Kerry's Mystic Tan for the Magical Mystical Tour. "They're coming to take me away, take me away."

[BOOTSTICK]

Dear John; How are things going on the campaign trail?, I hope your well. I thought I would drop you this note to let you know of a great new tanning cream I just found. This stuff works great, and I know you will love it, I've enclosed a large tube for you to try out, apply it "liberally" ha ha.
sincerely; Hillary Clinton

[Cats Pajamas]

I haven't doofed boofens in ages. How did you know? Who told you, that Free Republic, awwww mannnn.

[Cats Pajamas]

I haven't doofed boofens in ages. How did you know? Who told you, that Free Republic, awwww mannnn.

[BobS]

Maybe some make-up gal will apply 100% acetone anhydride that can turn him white? It turns my fingers white. I am in the aerospace industry.

Then she can pour liquid nitrogen on him.

I put some LNO in a coffee cup when I was bored once. Put in a couple of grapes (which I love) into the liquid. You can pick them out with your fingers because your fingers are warm and develop vapor pressure around them that insulates them, momentarily. When you drop those frozen grapes on the floor, they shatter like glass marbles:) They are still at -270C when you pluck them out:) Be very fast:)

Beware of bored guys:)

[Ciexyz]

Miraculous what those expensive, exclusive salons can do.

[woofie]

I wonder if this is the stuff Michael Jackson used

[rinkrat]

Hey Gang! I found Liveshot Kerry over here!!

[eeriegeno]

We wanted to know, is this stuff safe? Springfield dermatologist Dr. Stanley Glazer says, yes. He says the active chemical... DHA or Di-Hydroxy Acetone is what's found in most over-the- counter self-tanners.

Hmmm, I thought from my chem studies that Di-Hydroxy Acetone always made a person's face seem longer by expanding the jaw area and that it also absorbed into the brain to make a person more wishy-washy in his thoughts? Good luck to comrade Kerry with his use of this chemical!!!!!!!!!!

[Imaverygooddriver]

Is that idiot obvious or what?? He says "I got a tan from playing football" but you can clearly see he has some greasy stuff on his face and one side is lighter than the other. I bet you tomorrow he`ll be back to his usual Lurch dull pasty white pallor.

[Palmetto]

You can pick them out with your fingers because your fingers are warm and develop vapor pressure around them that insulates them, momentarily.

Dude.

This reminds me of some skit where this college frat guy would drunken boast that he would dip his - well, "grapes" - in anything.

[the rifleman]

WOW! Looks like he just stepped out of the jungle.

[JesseJane]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

[Cats Pajamas]

Woofie,
Really, what is a boofen? It sounds good. Maybe I'll get one if it's not to scary.

[BobS]

I made a mistake. Don't use LNO. I meant LN2. LNO is a rocket oxidizing propellent. Stay away from that.

[igoramus987]

Is that idiot obvious or what?? He says "I got a tan from playing football" but you can clearly see he has some greasy stuff on his face and one side is lighter than the other. I bet you tomorrow he`ll be back to his usual Lurch dull pasty white pallor.

How can you get a tan from 1 hour of football? With his complexion, he would burn up not tan.

[JesseJane]

Damm.. another thing off my list. :)

[elli1]

The man is so weird!

He's a walking facade.

[foolscap]

How long does this stuff last?

[BobS]

I would get fired if they found out I was playing with their stuff like this. I was just waiting for someone else to complete his job and Rush went to break:)

[speedy]

What do you mean?

Well, it looks like your offer to do a swimsuit issue has generated a few admirers already.