DUmmie FUnnies 01-08-07 ("Gore Leaves Door Ajar for 2008")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 8, 2007 | DUmmies, HUffies, and PJ-Comix

[Argus]

a person of remarkable intelligence

Demonstrated by what?

[Charles Henrickson]

Well, PJ, I just sent in my (first?) entry for Bill Bennett's "Sandy Berger Lies" Contest. Here it is:

THE SANDY MAN
Tune: "The Candy Man"

Who can take a paper
Stuff it in a shoe
Cover up the caper
With a perjury or two?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good.

Who can take a secret
Tape it to his thigh
Walk it out and sneak it
Like an undercover spy?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good.

The Sandy Man makes
Every move that takes
Classifying as suspicious
And the line of crap he dishes
You can even call fictitious.

Who can take a memo
Slip it up a sleeve
Hold it near his elbow
And say nothing when he leaves?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good.

The Sandy Man makes
Every move that takes
Classifying as suspicious
And the line of crap he dishes
You can even call fictitious.

Who can take a memo
Slip it up a sleeve
Hold it near his elbow
And say nothing when he leaves?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good. . . .

[Cheburashka]

Al Gore is a man I could go whaling with.
---
Watch it. Remember what happened to Capt. Ahab when he went after the great white whale.

Now I have to get out my Mountain Twin Peaks CD.

[Charles Henrickson]

Well, no sooner do I get through submitting my "The Sandy Man" parody that I notice this link on Bennett's website: Bill Sings Sandy. So I listen to this audio clip, and, lo and behold, someone else has already submitted a "Sandy Man" version. I guess it was a pretty obvious idea. Maybe they'll like my lyrics better. Or maybe I'll come up with another idea or use the ideas you suggested.

[Charles Henrickson]

I heard a snippet of a parody that sounded pretty good: "(You Can't Hide) Your Bulging Thighs," based on the Eagles' "Your Lying Eyes." The competition could be tough.

[SoothingDave]

Our country has had it with, "the guy I'd like to have a beer with" and needs a person of remarkable intelligence to lead us out of this Republican quagmire we've been saddled with.

Saddled with a quagmire?

SD

[NeoCaveman]

How about doing a Sandy Burglar lyrics with Secret Agent Man?

Or that jefferson airplane song?

Take one doc from the archive,
One dock in your sole
One doc from the archive,
In your socks down to your toes...

And remember what Bill Clinton said,
Hide the truth.

Feel free to improve it.

[NeoCaveman]

And remember what Bill Clinton said,
Hide the truth.

Feed your shred-der

[princess leah]

I just hope that SNL rehires their #1 guy who plays an excellent Al Gore-Darrell Hammond...

[Paul Heinzman]

Welcome back, Charles. Another hit--hopefully by the time he announces the winner the sun will be up early enough that I can hear it.

[PJ-Comix]

Yeah. The South Park "Butt Out" episode was incredible. I thought it would just be so-so because the subject of smoking usually bores me but this was one of the best. You should be able to watch it complete online. I recommend that you do.

[PJ-Comix]

I think you have a WINNAH with that "Sandy Man" parody! Remember, if you win, to contact the producer with the lyrics of the "I Don't Why I Love Him" parody so he will know the winning song wasn't a fluke on your part. Oh, and hopefully by that time the song will be fully recorded and ready for radio play on Bill Bennett's show if he so wants.

[PJ-Comix]

Well, no sooner do I get through submitting my "The Sandy Man" parody that I notice this link on Bennett's website: Bill Sings Sandy. So I listen to this audio clip, and, lo and behold, someone else has already submitted a "Sandy Man" version. I guess it was a pretty obvious idea. Maybe they'll like my lyrics better. Or maybe I'll come up with another idea or use the ideas you suggested.

Uh-Oh! Well, I thought your lyrics were better but better submit a couple more to be sure. I still like "The Man Who Caught Sandy Berger" plus I think "Oh Sandy Boy" could be good too. In any event I definitely want to get the Barack Obama Superstar song parody to them when the contest is over.

[PJ-Comix]

How about doing a Sandy Burglar lyrics with Secret Agent Man?

Already done by a Freeper.

[PJ-Comix]

I think "The Man Who Caught Sandy Berger" could be a winner but it might be tough to come up with the right lyrics for that tune. The stanza I provided was the easiest.

[PJ-Comix]

The fact that he liked "The Sandy Man" might work in your favor. He obviously likes a song parody to that tune so it just might be a matter of choosing which version he likes best.

[bannie]

What can we do to convince Al Gore to run?

[Smear yourself with teriyaki sauce.]

Naw...wouldn't work...running is exercise.

[Deetes]

Gore us again .... NOT

[PJ-Comix]

"Danny Boy" is a fairly easy tune to improvise lyrics for. BTW, I have a really FUnnie "Danny Boy" story. Years ago I was watching a morning interview with the Irish guy who played the lead singer of "The Commitments" in the movie of that name. He decided to try singing jazz for real in America. Anyway, he told the interviewer that he wanted to stick with jazz and had NO intention of singing traditional Irish songs. He said his worst nightmare would be to end up performing at Irish festivals here in the states and then have some drunk yell at him to sing "Danny Boy."

Well, a few years go by and his jazz singing career bombed. I didn't know that until later but what happened is that a friend of mine (the infamous Purple-Haired Lady) was working as a vendor at an Irish Festival at nearby Mullins Park here in Coral Springs. I stopped by there to say hello to the Purple-Haired Lady and to try out some Irish brew (the food stunk). Well, I bought a bottle of beer and sat down to watch the music being performed and GUESS who was on the stage singing Irish songs? Yup! That SAME guy from The Committments. I know I shouldn't have done the following but I just couldn't help myself....

I stood up and acted very drunk. Then I yelled out: "SING 'DANNY BOY!!!'"

The look that The Commitments guy gave me was incredible. It was a mixture of anger and sorrow combined in one. Yeah, I know it was cruel to do that but, like I said, I just couldn't help myself after that TV interview came to mind.

[beckysueb]

But neither Eskew nor any of the small cadre of Gore's closest advisers would entirely rule out such a bid, leaving the same small but substantial amount of wiggle room that Gore himself has left in his public pronouncements....

Here in Tennessee, he said he would not seek the office of president. No wiggle room, there. He's just a bald faced liar like most of the dimorats.