To be dead sure you get the last word, write your own obit

SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER ^ | 2-14-2003 | CAROL SMITH

[Cagey]

I have no idea why I pinged you.

[Johnny_Cipher]

I've always wondered why newspapers never allow rebuttals to be published to obituaries.

Obit: "Mr. X was a family man and his children were the centerpiece of his life."

Rebuttal: "Mr. X could have given lessons to tomcats in heat. The zippers on his trousers had to be made of the same ablative material used on the Space Shuttle."

[Billthedrill]

If you are reading this, BilltheDrill is dead.

To the innumerable starlets, supermodels, and porn stars who clamored day and night to make the list, I'm sorry I couldn't get around to you, but I'm a busy guy, and three a day was probably what kilt me.

To my grieving relatives, kiss my grits, buckaroos, I did find a way to take it with me!

To the Woodinville police department, it was me all along, you donut-eating simps. The locks on the corrals and the feedlots couldn't keep me out...

To the IRS - $8500 a year for pennicillin is too a legitimate medical deduction. Check with my doc.

To all my buddies on FR, the gold and jewels are buried in

[The Great RJ]

Sound advice. My elderly Aunt has also written her own obituary--she is a widow and has no children or other close relatives who would know what to put in her obituary--who better to write it and get it right.

Those of us with elderly parents should also think ahead and talk with them about funeral arrangements if they haven't already planned themselves. Having gone through the funeral arrangement experience for my Mother, sister and two Aunts, I know that having many of these little details already planned helps you with the grieving process by not having to worry about them when the time comes.

[Argh]

My gravestone: "I TOLD you I was sick."

[skinkinthegrass]

To all my buddies on FR, the gold and jewels are buried in...

Darn!...and that when, the connection was broken...never to be heard from again.

[Lazamataz]

Lazamataz -- Levitating, Purple, Luminous and Oblique. Laz is best known for his sexual exploits involving banana oil, a monkey, a clown suit, and a vacuum cleaner. His accomplishments are too numerous to mention, but they usually involved rabbits in some way or another. He did not wear pants. In lieu of flowers please donate to the Sharp Poison Glass Assault Rifles for Children fund.

[mlmr]

Sharp Poison Glass Assault Rifles for Children fund.

...and he was known in kindergarten to run with scissors...

[WinOne4TheGipper]

will1776 noneofyourbusiness-whoknows?

Will1776 was an active member of the VRWC. He could frequently be seen associating with such shady characters as Admin Moderator and Grover Norquist. His most notable exploit was replacing Hillary Clinton with a male look-alike. Donations can be made in his honor to the Illuminati. All your base are belong to us.

[rdb3]

I don't want an obit. Just let my tombstone read, "Here lies rdb3; Back in the hole again."

[Larry Lucido]

I'll write my own Opus, but I'll be damned if I'll write my own obit. Let someone else do it!

[MaryFromMichigan]

Tooter's name rhymes with h------, but that's not important right now. I'm dead.
Owner, operator of the exercise franchise for Trekkies called the "He's Dead, Gym".
I was formally known as an alpaca.

[Johnny_Cipher]

Here Lies Johnny_Cipher.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
Buy Bonds.

[reed_inthe_wind]

The only obit that matters is the one your loved ones keep in their hearts 20 years after your dead. Right Dad.

[Cagey]

....and I wanted to look like the others in the obits that list their age as 93 and they look 50.

I've wondered what's going on lately in the Obits. It must be a new trend to send in a 40 year old photo of the dearly departed. I've read some obits that said the guy was 87 and there the photo is with him in a Tux, a full head of hair and hardly a wrinkle on his face!

Why am I reading Obits, anyway? I guess I just want to make sure I'm not in them.

[Lazamataz]

Tooter's name rhymes with h------, but that's not important right now. I'm dead.

So when has that ever stopped me???

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

My gravestone: "I TOLD you I was sick."

Argh, isn't that what your psychiatrist tells you?

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

I'm still pondering the woman in the article who collects obits as a hobby..........