Coaching isn't a substitute for parenting

Jewish World Review ^ | 6/21/04 | Mitch Albom

[BA63]

I forgot to mention - our coach also requested that the parents just cheer - no batting tips, no "choke up" or "elbow up" while at bat, no positioning of the fielders.....Parents don't know what the coach has been working on with him, and often would unknowingly screw up what he just spent 15 minutes on with the boy.

We have a Dad like this. His boy plays on my AAU team but on a different Little League team. During Little LEague games (his boy plays 3rd) he will be behind the fence coaching (positioning his kid). While our Batters are at the plate (I am third base coach) I hear what he is telling his son to do, position wise. This lets me know whether to go for the bunt or not. I also mention this to the opposing coach after the game, it is hillarious!

Is this a bad Dad? - By all means NO! - It's just a Dad who is interested in his son succeeding at what he is doing. I, as a coach would rather have that issue than a Dad who just drops off his kid and could care less.

This Author, justly, as a kid had a right to be a little disappointed. However, to broadbrush Dad's and Coaches, at this point in his life as somehow all overbearing, is out of place.

Sounds like he needs to address his issues in his next installment of "Daddy Dearest". But for Pete's sake, leave the blame someone else mentality elsewhere. Where would Venus and Sarina Williams be without their Dad!, oh I know, writing dribble like this article.

I am not a Freud, never read any of his stuff, but, it takes no rocket scientist to figure out where this guy is coming from. -Still ROTFLMAO

By the way, you and a couple of others sound like Coaches! - If so you have my respect. In fact any Parent, Mother, Father or both, who take on the challenges of youth sports with their children have my respect, it's not easy. No one will ever understand by just playing as a kid, experience it as an Adult! Giving your time and energy not only to your own but others will help anyone understand, regardless of the Sport or Activity.

[bootless]

:-) Good post. No, I'm not a coach (at least, not now, tho I have coached soccer in the past). I'm a supportive team mom who often does the scorekeeping and tells the kids Good Game afterwards. :-) I love the game, as does my son, and I just enjoy watching the kids play. It is a microcosm, and I can't tell you how much playing on a team (baseball, basketball or soccer) has helped my son deal with both the good and the bad. It's an excellent example for him ... fortunately, the parents in our relatively small town are pretty good are policing ourselves.

We had one jerk of dad who went off on our coach during a tournament game (in front of the League president, to boot!), and most everyone got him settled down pretty quickly. Peer pressure can be good. :-)

I haven't read the rest of Albom's column ... sounds like he's relying on old stereotypes, from what I've read so far.

[BA63]

Team Mom's are more important than Coaches IMHO. They are the backbone of the the teams organization. At the end of the season, these Mom's get more attention than on Mothers Day!

My wife is a Team Mom every year - let me tell you, you will only forget once! - LOL

The article could have been about any youth sports activity, it just hit a nerve with me that it happened to be baseball. I can't even agree with the title, kids are coached by their parents all through life. - oh well some people just don't get it.

I think every league has got that one person who just can't control themselves, sounds like you've gotem and so do we. So I guess the answer is shut down every youth sports activity because there are a few dunderheads in the league? - not a chance! the collateral damage would be our children

See, you don't even need to read the rest of the article to figure that out! - Watch Out!, some may call you psychic!

Man created sports, God created Baseball!

[anotherdubya]

I couldn't agree with you more. I coached baseball, basketball and soccer for over 10 years...sometimes my sons were on the team and other times I coached for the love of coaching. I treated my players well and parents wanted their kids to be on my teams. For some of the players I was the only father figure they would ever know. I paid entry fees and sent some of the poorer players to camps. There are coaches that are not meant to be coaches, but what I have found is that they don't last very long. A lot of my players are young adults and to this day still address me as "coach". Thanks for your comments.

[BA63]

anotherdubya,

The exact same thing here.

I still get called coach by kids (young adults) who are now parents. OMG, I am getting old! - Nevertheless, I am involved for the same reasons as yourself and any other parent who takes the time. If I thought about the amounts of money and time I put into this game, not just for myself or my kids but other kids who would not have this experience otherwise, I would still DO IT ANYWAY!

I too am constantly asked from parents about getting their kids on my team. It is flattering as a coach and lets you know you are doing a good job. Instead of just rubbing the little tykes heads and saying maybe someday, I invest and startup competitive (AAU) traveling teams to help make room. I surround myself with other competent coahes and we train and let the kids have a ball! (literally) There are times my kids may suffer because they do not have Dad's undivided attention on the ballfield, (btw, they have it at home) however, this is a team sport. My kids (I speak about all my players, about 47 between 4 teams) learn valuable lessons about team participation, individual achievement and hard work. This is the reason I like Baseball.

Will any of these kids go on to college (I address this because the Author of this article brought it up), who knows. But if any of these kids want to chase that dream, i will do everything I can to help them reach it. If by some miracle any of them do, all I hope is that they will remember where they started, come back to their home town and help the next generation of youngsters chase their dream.

We have to set the examples for our children, or they will turn out to write dribbling Oprahsized articles like this. Guess I should feel sorry for the writer, obviously he feels neglected as a yout.

Again, I say thanks to you and anyone who will give their time, talent and treasure for America's youth!