Posted on 09/30/2004 9:55:40 AM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle
"Look! Over there! CONDITIONER -- !" :)
"Then God go with you...for none of us will."
This form of counseling is always better one on one.
But as the Scarecrow said to Dorothy in "Wizard Of Oz", "Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?"
Stopped reading right after this part.
Can you believe that this moron is the highest paid actress in Hollyweird ? Doesn't say much for the profession.
You forget a critical and universal truth. Even the most beautiful woman gets real damned ugly when she's a Leftist wonk. The best way to disable a man from the waist down is to get him to marry a Liberal woman.
Which profession?
Ohhhh...that profession.
She is the reason blonde jokes were invented.
Better put some ice on that.....
Well, according to this Saturday Nite Live transcript from 1998, she seems to find Clinton's follies all a big laugh. From http://snltranscripts.jt.org/98/98aladiesman.phtml
The Ladies Man
The Ladies' Man/Bill Clinton.....Tim Meadows
Julie/Monica Lewnsky.....Cameron Diaz
Leon Phelps: Yeah..! Right! What's up, and thank you very much! And what is hapnin'? Uh, welcome to "The Ladies Man", the loveline with all the right responses to your romantic queries! I'm Leon Phelps, and how y'all doin' tonight? (Crowd cheers) Yeah? Well that's good! I'm doing fine, and I got my Courvosier right here! ...And I also got my Starr Report! Oh yeah! That's right. Now I have read this report, and I have to say this is really good. This is very, very good, you know. I especially like the parts on the obstruction of justice, the purgery charges, and also, the stuff about the BJ's. That was good! You know, I like this so much, that in fact, that tonight, I'd like to perform, theatrically perform, some of it for you. All right, so without furder ado, this is another episode of what I'd like to call, "The Ladies' Man Presents"!
[ "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" music pots up, as Leon steps behind a silhoette of himself holding a glass of Courvosier ]
Yeah, I like that! All right now, here in the Oval Office, for this demonstration, I will be playing President Bill Clinton. And, uh, you will know me as the Clinton because I will be wearing this wig. Right? Right. Now here to assist me, is a very talented performer, from our community theater group. She has appeared in "Our Town", in "Uncle Vonya", and her picture has appeared in numerous phone sex ads. So please welcome the lovely Julie. How about it?
Julie: Hi Leon!
Leon Phelps: Now Julie, you tell them what role you'll be playin' tonight.
Julie: Well Leon, I will be playin' Ms. Monica Lewinsky.
Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's right. Well now Julie is not as fat, and therefore as not as sweet as Monica, but I think you will agree she is no bus station skank!
Julie: Well thank you Leon, should we get started?
Leon Phelps: Well yes we shall! Oh, sh.. she is so propesion... profedsional. Oh, I'm so sor... Ok! Yes, yes, yes! But Julie, take your place and we will begin. Here is sexual encounter number 1, or what'd I like to call, "The Oral Office"! (He puts the wig on) Four score and seven years ago... Oh! (He bumps into Monica) Well hello there!
Julie: Hello, my name is Monica!
Leon Phelps: My name is President Bill Clinton!
Julie: Look, I'm wearing a thong...
Leon Phelps: Oh yeah, that is nice... Uh, I mean yes, that is very good!
Julie: We have quite a chemistry, don't we?
Leon Phelps: Yes we do! Can I kiss you? (they kiss) And freeze! Yeah! Now that was not bad! But I have to say, he asted to much time to get where he really wanted. And that is very sad, you see! Now check out how the Ladies' Man would handle the situation, ok? Julie, if you will?
Leon Phelps: Hello there, sexy!
Julie: Hello. My name is Monica Lewinsky.
Leon Phelps: Oh yeah..? Well let me get a couple of handfulls of that big butt!
Julie: Yeah, okay.
Leon Phelps: And freeze! Now you see, how little time I wasted before I grabbed her butt? See? I did not kiss her, I just went straight for the caboose, you see! Now let's move on to the time when the president will have a pizza delivered to him by Monica. Okay? That leads to sexual encounter number 2, or what I have named, "The Pres Gets Him a Slice"!
Leon Phelps: And by signing this, I will make this a law!
Julie: Mr. President?
Leon Phelps: Oh, Monica!
Julie: I brought you a pizza!
Leon Phelps: I hope it's a pizz'of ass!! *RING RING RING!* Hello there Senator Congressman! Yeah! How's it comming with you making that bill? Mmm-hmmm! (he points his finger down to his wang, expecting a BJ from Monica) Yeah! Uhh-huh! Yeah! Okay, that's it! That's right! Now we'll just have to make that a law! And freeze!! Now, I must say I have done many things while having my wang moutha-fied, you know. I have done so many things. I have mowed the lawn, I have pumped the gas, I've even cooked eggs! But I've never talked to a congressman! So, Mr. President, I salute you, for doing a job, while having a job done to you! Saaluute! (they salute) Thank you. But now comes the hard part. Like every good wang-to-mouth relationship, there comes a time to call it off. And as we know, the president has a very hard time ending his relationships. But there's a very, very smooth way this can get done which brings us to my 3rd vignette, which I call, "Yeah, That Was Nice, But I Think you Should Get Going". Julie, if you will? (She gives him a BJ)
Julie: (She gets up) You know, anyway, incase you were, um, going to change the educational system...
Leon Phelps: And freeze! So there you have it! Our president is quite a lover, but you have to say, he is no Ladies' Man, you know? I would like to thank my assistant Julie. Julie, tell us where you will be performing next?
Julie: Right now, I am in the production of Cole Porter's "Anything Goes"!
Leon Phelps: Well, I dont know about this Cole Porter dude, but I'm game to see it! Haha! And I'll see you later on on "The Ladies' Man"!
ROFL !!!
Next to Ben Affleck you mean, right...? :)
If it's true the country is divided 50/50, why would do these supposed actors want to alienate 50% of their audience by spouting such stupidity? I bet the CEOs at movie studios and recording companies are going nuts.
"These people are paid to look good, learn their lines and hit their marks. Without a script they're nothing."
We're discussing Bill Clinton?
LOL!
You would think that Hollywood CEO's are going nuts at their idiodic stable of "talent" making ridiculous statements but I doubt it.
I have always thought it was part of the Hollywood contract to require their people to campaign for democrats. I remember Ben Afleck went all over the counrty in 2000 in a "get the vote out for Gore" crusade. He went on every tv show to try and get people to vote. Turns out he forgot to vote himself. I always figured that he didn't give a fig about the presidential race but the Hollywood heads told him to get his pretty face out their for their candidate.
Diaz = whore
So does Osama bin Laden.
Cameron Diaz is known as mind-numbingly stupid, even for Hollywood. The other things she's famous for are having horrendously bad personal hygiene, and hiring an assistant to shave her armpits. Not exactly the person I want to take voting advice from.
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