Posted on 08/08/2004 1:12:56 PM PDT by SoloGlobalExplorer
Right, shaq and shagg.
Divorce is definitely a mess. I waited 17 years after the divorce and her grown kids are now controlling our situation. I pay most of the bills and have provided the house now she wants it even though we had a pre-nup agreement.
If I had it go over I never would have married. I understand why men are reluctant to marry.
Been there. When we both lived in VA, and I wanted to accept a promotion just 3 hours away in NC, my ex-husband (who was never very attentive to his daughter and never paid his child support) said that in order for him to "let" me do so without a hassle, I would have to agree to lower the legal child support obligation he never pays by half, or he would take me to court. So I agreed, simply because I was ready to move on with my life, and since he never paid anyway...half of nothing is still nothing. A year later, he moved all the way to Florida to be with his new girlfriend. After hitting FL, he never called his daughter and only made efforts to see her for one day at Christmas each year.
It's almost a no win situation, but it sucks when you are a single mother whose ex refuses to pay child support yet he also refuses to allow you to move to where you can earn enough to make up for his lack of financial assistance in raising the child. Yet at the same time, not only does he get away with not paying his child support...he can also pick up and move to another country if he wants, without worry of any hassle.
As for how he gets away with not paying CS, I don't get it. I stopped trying to get the courts to help several years ago, because I can't afford to keep paying a lawyer to go to court and have the judge slap his hand and tell him to "try to work harder to earn enough."
EXACTLY!!!! My ex hasn't paid child support for so long now!! He quit his job because when he was working the state garnished his wages for the support. ($150 per month!!! What a joke!!!) Now he only works under the table jobs.
I am totally sick of fighting a losing battle, trying to support these kids and not being able to get ahead! I love my babies! I wouldn't give them up for anything in the world, but it would be nice if the father cared enough to try to help support his own offspring! Instead...he files income taxes, claims both kids for EIC, takes the kids' EIC! He got 4,000 last year for their EIC,and I had to prove that I was suppose to be the one filing for that. It took until May before I got my return because of him. I almost didn't get the money, they told me they couldn't pay out 2 EIC's for the same kids! They were going to take it away from me because he filed first.
Now they say they can't do anything about him claiming them. Eventually he will have to pay it back (yeah right...getting blood from a turnip), but they can't keep him from doing this again next year!
If we had a system of Rebuttal Presumption of Joint Physical Custody (RPJPC) neither parent could move away.
The presumption SHOULD be that 2 parents actively involved with the children are better for the children. The presumption should be what is best for the children, not what is best for the parents.
After all, we see research after research that claims that children are better off with TWO parents parenting them. If that is true, our courts should make that the basis of custody decisions.
Furthermore, under our present systpem the presumption is that every break up should involve the court system. Why should it? Under RPJPC, custody issues would only go to court under two scenarios:
1. If one parent wants sole custody.
2. If one parent wants out of joint custody (doesn't want physical custody obligations at all).
In both those cases, the parent would have to prove to a court that his/her request was in the best interest of the child. Otherwise, RPJPC stands.
Under RPJPC, parents who split up would automatically both have physical custody of the children, which means that both parents are expected to financially support AND physcially care for the children on a daily basis .... equally being the default. But parents would have the option to work out their own divisions of financial support and hands-one care without the court's intervention, provided they can agree on something and stick with it. Only when the parents cannot cooperate to work out a mutually agreed upon plan to raise their children would they appeal to the courts for a ruling.
In this way, the courts could be largely out of custody issues, except where the parents explicitly bring the court into their affairs by asking for a custody ruling. That would include situations where one parent wants to move away.
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