahue, MiKhael Moore, Tom Brokejaw, Danno, Jesse Jackson, Ed Assner, Moron Dowd, etc.,