Posted on 03/02/2011 8:55:31 PM PST by occamrzr06
If you live in a metro area (I’m in Phoenix) find “multiple groups” to participate in. Great family functions where twins, triplets, etc. participate. They also have great events whereby members sell and buy clothing,toys and furniture. You can’t believe the name brands that go for a small fraction of their retail prices. Most merchandise is sold within the group with little left for public purchase after the presales.
Mark the clothes, treat them as individuals. Let them compete against each other. If one starts falling behind, help them catch up with the other one. Attempt to be fair. Mom used to keep a financial record of all Christmas and birthday presents. Totals expenditures were kept equal.
One other thing. Be ready for all the stupid questions and cute remarks.
One daughter is enough, but Two? You are Doomed!
Heed my word Brother, DOOMED! In just 6-years you'll know...
Good work BTW, /wink
I am the proud father of twin girls. Post 9 was right on. Ditto the ones about no sleep. Ours were 3 months premee so lots of other issues, but healthy.
Did I mention no sleep? Breastfeed and bottle and freeze the leftovers. Use the neighbor’s freezer for more storage. That way dad (me!) can help out with feedings in the middle of the night if mom has here hands full with just one (at first).
Have the older kids help out. My son was 3, and was a HUGE help in giving them a bottle, playing with them, etc.
Tell your daughter (and her husband) to NOT COMMIT suicide. The first TWO years were literaly suicidle for us. No Sleep was probably a lot it to add to the “normal stress”. Plus, had just been laid off and trying to get by with odd jobs. Our girl’s were colickly, so it would be MANY hours a day with mom sitting on the bouncy ball.
But of course it is worth it!
ACCEPT ANY AND ALL HELP!
That was a hard one for us to allow. But if someone says “if there is anything we can do....” you take them up on it. Have them stop by the store and pick up some items for you. Or better yet, have them watch the kids while you go to the store! (Except don’t do what I did - TWICE! After finaly getting all the kids in bed went to the store late at night to buy groceries. TWICE I made it all the way back home and - opps! No groceries. Left the cart full of stuff at the checkout after paying for them!!?? Did I say SLEEP DEPRAVATION!?).
Although I never did forget the kids anywhere. Although a few times I would look in the rearview mirror and not see the girls in their baby seats and go “OH MY G..., oh. That’s right. They are at the neighbor’s house!”
One final thing. Don’t call them “the twins”. (Well - do what you want. We never liked that as they are their own selves. We had a few outfits that were identical (our girl’s are identical in looks. Mirror images really with moles, new teeth, etc.) We would buy the same dresses but in different colors, etc.
AND HAVE LOTS OF FUN!
Thanks for the trip down memory lane. They are 13 now, and life is good.
Yes, stay calm.
You don’t want to be handling crying impatient babies and freaking out at the same time.
Stay calm. It will be o.k....
We have triplets just turned fifteen. We had overnight help til the babies slept the night at six months. We also accepted every bit of help from a lot of very gracious friends. Nursing is a burden and the mom will probably want to try, but she’s already worn out. Our parents were also visiting in shifts and that was a huge help.
All in all, it’s been a wonderful experience and I hope your family does great as well. It’s all good.
Your post reminded my of how my girls would “switch” personalities when they were younger. For a few months one would be a certain way, and then she would be more like the other one, and vice-versa. It was pretty interesting for quite awhile. (3 or 4 years??)
At 13 now, one is “tom boyish” but with really long hair, and the other is the “stylish” one, always listening to her i-pod, short hair with highlites, does her nails, etc. Neither one is boy-crazy like some of their friends. (Except the boys all like the tom-boyish one!!)
As tricky as having twins was (is?) - I always thought of the parents of triplets as my super heros! Congratulations!
Congratulations, your family is twice blessed!
Seems like your daughter will do just fine with a wonderful supportive grandma like you. That is what it takes. Let everyone know when the happy event occurs.
Congrats to you too Jim. Let us know when the babies arrive.
Down on the farm, we used to buy two calves at a time, and later sell one to pay for the other... Then again, we ate the other, so maybe it doesn’t really apply to this situation... Just sayin’... ; )
Happy Birthday GRAMPAW! The Father has blessed you with a great abundance!
First, mega-congrats! You (and your daughter) have no idea how much fun (and work) you are in for! We had our twin boys nearly four years ago, and although it has been a wild ride, having them be twins instead of siblings born a year or two apart has been wonderful. I would never trade that experience for anything.
The first thing I suggest is that she contact the Mothers of Multiples club — just google her locality + Mothers of Multiples and it should give her a local group. (The national group is okay, but mostly it just sends out a magazine. The local Mothers of Multiples group is where she will make real friends and get real tips on how to stay sane from other mothers of twins, so try to hook her up with her local group. Our local group has just been a godsend to us. I have made a lot of friends.)
Second, the last few weeks of her pregnancy may be tough. She may become too much of a beached whale to do anything for herself. So be prepared for that. Also, the first month after she gives birth is quite likely to be tough too. The first three or four days home from the hospital are especially critical. Really make sure there is someone to help her (and her husband, or whoever) over those first few nights. Twins are often born by c-section, and it can be nightmarish for a new mom to try to climb out of bed after the pain of a c-section to go take care of the babies. She will really, really need help over those first few nights, so make sure experienced and loving family members are there to help, or else hire a night nurse or a doula for a few nights. Really important. It is expensive to hire someone but if that’s what it takes, so be it. (Don’t believe the husband when he says oh, we don’t need anyone to come in, I can take care of it. He will be almost as frazzled as her! LOL! Have someone else there!)
There’s so much to go over that I don’t know where to start ... but I think I’ll add just one more thing. One of the hardest things I found was having one baby crying while I was taking care of the other baby. There is a hardwired part of a new mom’s brain that screams, “BABY CRYING! ACK! TAKE CARE OF CRYING BABY!” ... and that part will still be going full speed even while you have the other baby in your hands and are fully occupied with it! It tends to make you anxious, worried, and grouchy, to say the least. If she can realize early on that she does NOT have to be worried about the second baby crying (as long as it is okay) then it will be much easier on her psychologically. It took me a while to realize that my anxiety about the other crying baby was coming from that hardwired part of me that insisted on taking care of the crying baby. (Hope this makes sense — I think you know what I mean!) As long as baby #2 is physically safe, it will not hurt the kiddo to cry for a few minutes. It actually strengthens their lungs. :)
Good luck! If you have more question, please feel free to Freepmail me. And congrats again!
Sounds like she’s doing very well making that far already.
37 weeks is considered full term for twins. I had mine at 37 1/2. My dr said she wanted me to at least make it to 35. Anything in particular you’re looking for answers on? One thing I can suggest is always feed them at the same time. If one is asleep and the other wants to eat always wake up the other to eat. That really helped me and got me 1-2 hours of sleep here and there otherwise they will be taking turns screaming and eating. I managed to breastfeed them for over 2 years with great success.
Don’t name them names that are so similar that it confuses people. My father was the male half of boy/girl twins. My grandmother named one Joseph Estes B——— and the other Josephine Esther B-———. They were both called Jo/Joe by the time they got to highschool and college. When they lived in the same town, before my aunt was married, the Post Office would mix up their bills.
I had a friend whose name was Frank Edward L——. His twin brother was Edward Frank L——. One was drafted during the Korean War, and the other was skipped.
So, no cutesy “twin” names.
One is often handsome and strong while the other generally mean and lives in Florida.
Anything else you want to know, I’ll give you his phone number, in Florida.
Well, for one...don’t expect them to look like me!
A LOT of help, as she will be worn out. One will do that, 2 will double the load. You will have to pull grandparent duty a little heavier.
And you can only pray they both sleep on the same schedule.
Congratulations!
When my grandtwins were born, we got out to Hawaii to see them when they were 3 mos old. We gave son/dil the night off to sleep at our hotel and we stayed to watch the twins overnight, since they hadn’t slept through the night in 3 mos. That was the first time they were dressed just alike that we’d seen. We lost track of which was which at about 2 am. We just assumed we weren’t feeding one twice and the other not at all by the crying level.
Another thing that was cute....no matter where you put them in the same crib, they’d gravitate where their little heads were together.
I kept a slow cooker full of water going at all times. I used it to heat the bottles. I kept about 20 bottles pre-loaded in the door of the refrigerator. I started out with cloth diapers. That lasted about two days. The diaper pail became a trash can. Mine were born in June and lived in onesies and receiving blankets. One cannot own too many receiving blankets. Got a bent-rail bassinet, put casters on it, pulled it with me everywhere. Swings kept me from committing suicide. Spent the first year on the couch. If daughter's husband starts bitching, slug him. Hard. Give them good solid names. My daughter insisted on being one year younger than her brother so she would get her own cake. That went on for about four years. Make sure daughter gets food, water, lots of potty breaks, baths, and time to brush her teeth. About the only thing she should need to do is feed the babies. Side-by-side strollers don't go through doors well, get the one-behind-the-other kind. We used the restaurant-type high chairs that pull up to the table, so babies were included at dinner. On the other hand, several times I would just stand and let them take a spoonful, run off, come back for more, run off. Don't be ridged. Mine would lay on their backs and kick the wall while they drank their bottles. Twins do weird things. Get used to it. I homeschooled all the way through. It can be done. They're in college now. The answer to the stupidest question anyone ever asked me was, “The one in the pink is a girl, and the one in the blue is a boy.”
Celebrate your daughter. Frequently. You'll notice I listed that separately. That's because it's really important.
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