Who's Your Daddy Party? (Dowd alert)

IMMUTABLE LAWS OF DOWD
1. Ashcroft never deserves credit.

2. Offering constructive solutions to problems, instead of whining endlessly about them, is a sign of weakness.

3. The People Magazine principle: all political phenomena can be explained with reference solely to caricatures of the personalities involved ("Dubya" is stupid; "Poppy" is an aristocrat; Cheney is macho-man; etc.). Any reference to the common good or even to old-fashioned politicking is, like, so passe.

4. It is much better to be cute than coherent.

5. Maureen knows best. Her long years as a columnist (doing basically what your great-aunt Tillie does in the nursing home bull sessions, but getting paid for it) have given her deep insight into foreign relations, politics, welfare, the Constitution, and all other topics. To disagree with Maureen in any way is not only a sign of being wrong, it's a hallmark of pure evil...or at least membership in the NRA, which is pretty much the same thing.

6. It is usually possible and always desirable to name-drop and name-call in the same sentence.

7. The particulars of my consumer-driven, shamefully self-involved life reveal universal truths.

Explanation of the Dowd/Douglas connection: by Miss Marple- 2/11/03

Ms. Dowd was escorted around New York and DC for many months by one Michael Douglas of Hollywood fame and fortune. She got to go to all the best parties, was photographed for the tabloids, and was picking out a gown to wear at the Oscars. Of course, Michael had become interested in her during Clinton's impeachment, when she had written some very anti-Clinton columns. After a few weeks of the Michael treatment, she began to write anti-Starr, ant-Newt columns, ignoring Clinton.

Then Clinton was acquitted by the Senate. In an amazing coincidence, Michael Douglas dropped Ms. Dowd like a hot potato, and instead picked up a hot tomato, Catherin Zeta-Jones, who subsequently bore him a son and they were married.

Ms. Dowd cannot get over her tragic loss. Her columns are increasingly anti-Bush, in the hope of impressing her lost love, Michael.

In addition, we think she has a secret crush on the President and is trying to get him to pay attention to her. Ha!

1 posted on 03/27/2004 3:05:05 PM PST by Pokey78

A nation of roughly 25 million persons has been delivered from the Hitler of our generation. Apparently, Ms. Dowd can see nothing but evil in their deliverance.

2 posted on 03/27/2004 3:11:42 PM PST by solzhenitsyn ("Live Not By Lies")

"I know what you're saying," Mr. Kerry murmured.

Kerry is not sure which end to wipe with toilet paper.

3 posted on 03/27/2004 3:17:13 PM PST by txzman

Dowd is past her sell-by-date.

4 posted on 03/27/2004 3:25:56 PM PST by Carolinamom

6 posted on 03/27/2004 3:27:14 PM PST by binger

Ah yes, let's quote Clinton who can't figure whether we Republicans are daddies or teenagers. I think she is upset because it wasn't her under the desk in the oval office giving the "grown up" Clinton oral sex like a frat boy who snuck into the Dean's office with his slut girlfriend.

Those who defended Clinton's behavior no longer have any right to make psychological assesments of anyone.

7 posted on 03/27/2004 3:27:52 PM PST by Casloy

If anything ever happens to Kerry, he can be cloned from a gum scraping from Ms. Dowd.

8 posted on 03/27/2004 3:30:24 PM PST by Bluntpoint

That's J.F'n.K. Miss Dowd!

9 posted on 03/27/2004 3:32:25 PM PST by TexasCajun

Frankly, I think she was born rotten.

10 posted on 03/27/2004 4:01:34 PM PST by anniegetyourgun

To: anniegetyourgun; Carolinamom

I think she's drunk.

11 posted on 03/27/2004 4:05:24 PM PST by EllaMinnow ("Pessimism never won any battle." - Dwight D. Eisenhower)

She's really a pathetic, disturbed, hateful, talentless woman. She would give a shark heartburn.

12 posted on 03/27/2004 4:11:23 PM PST by Kirkwood (Its always a good time to donate to the DAV and USO.)

or try to recast the world in our image, "propagating democracy" and imposing our values and institutions on the third world.

Yeah, how dare we impose freedom on the third world. Maybe they like being brutalized by their murderous dictators. Who are we to tell them how to live?

13 posted on 03/27/2004 4:23:20 PM PST by Spotsy (Bush-Cheney '04)

The globe got whipsawed by a father-son relationship so twisty and rife with undercurrents that we're still not sure if W. was trying to avenge his father with Saddam or upend his dad's legacy in Iraq — or both. Or was he just following the gloomy, brass-knuckled lead of his surrogate father, Dick Cheney?

Gee, and I always thought that looks couldn't accompany intelligence.

Boy, having to realize my bigotry, a realization that has come to me abruptly after reading the above statement by Ms. Dowd, all I can do is thank the Babe for my knew found realization!

14 posted on 03/27/2004 4:27:58 PM PST by EGPWS

I think she's drunk.

I resemble (or is the word resent) that remark, and I "ain't" no Ms. Dowd! ; )

15 posted on 03/27/2004 4:31:32 PM PST by EGPWS

16 posted on 03/27/2004 4:34:07 PM PST by anniegetyourgun

Kerry is not sure which end to wipe with toilet paper.

When he does realize the importance of wiping both ends, he is frustrated as to which end to wipe first.

17 posted on 03/27/2004 4:35:34 PM PST by EGPWS

How did this woman get to be a columnist?

18 posted on 03/27/2004 4:43:11 PM PST by MegaSilver (The Clintons left the lying, hypocritical mark on their party--just look at Kerry)

Even after a remarkable week in which a simple apology by Mr. Clarke carried such emotional power...

19 posted on 03/27/2004 5:13:58 PM PST by grellis (Che cosa ha mangiato?)

Some people are left-brained; some people are right-brained; and then there's dowdy who is no-brained.

20 posted on 03/27/2004 6:04:52 PM PST by E=MC<sup>2</sup>

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