Posted on 11/30/2004 2:28:45 PM PST by Lorianne
"If you are going to have kids, than you should raise them -Not the Day Care Centers"--GeoPie
The first chapter of Eberstadt's book, Home-Alone America, discusses day care.
If you haven't had a chance to get her book yet, there's a website with a similar viewpoint to hers about daycare.
It's called "Daycares Don't Care", and its URL is:
www.daycaresdontcare.org
Obviously, this website agrees with Eberstadt's & GeoPie's points-of-view about the negative aspects of daycare...
Stay home! It's more rewarding than your career.
I have a degree in software engineering and gave up my job 10 years ago.
My kids are now in school, and I'm thinking about going back to work part time. However, even that would be a big sacrifice. Currently, we get to enjoy our weekends. I get our errands run during the week, and my husband, kids, and I can go do fun things on the weekend. I don't have to do grocery shopping or laundry or cleaning.
I'm not a proponent of all-day schooling. I think kids are in school too much. I wouldn't mind more flexible schooling. I don't want to completely homeschool my children, but I don't like them going to school all day and then having homework. I think they need more family time.
Try to figure out a way that she does not have to work. Or at least figure a way for one parent to be at home and the other to work. (eg. one work nights and one works days)
Take out loans if you need to.
Some kids have problems. Please don't make blanket statements.
I am a stay at home mom, and my daughters had severe speech problems. One didn't talk until she was 5 1/2.
My son didn't read until he was in first grade. He just wasn't ready. He's been tested, and he has an IQ of 130 (gifted).
Some kids are quick learners and some kids aren't, and it has nothing to do with how much time is spent with the kid. I spent hours on reading, colors, etc with my daughters. They went to speech twice a week since they were two. They went to preschool 2 mornings a week.
I'm sure it's the same as Head-Start. Study after study has shown that Head-Start improves kids academics for the first couple of years after they enter school, but after that, no difference. In other words, Pre-K will not make any long-term difference academically for your kid, but emotionally may be detrimental. I advise against it.
Well, kids do cost money: diapers, formula, cribs, clothing all cost money.
However, I think that you should plan to have kids when you can afford them on one income.
I made the same as my husband when I quite working.
We both have degrees in computer science.
We had more expenses than most because we had sick twins. We had diapers for two $100/mo, special formula for two $400/mo, and then when they were two they both needed speech therapy that insurance didn't cover, $300/week.
My twins are now 8, and we just bought a larger house. Some people couldn't believe we could afford the house. I knew it would be easy because we don't have the expenses that we had when they were little.
I quit working when my son was a year old. I had miscarriages before I had my son, and we wanted to try to have another baby. I thought I would be going back to work after I had 2nd baby. Then I had the sick twins, and the doctors told us daycare was not an option. Then we found out that one of the twins had brain damage.
I'm glad I never went back to work, and we managed on one income. Now it's much easier (and we still managed to save money).
Move out of Boston. You can still get a nice house in Texas for $100-200K.
It would be better for your child than having someone other than his parents raise em.
Thanks for the post.
I don't know how old your children are but I would ask you to consider one thing before going any further down the road you have mentioned above.
Would it not be in the best interest of your kids to have at least one parent at home to raise them and tend to their needs? If they are toddler or pre-school age then this is such and important facet of their lives right now. If there is ANY way your husband can generate income from home or if there is ANY way your family can make ends meet with just your income for the next few years until the little ones head off to school...please do it. You may experience some temporary discomfort financially but the long term benefits are immeasurable.
We had the same decicion to face when our children were young and my wife decided to quit her job and be a stay at home mom. She was able to get work doing bookeepping and payroll for a small company and that helped us financially. The benefits to our children were beyond description. We now have two of the best behaved straight 'A' students we could hope for. I'm not saying that this is the reason they turned out the way they did but I do believe that not turning them over to someone else to raise during those critical years was a large factor. Just my 2 cents. Think about it.
it is particularly attractive to bull-dyke lesbians because of the selection effect -- non-bull-dyke lesbians who join are stupid and pliant, just what bull-dyke lesbians are looking for.
the sad truth for feminists is that real women aren't held back by men very effectively and end up with all the real power in a relationship, and more practically, all the money (my wife has given me permission to make this post).
I'm sorry my post seems to have hit a nerve with you.
I'm not really sure what part of my post you take exception to, however. Did you feel that your children needed pre-K despite the one-on-one time you spent with them? Or did you think I was saying that all children would be as advanced as the ones in my family, if enough time was spent with them?
The children in my family are like those in mythical Lake Wobegon - they're all above average. ;-)
My kids went to a two morning a week pre-k, and I spent lots of one on one time with them. I think they got the best of both worlds as far as the pre-k thing went. They got to go to school just a few hours a week while I ran errands, instead of all of us running errands.
I thought you were saying that all (or most) would be as advanced as the ones in your family if enough time was spent with them.
I know a lot of moms with special needs kids who spend lots of time with their kids, and sometimes something else besides time is needed.
I'm sure you didn't mean anything. However some moms of kids with real problems (like dyslexia) will feel guilty that they haven't spent enough time with their kids if their kids aren't reading in kindegarten.
There are parents out there who don't read themselves, and they don't read to their children. They might plop the children in front of the TV, and if the children are lucky, it will be tuned to something somewhat educational, but maybe not.
I've actually met parents who said they didn't try to teach their children colors, shapes, letters or numbers before kindergarten, because they thought the teachers would rather teach the children those things.
Those are the types of children who benefit from pre-K....and as you say, special needs children may need extra help even before beginning school.
However, most children who have "normal" parents who play with them, talk to them, and read to them will not need a pre-K program to achieve normally in school.
Are we on the same wavelength now?
Yep! About the only thing that I didn't really teach my daughters before school taught them was telling time.
My non-digital clock broke, and I was too lazy to get another one until a few months ago. Now, we're really working on telling time. One kid has it down, and the other one still needs some work.
Our school district wants to offer preschool to all preschool age children. I do not support this. I do not want my tax dollars going to this. I don't think "normal" children need preschool.
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