Johnny Drops a Depth Charge on the Food Industrial Complex

The Depth Charge ^ | May 13, 2025 | Johnny Depth

[Dr. Sivana]

Sour Cream and Onion represent the culmination of big food’s engineering and biohacking initiative.

My family was in the center of this for a while.

You see, my father had a Charles Chips potato chip delivery route (he had a bad habit of jumping into businesses that were about to die, it was the mid-70s).

Besides the best selling regular, and ripple (both available in 5 lb. cans), we had barbeque, hickory smoked, garlic, and unsalted (popular for people with blood pressure issues).

The business failed because of a confluence of events. Besides the obvious easy availability of a variety of chips in the local super market, home delivery of potato chips (pretzels, cookies), was one of the first luxuries to go in periods of high inflation. The stake in the heart was when a bad potato crop in Idaho (single source of potatoes in those days) meant the chips were small and green, and the price went up. That was the end.

My own addiction led to bad behaviour. I would go into the step van, and take one potato chip from each can (no plastic security seal in those days. That was pre-Tylenol.

Later, I had a mild addiction to "State Line New England Flavored Potato Chips" (sour cream & clam). I had to go cold turkey when it was discontinued. State Line itself, fell from its previous position of dominance in Connecticut. Frito-Lay is like a cartel.

[Crusher138]

I worked at Mickey D’s back when dinosaurs ruled the earth.

I made way too many Egg McMuffins.

To make them correctly at home you would have to have the metal ring they crack the egg into. Yes, unlike some of their other breakfast sandwiches, Egg McMuffins start off with fresh eggs. The metal rings are about 1/2” thick and are in a rack that holds six of them. You would put the rack and rings on the grill and crack an egg into each ring. You would then use a spatula to break the yokes in each ring.

While those were cooking you put down the English Muffins. You used a paint brush to smear butter on each half. When we first started making them we put them butter side down on the grill. Later they sent us an industrial conveyor belt toaster, but we still slathered them with butter first.

Then the Canadian bacon when on the grill. If you had done everything correctly, the timer for the eggs should be going off. You put muffins on the tray with the wrappers already open, one muffin half in the center of each wrapper, then the slice of cheese on each muffin. You would lift the egg ring thing and use the spatula to transfer each egg to the muffin with cheese. Then the Canadian bacon on top of that, then the other half of the muffin. Wrap it in the paper and - back then - send it down the chute to be bagged and served.

The cheese was the same cheese that we used on cheeseburgers and Big Macs. It hasn’t changed as far as I know. Used to be made by Kraft, or so I was I told.

My friend that owns a bunch of McDonald’s tells me it is pretty much the same process today.

The other breakfast sandwiches use “egg” that looks like formed scrambled eggs. That stuff arrives in liquid form and is supposed to be real eggs, but I don’t know...

[jonrick46]

Yes. Cheese flavored popcorn is what I’m thinking about.

[Albion Wilde]

The other breakfast sandwiches use “egg” that looks like formed scrambled eggs. That stuff arrives in liquid form and is supposed to be real eggs, but I don’t know...

Yeah, Wawa uses that, and it's gross. Such a disappointment, since Wawa's coffee is about 100 times better than McDonald's. I've started to make a two-mile trip after church; first to McD's for a sausage biscuit with (a real) egg, then up the road to Wawa for 18 ounces of Wawa Columbian coffee with one ounce of Wawa Hazelnut coffee and top it off with half'n'half in a 20 oz cup.