In before the first poster who thinks this is real!
I know it’s “Semi-news Satire”...but are you sure you just didn’t copy it from the UK Guardian and change the names to fit?
I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY! The police admit they are helpless to stop these mobs and then suggest if you do get hurt or you place is trashed... that’s what insurance is for?! Are you serious? So, “don’t resist” means accept what? Rape, a beating, murder... it’s okay, that’s what life insurance is for?
Rhoades acknowledged that “according to the law, the actions of these mobs are crimes, but mature adults ought to be more understanding. These kids come from bad neighborhoods. They want the same things you want. They just can’t afford to pay for them. Is inability to pay where we want to draw the line between who can and who can’t have? Do you really want to shoot someone for trying to readjust the distribution of property?”
WTF...hell yeah I’ll shoot
Joke posting or not, I think flash mob people should be stopped by whatever means necessary, publicly whipped till their backs bleed profusely, then given a salt water washdown.
Sure stand still for a beat down, but make sure none of the precious youts hurts his hand.
Shoot a few of the a$$holes "aspiring rappers that were turning their lives around and loved their mommas and grand mommas" and see how popular flash mobs become. While I prefer an uzi, practically speaking a colt mustang .380 is a better concealed carry weapon.
Are you kidding me?? Mighty big of him to allow that these are crimes (assaults). But now we have to ba adults/mature and just let them pillage us??
Great article. Once again it is hard to tell the satire from the policy.
Heck you’re probably just ahead of the curve. Cops will probably be telling victims this in the near future.
Heh heh! All that’s missing is a comment from the White House press secretary that the flash mobs may be nothing more than youth activist groups on a get-out-the-vote campaign organized by the Justice Department. :)
I thought we were going to be treated to lyrics from "The Coward of the County."
Why would anybody resist? They are only carrying out government policy of taxing the rich and redistributing the wealth. Got to admire their initiative. Can’t wait for the government to do everything for you.
UP YOURS, captain.
Excellent writing and social commentary. Of course, the increasing madness of left makes satire an easier task every day.
Ya gotta watch John, he’s sneaky.
“Look, just because police are helpless against these mobs doesn’t mean people should take matters into their own hands,” Upper Darby police Captain George Rhoades said. “Thus far, the damage has been mostly confined to theft and destruction of property. The only people who’ve gotten hurt are those who tried to stop the youths from robbing them or who’ve just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
That’s some great satire John.
What part's the satire?
You almost got me that time. I was sure it was real until I looked at the source.
The hardest part about satirizing liberals is coming up with something stupid and ridiculous before one of them actually says it.