Crater theory over missing Beagle

CNN ^ | 12/29/03

[Friend of thunder]

The European team has received no transmissions from the craft, which was supposed to touch down on the distant planet on Christmas Day to begin its search for Martian life.

As planets go Mars is not all that distant. I would assume CNN knows that but I wonder why they would use that word. Maybe I am being picky.

[BulletBobCo]

The Beagle has landed.
That's one small step for man, one giant crater for mankind.

[citizen]

Is that Brett Farve?

[Jonah Hex]

"Katie, how many times have I told you to fill in the holes after you've played in the sandbox?!?"

[Phsstpok]

The Barsoom Defense Force has had a good record lately.

If we keep up these invasion attempts they'll surely strike back at Earth again.

Princess Deja Thoris could invade my home anytime.

No, I won't post a picture. Do your own Google search.

[ASA Vet]

No, I won't post a picture. Do your own Google search.

I don't need to google for her, I've got the entire John Carter book series, (with illustrations.)

[The G Man]

Why yes, citizen. It is indeed Brett Favre (pronounced Farv-ruh)

[traumer]

Their BORDER PATROL and INS is SURELY more efficient than
ours...

:-)

[Phsstpok]

I've got the entire John Carter book series, (with illustrations.)

Now that would make a fabulous movie series. Who would you caste as John Carter? Better yet, who would you cast as Deja Thoris?

[Jonah Hex]

Oh yes, Deja Thoris, she of the well-developed.... lungs. Y'need greater lung capacity on Mars, don'chaknow. (At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)

Franzetta deserved an award for her illustration. (big smile)

[ASA Vet]

Who would you caste as John Carter

Me of course, and Deja could be played by this poor underdeveloped Miss.

[mrsmith]

My "Crater Theory": Judge Crater found it on his lawn and called the Martian rubbish disposal engineers to have it removed.

[Professional Engineer]

Poor thing. She's all skin and bones.

[pfflier]

Typically British engineering is the problem. Hand polished walnut exterior...and Phillips electronics inside.

[Professional Engineer]

Old car guy joke:

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?

A: They have Lucas refrigerators.

[Consort]

I prefer the Caldera Theory.

[Calamari]

Mr. British mars probe rocket scientist

Freeplight presents real British heroes
(real British Geniuses)

today we salute you Mr. British mars probe rocket scientist

(Mr. British mars probe rocket scientist)

through the magic of astrophysics and telemetry, you've taken the time honored profession of rocket science, and made it fun again!
(Lost my dog!)

they said a one hundred million mile flight wasn't a challenge, so you added soft landing to the mission
(beagle call home!)

while lesser men wasted time with politics and jobs, you had visions of giant thrusters and life on Mars
(Martians freak me out now)

so crack open an nice warm beer, Mr. British mars probe rocket scientist, because you and I know that a lost Mars probe should always, always include Onstar in the instrument package.

(Mr. British mars probe rocket scientist)

[Calvin Locke]

"I think I would have landed it on a higher elevation."

These scientists and engineers have to each play a round of golf in their lives.

Sheesh.

"Let's bounce the craft down the fairway."

Oops, you sliced it in to the rough.

Maybe if they had named it Tiger, it would have landed right where they wanted it.

[Jonah Hex]

Maybe if they had named it Tiger, it would have landed right where they wanted it.

Dunno about that. Remember, "Tiger, tiger, burning bright, In the forest of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

[rs79bm]

Neither the Martian weather nor trouble with the hardware of the Beagle's clock appeared to be the source of the problem, he said.

Question: If they are not able to communicate with Beagle, then how can they
determine that the clock is operating normally? They seem to have gone from
'hardware malfunction' to "this thing landed in a crater" awful quickly.