DUmmie FUnnies 10-21-08 (DUmmies Nervous About Pennsylvania)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 21, 2008 | PJ-Comix

[Nowhere Man]

To the peeps at DU, yes I am a bitter, middle-aged, White, Pennsylvanian who clings to God, guns, NASCAR and SUV and proud of it. As to Chevy Chase, who cares, I mean he was good in the National Lampoon movies, but past that, he jumped the shark. Anyways, although I’ve seen clips of Sarah Palin on SNL and she was great but overall, SNL jumped the shark when they got rid of the “Coneheads” and “Mr. Bill.”

[Nowhere Man]

Chevy Chase looks old.

[NYpeanut]

I think you’re mistaken. That’s a picture of Chevy Chase’s grandmother in the article.

[PJ-Comix]

Um, try “Biden.”

[PJ-Comix]

Bottom line is that the 08-23-86 C-SPAN raw video of Biden going berserk (about 10 minutes) at the Senate Foreign Relations committee meeting is somewhere in the National Archives. I don’t live in the DC area. So someone out there is going to have to hunt it down and post on the Web. I did all I could. Info on where to find it is out there. All I know if Obama wins because this video wasn’t made public, a lot of folks out there are going to feel sick.

[PJ-Comix]

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #1025.

[Paul Heinzman]

Pennsylvania's voting machines are almost ENTIRELY electronic, without any paper trail.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Our electronic voting machines have an internal paper trail. What they want is receipts. What good would receipts do, other than to allow compensation to voters presenting them? Unless you have 100% of voters saving those receipts, it is proof of nothing.

Say the Pennsylvania count for Obama is 3,456,293. DUmmie shows up with his receipt. It doesn't go up to 3,456,294...no, DUmmie, your vote is IN THERE!

[Paul Heinzman]

As Brad on Bradblog.com states, elections in PA therefore become entirely faith-based.

Some guy named Brad is saying this on the internet? It must be true. Brad's never wrong.

[Paul Heinzman]

There is no evidence whatsoever that any votes were cast at all for most of PA.

Thus explaining John Murtha.

[Paul Heinzman]

So what happens if pre-election polling puts Obama ahead by 8%, exit polls have him ahead by 6%, and yet McCain wins by 1%?

My investment in Guy Fawkes masks pays off big time.

[Paul Heinzman]

What could possibly be done? Even if the court found evidence of fraud, what could possibly be done to correct the outcome? There wouldn't be any way to recount or audit any of the votes.

That's where they getcha.

[Paul Heinzman]

Which is why I'm REALLY glad that Fast Eddie is our governor and Pedro Cortes is our SoS

Vote for Pedro and all your wildest dreams will come true.

[Not A Snowbird]

The one thing that bodes well for Democrats is that there is a Democratic secretary of state

Does this DUmmie remember that democrats were also in charge of elections in certain Florida counties in 2000? You know, the counties with the Butterfly Ballot Ballet that allowed Bush to steal AlGore's victory?

Just askin'.

[Paul Heinzman]

They should really have a print option.

They could at least get rid of those popup windows with overweight chicks caught by surprise doing stupid dances while refinancing their mortgages.

[Paul Heinzman]

At least PA's governor is a Democrat

Yeah, at least you got that going for you.

Can anyone say "Clinton / Rendell 2012?"

[Paul Heinzman]

let's not forget one thing... Rendell is still the governor

Fast Eddie's got your back.

[I_Like_Spam]

Do the Amish use electric ballot boxes?
_____________

The Amish don’t vote at all. Saves the candidates from having to make a trip out there.

[HangThemHigh]

"You can't be a DUmmy with 3 sparking brain cells to rub together."

You need to qualify that statement. More brain cells are allowed, even if they are still weakly sparking, if proper medication(s) are first applied.

[Charles Henrickson]

So what happens if pre-election polling puts Obama ahead by 8%, exit polls have him ahead by 6%, and yet McCain wins by 1%?

CRY (If you see polls)
By Johnnie Ray-of-Sunshine
Tune: "Cry" (If your sweetheart) Original

If you see polls that turn out to be too high
It's just Diebold, you'll feel better if you cry
When voting on a touchscreen
Don't you sometimes think it's real
But it's only fall elections that they steal

If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
November storm clouds can be found
Behind the sunny skies
So get your hopes down and go on and cry

If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
Well now, November storm clouds can be found
Behind a sunny sky
So get your hopes down and go on and cry

[Paul Heinzman]

The biggest jerk in the country has got to be Chevy Chase. Check out this NewsBusters “I’m sure she’s very bright,” he added. “But so is the Butterworth woman.”

Yet he gives no equal time to Aunt Jemima. Mrs. Butterworth and Aunt Jemima both have a lengthy history of supporting family values and free market capitalism.

I need to know more about their position on Israel before I make a choice, but Chevy Chase is clearly a racist.